Page 85 of Second Chance with the Rancher
Eventually, the light from the headlamp disappeared and he was able to take a deeper breath. His chest still hurt and his brain still raged, but deep down, he knew he’d done the right thing.
Because wasn’t it the age old saying, if you love something, set it free?
And Nate knew for a fact that he’d never loved anyone the way he loved Mieka, so he was doing what was right, and he was letting her go, even though it shattered his heart to do it.
Chapter Nineteen
Mieka’s well of tears had run dry by the time she reached the farmhouse. Her nose was clogged, her face was drenched and everything hurt. Particularly, her heart.
Bruno grew more and more distraught the longer and harder she cried, stopping her several times on the walk through the field to whimper and put his paws on her thighs, asking what was wrong.
She’d also stopped, spun around and stalked back toward him several times with her fists bunched and a deep pinch to her brows. Had he really just dumped her?
But after a yard or two, she’d lose her fire and turn back around to face the house.
What would she say to him? Demand that they keep their temporary, casual thing going until she left, just so she could squeeze out a few more orgasms and kisses?
He’d said his piece. He’d fallen in love with her, tried to convince her to make their temporary arrangement permanent and call the ranch home. They wanted different things, and when she really thought about it, maybe ending it now rather than a week from now really was the best for all involved. They could take the week to cool off, return to being friends and hopefully part ways on truly amicable terms.
That didn’t mean her heart wasn’t broken currently and her eyes weren’t blurry from all the tears.
She’d asked Nate multiple times if he could handle this temporary arrangement. She didn’t want to lead him on, and he assured her that he was a big boy and could handle a fling. She knew he was still trying to convince her that ranch life was for her, but she also thought that he knew no matter how lovely life here seemed, eventually, she would leave.
She was a square peg and this life was a round hole. They just didn’t fit.
Grateful that Nate was still in the field, she zipped up to his room and gathered her things, returning to the guest room on the main floor of the house. She showered, then fell into bed with Bruno curled up beside her as she hugged her pillow and surprisingly more tears fell, despite the fact that she was sure she’d depleted her stores on the walk back through the field.
She slept terribly, flitting in and out of consciousness, then laying awake staring at the ceiling when she heard Nate arrive and stomp upstairs. Then knowing he was laying in his bed alone upstairs just brought on a whole new batch of tears that soaked her pillow until sunrise.
Making sure Nate and Asher were out of the house and in the barn before she emerged from her room, Mieka dressed before she left her room, tossed her hair into two plaits that fell over each shoulder and made her way into the kitchen in search of much-needed coffee. She was exhausted after such a restless, tear-filled night. Bruno found his breakfast, ate it and took off outside to do his business, but she knew he wouldn’t be gone long. Every time she woke up last night, so did the dog. He’d whimper, get up and lick her face, then settle somewhere on the bed closer to her than before. Eventually, he was curled up on her pillow with his chin resting across her neck. It wasn’t overly comfortable, but she welcomed the companionship. She didn’t want to be alone and Bruno seemed to know that.
“Good morning,” Triss greeted her, sitting at the kitchen table sipping her coffee and finishing her toast.
Mieka’s gaze met her sister’s, Triss’s eyes went wide as tears filled Mieka’s and at the same time Triss stood up from the table, Mieka collapsed into her sister’s arms.
“Fucking hell,” Triss murmured against Mieka’s shoulder as Mieka sobbed and shook against her sister’s frame. “He did it, didn’t he? He told you he loved you and went and fucked it all up.”
“It’s not his fault,” Mieka choked.
“Of course, it is. Well, it’s both of your faults, but you were upfront about this being temporary, and it’s like he had horse shit in his ears and only heard what he wanted to hear. Thought he could change your mind.” Triss stroked Mieka’s back. “I mean, I hoped he’d succeed, but I know you. You’re stubborn and stuck in your own head. I figured hell would have to freeze over before his efforts actually worked. And now you’re crying, in the guestroom again, and Nate is wandering around with a giant black cloud over his head.”
Mieka couldn’t decide if knowing there was a black cloud over Nate’s head made her feel better or worse. She didn’t like the idea of him being sad or angry. That hurt her heart even more. But he’d also gone and done exactly what he promised he wouldn’t, which was take this from a temporary fling of fun to something far more serious that he wanted to make permanent. That black cloud was his fault not hers.
“I think I’m going to take the job,” she said between sniffles and sobs. “I think I could be good at real estate.”
“Okay,” Triss said carefully.
“I promised Hank I’d work with him until his sister’s wedding, but that’s this coming weekend, so after that, I’m going to go. I’ve overstayed my welcome and need to get on with my life.”
Triss pushed her away slightly and held her by the shoulders. “You have not overstayed your welcome, okay? Just know that. You are more than welcome to stay here longer. We can ignore Nate together and I’ll even let you spit in his food.”
Mieka snorted and wiped away a tear that sprinted down the crease of her nose. “I don’t want to spit in his food. Can I really be mad at him for falling in love with me? Isn’t that the ultimate compliment?”
“We can be mad at him because you repeatedly made sure you weren’t leading him on and let him know that this thing between you was temporary, then he went and changed the agreement. I mean, we can’t exactly control who we fall in love with.” Triss tipped her head in the direction of the barn. “I fell in love with a grumpy stoner rancher with PTSD for crying out loud.”
“How do I even function around him now? It’s going to be so awkward, which is exactly what I was worried about. I don’t want it to be awkward or weird for you. He’s your brother-in-law. He’s your family. And we’re going to share a niece or nephew. I want to come back and see the baby, see you. Now it’s going to be weird. Especially if I start seeing someone else, or he does.”
The idea of Nate being with someone else made her stomach spin and bile coat the back of her tongue. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle that.
