Page 84 of Second Chance with the Rancher
He finished his rosé and packed away the plastic wine glass. “Am I then?”
Her gaze turned impatient. “We both knew this was temporary, Nate. I’ve asked you several times if you knew that. I told you I didn’t want to lead you on, and you said that I wasn’t and that it was fine. That we could just spend time together, make each other feel good and enjoy each other’s bodies, knowing that it would eventually end. You’ve been trying to convince me that I’m a cowgirl at heart—”
“Rancher.”
She rolled her pretty brown eyes. “Fine, a rancher, but as much as I’ve enjoyed myself here, and with you, we both know this isn’t the life for me.”
“We both don’t know that. I don’t know that. I think you’re kidding yourself. This is totally the life for you, you’re just too stubborn to see it. You don’t want to see it. You don’t want this life. And why? What’s wrong with this life? We work hard, we make good money, we contribute to our economy, help out our neighbors and have the respect of our county and everyone who comes here or deals with us. We ship our stud jizz all over the fucking world. The equestrian world knows and respects the Harris Brothers Ranch. We’re not nobodies. We might be blue collar, but we’re respected.”
Her expression remained irritatingly neutral, but her eyes were sad.
Was Mieka a snob? Was she turning her nose up at this life because she thought she was better than it? He hadn’t gotten that impression from her before, especially since she’d jumped into every activity and chore with gusto and got just as dirty as the rest of them. But maybe she really was a snob and thought this life was beneath her.
He continued packing up their dinner dishes, then reached up and shut off the projector.
“I just don’t think we want the same things,” she said slowly. “We’re not connecting the way we should. We agreed to keep it casual and we couldn’t do that. And now … now people are hurt.”
“Yeah,” he snapped. “People are hurt.” He showed her his back as he continued to clean up. He was close to fucking tears and the last thing he wanted to do was allow himself to be anymore vulnerable around a woman who clearly didn’t want him or the amazing life he was offering her.
“So that’s it?” she asked, her words coming out choked. “The date is over?”
He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know anything anymore.
“Nate!”
“What?” he rounded on her. “What do you want from me?” Tears stung his eyes.
“An answer. Because I said I’ve been offered a job and am considering it, are you ending the date? Are you ending things between us right here and right now because you’re not getting what you want? I was honest and upfront right from the beginning. You can’t blame me, when you knew this was temporary right from the start.”
Nate ground his molars, flicked his gaze up to hers and blurted out, “I fucking love you, Minx. I’m in love with you. I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, but I did. I’m weak. You told me it was temporary and I agreed, because I thought I could make it permanent. I said I was going to try to show you how good ranch life could be—and I asked you to give me a month to do that. I knew it was a long shot, but I remained hopeful anyway. I fucked up and I fell in love with you. Does that not change anything for you?”
Her brown eyes were wide. “Nate … I …”
“I want you to stay. Build a life with me here. I thought I was doing a good job of convincing you that you were born for this life, that we were really connecting, but apparently, I failed at that, too. I failed at keeping it casual and I failed at showing you how good this life can be.”
Everything in his body was strung so tight that it hurt to even blink. It hurt to breathe and the push and pull of his heart strings with every beat was enough to make him see spots and nearly pass out. Nothing had ever hurt this badly. He’d gladly get burned to nearly a crisp again, then go through what he was feeling right now.
“I think we should just end it now,” he whispered, the words feeling like a thousand rose thorns ripping open his throat more and more with each uttered syllable.
“What?” she asked, her voice soft and shocked. “Why?”
He shook his head. “I just … I’m done trying to convince you.”
“So, because you’re done trying to convince me to stay this all has to end?”
He closed his eyes and his shoulders rounded with the heavy weight of his pain. A hot tear sprinted down his cheek and he quickly swept it away. “I think it’s for the best. A clean break. We can be friends. I hold no animosity or anger toward you, but I need to start getting over you.”
“And you think that’ll be easier to do while I’m still here?”
No. But he also wasn’t prepared to torture himself for another week while she was here, knowing he’d failed to convince her to stay, and that she didn’t and would never feel the same way about him that he did her.
He dug out a headlamp from the bag of stuff he’d brought with him. “Here. You can head back to the house. I’ll clean up.”
“Nate,” she breathed.
“I’m sorry, Mieka, I just … I failed and I’m sorry for that. I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful real estate agent.” And with that, he stood up and started to take down the sheet that had been their movie screen and the twinkling strings of lights.
He avoided looking at her at all costs, and he wasn’t sure when she got up and left, but eventually she did. His chest throbbed as he watched the light from the headlamp bob through the field toward the main house. He knew she’d be safe. Bruno was with her, but he just couldn’t spend another minute with her, wrapped up in a temporary cocoon of bliss, knowing that she wasn’t even trying to give them a real chance. She was willing to take a risk on a job she’d never expressed any interest in, in a city she barely knew, but she wasn’t willing to take a chance on him or a life together.
