Page 60 of By His Side
“Just… stay. Please.”
A sigh. “I’m not exactly in a rush.”
I hung up, grabbed my keys and was out the door within seconds. I made it to the café in three and a half minutes, Felix’s familiar broad-shouldered figure easily recognizable at a table tucked away in the corner. I ordered tea at the counter, the smiley young woman who served me insisting on bringing it over, before taking the seat opposite Felix at the table.
Long seconds passed while we just stared at each other, Felix’s expression giving nothing away. Needing to do something with my hands, I reached for a sachet of sugar. “You were right. I let Julian get in my head. It was stupid of me. And it was stupid to go there in the first place.”
Felix sighed. “It kills me that you sat across from him today, that you talked to him, that you were civil to him.”
“I know. Sometimes people do the wrong thing for the right reasons.”
Felix arched an eyebrow. “People?”
My cheeks flooded with heat. “Me. I’m people. Not usually, but today I was.”
Felix shook his head. “I shouldn’t even be surprised at him getting in your head. It’s what he does. I should know that more than anyone. Look at all those times I left him, but went back because I believed all the false assurances he gave me.” He affected a tone, which having now met Julian I had to admit was spookily accurate. “I’ll get therapy.I promise I will. Maybe we can do couples therapy. I’ll tell them exactly how I treat you. I’ll be honest. Then we can make a proper go of it. There are things I can do to work on my temper.” The sugar packet ripped, my handling of it too rough and sugar crystals spilling out across the table top. “Of course, he never did any of it beyond making a show out of looking up therapists on the internet. But then it was like Goldilocks.”
“Goldilocks?”
“Too far. Too cheap. Too expensive. The therapist is too young. Too old. Too female. They don’t have the right credentials.” Felix laughed. “Their photo on the website makes them look suspicious, like they’re only in it for the money. That was the best one. He was really clutching at straws with that one. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him that I could see. He’d just run out of excuses.”
We paused for a moment as the same smiley woman brought my mug of tea over. I added milk and sugar and stirred it. “I’m sorry.”
Felix studied me for a moment. “For what?”
“For the whole thing. It was a stupid idea that could have gone badly wrong. Levi kept trying to tell me that, but I insisted on going ahead with it.”
“You really smuggled a recording device in?” When I nodded, Felix swore. “Jesus, Darien, you could have gotten into serious trouble.”
“Yeah, I know.” I let out a noisy breath. “Anyway… the whole thing was a bust. I didn’t get him to say anything incriminating.”
Felix propped his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Meanwhile, you probably made his day. He not only got to outwit you in terms of you not getting what you came for, but he also got to sow seeds of doubt in your head.”
I lowered my gaze to the table, my cheeks burning. “I had a momentary lapse of judgement, that’sall.”
“Was it?”
I forced myself to lift my gaze back to Felix’s. Those sometimes stormy gray eyes were relatively peaceful. “Was it what?”
“Momentary?”
Something sizzled between us while I considered my answer. I didn’t want to lie or give false assurances. They weren’t fair to either of us. “Yes.”
It was Felix’s turn to look down. “So… you don’t think I had anything to do with it?”
I slid my hand across the table, close enough that the tips of my fingers nudged Felix’s elbow, that tiny point of contact immediately making me feel better. “No. You’re not capable.”
Felix’s shoulders relaxed. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“So you’ll come back with me?” I waited for him to smile, for heat to flare in his eyes at the thought of the make up sex we’d have. Neither of those things happened. Instead I was treated to his brow furrowing. “What?”
“I’ve been thinking about things while I’ve been sitting here.”
“You were only here for twenty minutes.” My attempt at bringing a bit of levity to the situation fell flat.
Felix sat back in his chair and studied me, dread starting to pool in my stomach. What if I’d fucked things up so badly there was no going back? “I’ve put you in an impossible situation.”
It was only the start of his speech, but I wasn’t about to let him get any further. “Youhaven’t put me anywhere.”
