The poor salesman and shop hand look like they want to melt into the ground. Not like they'd have any doubt about what's going on before their eyes—the damn proof lies emblazoned across my back.
I slip my helmet on, clasp the chin strap, and then fit my gloves, still humming at the pretty rumble from my new obsession. The pressure when I throw a leg over is intense; I don’t need to glance around to know I’ve got three pairs of eager eyes on me as I right the bike and kick the stand in. Hands to the bars, I feel out the seat position again, familiarizing myself with where everything is.Turn signal, horn in case of emergency, gauges…I stretch two fingers out to test the clutch, then repeat the same on the other side with the brake.
"Don't overthink it, babe." Maddie raises her phone, recording the momentous occasion.
No pressure, Rae.It’s not as though I have a best friend who’s the kind to capture me falling on my ass and then share it with the club for laughs.Fuck me.Nobody’s perfect.
Everybody makes mistakes.
What sets some of us apart is our willingness to make those mistakes in the pursuit of progress.
I draw a deep breath, pull in the clutch, and tap the gear lever down to first, then ease on the throttle.
My heartbeat pulsates in my ears, thumping in my fingertips. Even my goddamn lips thrum with nervous energy as I idle the bike out into the yard. My balance feels good, and my position makes it easy to reach everything I need. I smile a goddamn milewide beneath my helmet, giggling as I bring the Nightster to a stop and glance behind me.
Maddie tracks my progress with her phone, a dozen paces behind her father and uncle heading for their bikes parked to my left and right.
I know, without a doubt, I'll bug her for the clip later so I can steal a still shot of this moment. The three of us, our patches nold on our backs, doing the thing we love.
Fuck. There’s so much love.
And I couldn’t be happier.
I may carry scars from the events that brought me here, but as Tyke and Digger wait for me to leave the yard before them, sliding into formation behind me to begin the journey home, I know without a shadow of a doubt that all the pain was worth it.
Every tear. Every sleepless night.
Every moment that I feared I wouldn't survive.
Because no matter how dark the night, I understand now. I get it.
There'll always be enough light in the world to conquer it.
You just have to look for it.
