Page 79 of His Secret Obsession
“Like my ex-girlfriend?” I mutter sarcastically.
His head snaps over, glaring at me before turning back to the road. “You meanmyex-girlfriend, asshole?”
Leaning against the headrest behind me, I sigh and ignore the dizzying nausea churning in my gut. “Yup. That one. I think you were there when she dumped me.” I snicker, sounding a little deranged. “She dumped both of us on the same day.” From the corner of my eye, I can see the way his knuckles white-grip the steering wheel. I’m sure there are warning bells blaring in my head, but my brain is too sloshed in the fuzz of alcohol for the foot-in-mouth function to work. “Well,” I concede, “she dumped me, but I guess she…re-dumped you?” My eyes roll upwards toward the ceiling as I contemplate it. “Although I’m not sure that’s the right word either. She…reconfirmed the decision to dump you.” I grin. “Yeah, that’s it.”
“Shut up before I leave you on the side of the road,” he snaps. His expression is downright murderous as the car comes to a stop at a redlight, his hardened eyes pinning me with a glare. “And put your damn seatbelt on.”
“Oh, right…yeah, good idea.” I miss on the first attempt but eventually manage to get it clicked into place. Tapping my finger on the armrest, I stare at my baby brother. Now that I have him here, what do I say? Have I already messed up too much, making this a useless endeavor? “I’m sorry that I hurt you,” I whisper.
No response.
Blowing out a heavy exhale, I studiously gaze out the window. We leave the blur of glowing streetlights behind us as Luke pulls onto my road, and without any guiding lights, the entire area isdark and eerie. Maddie once said it looked like something out of a horror movie, right before the serial killer jumps in front of the car with an ax.
I shudder. I hadn’t realized how right she was until now.
“I need to petition the county to install some streetlights,” I mutter.
Luke sighs. “You are really drunk.”
“And you’re still mad at me,” I mumble. My heart sinks a little when the car turns onto my driveway, the headlights shining on the shop as we drive past. I have so many things I want to say to him, and I haven’t even scratched the surface. I mentally wrack my brain for the speech I had planned, but the words stick to the roof of my mouth. None of this is going right.
“You knew I was in love with her, and yet you went after her anyway. I don’t have to forgive you just because you want it.” His voice is harsh, thrumming with an undercurrent of anger and hurt.
And…he’s right.
I hate it when he’s right.
“And yet you came when I called,” I remind him softly.
His fingers drum on the steering wheel as he stares towards the house, but I don’t think he’s really seeing it. “Because you needed me.” He says it quietly, so matter-of-fact. Like that’s it, nothing else to it. I needed him; he came.
Why does that leave a golf ball-sized lump in my throat?
“Thank you.”
He nods but says nothing else, so I take that as my cue to open the car door. But as I’m getting out, I look back at him. My heart climbs into my throat. He may be a grown man now, but sometimes I can still see the rambunctious, gap-toothed child or the gangly-limbed teenager. I clear my throat.
“Do you remember the time you were seventeen and you snuck out in the middle of the night to drive two hours withyour friends for a party?” I ask. His eyebrows pull down as he looks over at me, giving me a stilted nod. I swallow. “When the car broke down an hour and a half away from home, you called me. It was one in the morning by the time I made the drive, but I came and got you. And then I took your friends home. It was one of the only times I ever grounded you, and only because you scared the shit out of me that night.”
“It…scared you?”
I shrug, running a hand through my hair. “I just kept thinking of all the ways you could have gotten hurt and how I would have been two hours away, sleeping in my bed, completely unaware.” Silence stretches between us, but his stare burns into the side of my face. “And when I grounded you, you said you hated me.”
He sucks in a deep breath. “What’s the point of this? Are you trying to make me feel guilty so I’ll forgive you?” he asks, his voice strained. “I was a shitty teenager, I get it.”
I shake my head. “No, that’s not it. I know that I don’t deserve your forgiveness just because I want it. That’s what I said to you when you tried to apologize the next day.” His eyes widen a little, and I wonder if he had forgotten that part. “Do you remember what I said next?”
“That I had to earn your forgiveness.”
“I know what I did feels unforgivable right now, but I’m hoping that you’ll extend me just enough grace to give me the chance to try andearnyour forgiveness. For right now, that’s all I want.” Luke gapes at me, looking like a fish out of water as I climb out of the car and turn to face him. I wink. “See you tomorrow night, baby bro.”
“I—wait, what?”
Chuckling quietly, I shut the car door and stumble up the porch steps with a reluctant smile. Behind me, I hear the sound of a window rolling down.
“Jax, is this some kind of ploy?” Ignoring his bewildered voice, I put the key into the door and let it swing open. “Don’t expect me to pick you up again tomorrow night!” he warns.
Turning around in the doorway, I wave. The sight of Luke’s head sticking out the driver’s side window with a suspicious glare makes me want to laugh again. He’s still yelling after me when I shut the front door and nearly trip over a pair of discarded shoes.
