“I’ll try my best to answer as truthfully as I can,” he says.
“Okay. Did you have anything to do with my promotion to be Deana’s PA at work?”
“No.”
“Did Andi?”
“Yes,” he confirms. I hate the bitch even more for this.
“Does Deana know what kind of work you do?”
“Yes.”
“Oh great,” I say, throwing my hands up in the air.
“She’s married to one of the founding members of the organisation.”
“And why was it so important for me to be given the PA job?”
“We needed to keep an eye on you. I needed to know that you were as safe as possible.”
“Does that relate to Ricardo and Gavin?”
“Yes.”
“Why are they back, Luke?”
“I’d rather not go into detail.” I can tell from that answer alone that I clearly wouldn’t like his answer. I try to think of anything else that I may want answered, but nothing comes to mind. Luke has clearly struggled with telling me what he already has. As I look at him, everything fits into place. All he has ever done is try to protect me. Can I really be mad at him for that?
“I need some time to think,” I say. It’s all so much to take in.
“Okay.” He looks crestfallen by my answer. I push myself up from the chair and I go to walk past him. “Just please, don’t tell anyone else.”
“I promise that I won’t.”
I make my way into the lounge to see that Oliver has fallen asleep, so I go to sit beside him on the carpet. I watch him, and I let my mind drift to what Luke has just told me. The secrecy. The lies he has told throughout our entire time together. The need to protect me. The need to keep me away from his job. I have to try and decide what to do. I have to choose the correct path for myself and my son.
As I look at Oliver’s chubby little cheeks and watch his eyelids as they flutter whilst he sleeps, I feel a pang hit my chest. If I leave Luke, then Oliver won’t get to see his dad every day. Oliver would miss out on the chance at having a loving family. Because I do love Luke. There is no mistaking that I love him. I can’t just switch those feelings off. Yes, I am pissed that he lied, but even I can understand that he had good reason to. He hasn’t lied to hurt me. He’s done it to protect me.
I don’t know how long I sit on the floor for, but when I eventually look up, Luke is stood in the lounge doorway. He almost looks beaten. He gives me a soft smile, but I can see the sadness behind it. He thinks that he has lost me. He thinks that I am going to leave him. I make myself get up off of the floor, and I walk over to where Luke is stood. I watch as his breathing quickens slightly. I stop just in front of him, and I tilt my face so that I can look at him. Fear and panic flash through his eyes.
“Have you––” I bring my finger up to his lips to stop him speaking. I’m not going to keep him waiting for my decision. As much as I may have said that I needed to think things through, I already know my answer.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say, my voice quiet and soft. Luke wraps his fingers around my wrist and gently moves my hand away from his lips.
“You’re not leaving me?” he asks, surprised.
“No, Luke, I’m not leaving you.” I can tell that he is stunned. He obviously didn’t expect me to come to this conclusion, this quickly. His eyes penetrate mine before he lifts me up, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. “I’m angry with you, and I do feel hurt by you, but I’m not going anywhere. It may take some time for me to fully trust you again, but I know that everything you did was to keep us safe.”
He rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you, Charlie. I love you and Oliver more than anything.”
“I know,” I whisper, and he opens his eyes, connecting his blue pools with my green ones.
“Are we still getting married?” he asks tentatively.
“Yes.” There is no hesitation. It feels right. I want to be Luke’s wife. His mouth covers mine and his hand grips the nape of my neck. Our tongues merge, our breaths entwine. I love this man, and I love that he has tried to keep me safe during our entire relationship. I don’t want to leave him. I don’t want to be without him. No matter what he has kept from me, it has only ever been for the good of us as a couple.
He is, and always will be my soulmate.
