Page 25 of Beautiful Life
“Don’t.”
“I could have lost you,” I whisper.
“Leigh—”
“I was scared.”
He sighs. “I’m sorry, gem. I never want you to be scared again. Have you been dreaming?”
I quickly lower my head to look at his scar again, not wanting to answer.
“Leigh?” he presses.
I give him a small nod and hear him breathe in before his thumbs come to my chin, lifting my face his. “I’ll take care of you.”
Feeling so badly I wasn’t here to take care of him, I pull in a steadying breath and try to change the subject. “When are you going back to work?”
“The day after tomorrow. But I’ve been working from home.”
“You need to rest, Tony. Your body needs to heal. You shouldn’t overdue it, you’ll create scar tissue,” I lecture, letting the nurse come out in me is easier than thinking about what could have been.
“When do you have another shift?”
“Not for three more days, why?”
“You can make sure I rest tonight and tomorrow. And tomorrow night. How about that?”
He puts his hands under my jaw again pulling me up to kiss him. I don’t say anything to him but I do give him a small smile. He steps back to pick Mia up, tossing her lightly on the bed. Excited by her new surroundings, she dances around sniffing, searching for the perfect spot to settle in for the night. Tony climbs in but reaches for the remote on his nightstand and flips on the TV. He settles himself on a couple of pillows and pulls me into his side opposite his scar.
“Should we watch the ball drop, gem?”
“Sure.” I allow myself to snuggle into his side, something I’ve missed terribly over the past two weeks. I rest my cheek on his shoulder and drape my leg over his thigh. Having this back again is good. Better than good. It’s perfect and I’m mad at myself for taking it away from both of us.
As I lay pressed up against him, warm and full of life, my emotions take over again. I could have lost him. My tears start as I can’t get the picture of him in ICU having just been shot out of my head.
I can tell he feels my tears as he tries to look down at me. “Sweetheart, why are you crying?”
I shake my head and try to get a handle on it. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to take care of you. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
His arm flexes around me and I feel his lips come to my head. “Stop crying. You’re here now, it’s all that matters. It’s a new year, gem. I can’t think of any other way I’d rather start it off than having you here with me.”
I nod into his shoulder and let my body relax further into his. I don’t get to see the ball drop. I drift off into dreamless sleep for the first time in two weeks.
*****
Tony
I click off the TV and toss the remote to the other side of the bed. Doing my best to scoot us down without waking Leigh or hurting my gut isn’t easy, but I finally get us settled. I wipe her tear streaked face, smell her hair and feel her in my arms again pressed up next to me. It’s better than it’s ever been because she’s in my bed tonight where I plan on keeping her.
The last two weeks have been my own brand of nightmare. Getting shot was a definite low, but having the women in my life, in my life, and not just on a daily basis, but what seemed to be an hourly basis, has been a living hell. My mother, my aunts, my sisters and my cousins have all been cleaning and cooking up a storm driving me insane. They would have driven me insane anyway, but all I wanted was to have Leigh here and that made it worse. It’s been a long two weeks and I hope she was serious when she promised not to leave me again because I’m holding her to it.
I hated being demanding and hard on her tonight, but we weren’t making any progress. I needed her to open up somehow. It was a measured risk but it worked. And getting her to come to me was even better.
But what she told me about her child and how she blames herself keeps ringing in my brain. It kills me this has been in her head all along, ravaging her thoughts, both coherent and incoherent. I have no idea how to get her to stop blaming herself for what that fuckwad did, but even if I have to take it day by day, I’ll get that wiped from her head, too. And the minute she’s mine, I’ll work hard at giving her the baby she wants. My baby.
That thought makes me smile. I roll into her hitching her knee over my hip and slide my thigh up tight in between her legs the way we’ve become used to sleeping. I feel her tuck in close in her sleep and hear her sigh as her breathing evens out again.
Yeah, I can’t wait until she’s pregnant with my baby.
