Page 26 of Beautiful Life
Chapter 7 – It’s Done
Leigh
I sign the last paper.
I sigh.
It’s done.
Four years of misery. Four years of hurt. Four years of being scared of what could come next, ending in the worst heartache imaginable. I don’t know what my future holds and it’s still scary, but in a different way. I look up at Tony who’s pulling the paperwork together and sliding it into a folder containing the end of my marriage.
Oh, and the paper work changing my last name back to Johnson.
Honestly.
It’s not like I have fond memories of that last name, either, but oh well. Now I’m making a mental checklist of everywhere I have to go to have my name changed. Social Security, driver’s license, paperwork at my job, insurance, banking … even magazines. The list goes on. I guess I’ll think about it tomorrow.
Tony reaches out and grabs the back of my head, pulling me to him for a kiss. This one, soft and sweet. “All done. You’re free, in more ways than one.”
I let out a breath and give him a small smile because he’s right. I am free in more ways than one. Free from Preston, free from his abuse and even though I didn’t want to be, I’m also financially free. That’s because I have one point seven million dollars sitting in my bank account.
That’s a lot of money to not want.
I guess when Tony sets his mind to something, he doesn’t mess around. I know what Preston was worth and that doesn’t even put a dent in his retirement or savings, not to mention what our house was worth or even what was in the house. I didn’t want any of it. No reminders. A new start.
Well I sure have a new start and it has come with a boat load of money. I guess I won’t have trouble putting down a deposit on a small apartment. Or paying for Gabby’s bachelorette party trip to Sedona next week. Gabby was insistent on paying my way, but not anymore. Hell, I should pay for everyone to go.
It’s the third week of January. Preston was released from treatment for his pretend addiction to narcotics. I found out he kept his job but was demoted about three levels, which I’m sure is more of a hit to his pride than to his bank account. The judge had no problem giving me what Tony was asking for. But Preston is still awaiting trial for assault charges. He claimed he didn’t know I was pregnant and after speaking with the District Attorney’s office, Tony relayed they don’t think they can get a manslaughter charge to stick.
I want this to be over and done with. Tony is worried Preston will make a plea and I’m hoping Preston will make a plea. I don’t want to testify in court as to what happened that night, not to mention the previous four years. The restraining order still stands, but Preston hasn’t made any attempt to approach me and the only time I’ve seen him was that day back in October in the Carpino Law Offices when I “changed my mind.”
The last three weeks have been different in a weird-sort-of-wonderful way. Since New Year’s Eve when Tony tricked me into coming over to check out his fake infection, he’s been a fixture in my life. Meaning, he has fixated himself in my life without giving me a choice, but I can’t say it isn’t good. In fact, I barely let myself think about it being good and I absolutely won’t let myself think about it being wonderful. Or even perfect.
Tony often kisses me sweet, many a time kisses me slow, frequently kisses me quick and on more than a few occasions over the past three weeks has he kissed me so intensely, I feel like his control is ebbing and he has to make himself stop. To say the least, he finds every moment he can to kiss me. And every single kiss touches me deeply in a way only Tony’s gifts can reach.
But the real kicker is we’ve slept together every night for the past three weeks, either at his house or my room at Gabby’s.
Which again, is honestly weird.
I mean, who sleeps together for months wrapped up in each other, spends all their free time together and never do the deed? Leave it to me to create a scenario like this for myself. Especially after the scenario I just escaped from with Preston. Don’t get me wrong, I am human. It’s not like I haven’t thought about doing the deed with Tony. I have. Plenty. But for some reason, I can’t let myself go there.
And he’s giving me the Tony Torture in all new ways lately. Ever since “I gave myself back to him,” which is how Tony refers to the big event, he’s been back to sweet, kind and gentle. Him being gentle, kind and sweet yet doing it more intimately than he ever has, is more torturous than I can take. He doesn’t expect anything from me and I’ve never been with anyone like that. Ever. And I’m not just talking about men. I’m talking anyone, even my mother and sister always wanted or expected things from me.
I guess I shouldn’t say anyone. Gabby’s parents never expected anything from me and gave to me in more ways than I could ever expect. And Gabby has never expected anything from me, either. Tony’s dad insisted on helping me without me paying for his legal services. Not to mention the rest of the Carpinos, bringing me into the fold over the last few months. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised Tony follows suit. He is of their loins and all.
I’ve known Tony a long time and that time incudes his teenage years, not to mention as a single adult man. Not that he’s known to be a man whore so much, but I’ve heard the Tony Lore from Gabby and that Lore includes lots of women. I know he has expectations and I would think those expectations would soon be coming to a head, although he never gives me any indication they are. But he is a man and although he’s proved to me over and over he’s a good one, he’s a man all the same.
I finally had to address this about a week ago because thinking about it was honestly stressing me out. I didn’t want to think about why it was stressing me out because then I would have to admit to myself I was scared of losing him, so I decided not to think about that. But it was wearing on me nonetheless, so I decided to take a step, be brave and address the elephant in the room.
Or the bedroom.
Or more specifically: the bed.
And I did this in bed, with Tony wrapped around me, intimately with him wearing only boxer shorts and me in another one of his big t-shirts and panties.
See?
So weird.
