Page 117 of Promised Love
“As I grew up, I realized it was wrong, and I started protesting against his trashy demands. He didn’t like it, and one day, his violence crossed all limits. He beat me with anything and everything he could find in the house. By the time he was pulled away from me by my mother and a few neighbors, I was hardly breathing.”
Autumn’s sobs fill the room.
“But there was a silver lining to this. My mom, for the first time, saw the truth as it was. She had made a huge mistake and put both of our lives at risk.”
I take a deep breath, telling her the part of my story which I’d heard from my grandparents. “While I was recovering at the hospital, my mother was driving to meet her parents, planning to tell them about my existence and acknowledging her mistake. It was the day of the accident, so my grandparents didn’t find out about me until they visited the town where my mother lived. It was also the day they learned of their daughter’s suffering. They started searching for me and found me in a boys’ home. Guilt ate them alive. They’d thought their daughter was happy, and that turned out completely wrong.” I sink down onto the couch. “So, now you know why I can give you nothing but shame and hurt. I have the same blood running through my veins, Autumn.”
“Did you reply to my emails because you thought I needed to talk to someone outside my family, like…your mother?”
Her question catches me off guard. Did I?
“I don’t know.” I dig the heels of my palms into my eyes. “I definitely never wanted you to have a life even a tiny bit similar to hers, but I don’t know more.” I get up and look at her teary face. “I hope you understand now and will sign the papers.” Then I walk to the door.
“Do you love me, Lukas?” she asks, and my steps come to a halt.
“Did you not hear what I said?” Why the fuck is she even asking me this?
“I heard everything, and I’m sorry, really sorry, for everything you went through as a child. I’m so sorry that your mom had such a shitty experience with love. And I’m so proud of you and the journey you’ve walked to become the person you are.”
Before her soft words can melt my resolve, I say, “Every journey leaves its mark, Autumn, and mine run deep.”
“I love you exactly as you are, with all the marks and all the wounds.”
She’s again said the word love and twisted my insides, filling them with false hope.
“I can never run away from my past. There’s no place in this world where I can go and get rid of that man’s blood flowing through my veins. And I’ll die in shame knowing I somehow ruined you by tying you with him.”
That’s the last thing I say before leaving her in the room that has been witness to my happiest days.
41
LUKAS
From: autumnthefallqueen
To: lukasspencer
Hi, Lukas,
I think you’ll appreciate the images.
~ Autumn
P.S. It’s a newborn in our local zoo. We had a big celebration in the town’s square.
I open the attachment and snort, remembering that when I first read this email three years ago, Keith was explaining something about our newest case. In the photo, she’s standing outside the glass chamber next to a white newborn harp seal. There’s a blue flag in her hand that reads I’M A SEAL.
Connor rolls his wheelchair into my office. “What are you doing here so late?”
I minimize the old email. “I could ask the same question,” I grunt, because that’s my usual voice these days.
He stops next to my desk and hovers over my computer screen. “So you’re running?” He tilts his head toward the open website of cabin rentals in a deserted village in Sweden.
“I’m not running. I’m booking a vacation. Can’t a man have that?”
“I see,” he replies slowly. I don’t think he sees anything. He’s deliberately trying to be patronizing. “You can have all the vacations you like. In fact, I’d say you’ve earned a long vacation.”
“Don’t try to act smart with me, Connor. You might be the CEO and boss, but I’m also a co-owner of Kings Security.” I keep my gaze on the screen as I scroll through the different images of red, blue, and yellow wooden cabins in white snow.
