“They chased me, you know, in a car whilst I ran like my fucking life depended on it, which I can only presume it did because you won’t fucking tell me anything!” I shriek. I can’t keep my voice calm, I can’t dampen the worry and the hurt that is building within me, and I’m sure as shit done with giving Luke an easy time.
My body shakes with rage, and I am by no means done yet. “I trusted you, Luke. I always have done, so how bloody stupid do you think I feel, huh? How utterly fucking hurt do you think I feel right now because you can’t trust me enough to tell me the truth?” I continue.
“Charlie––”
“Unless you are going to be completely fucking honest with me, I don’t want to hear it. Everything I have done is because I wanted us to be a family after finding out that I was pregnant, and because I love you, but you are making it so hard for me to stay here.” I watch his reaction, and I can see the emotions raging in his eyes. “I am going to make this real easy for you, Luke. You either tell me the truth, or I walk.” I let the words hang in the air between us. The ball is in his court. I can do nothing more. Either he is honest with me, or he loses me.
“Charlie, there is nothing going on.”
“Pfft, really? So those two guys were just chasing me for a bit of fun, were they? Not to mention that you were talking to Andi and Deana, my boss, yesterday down the road?” His eyes widen, and I know that I have caught him off guard. “And as for your offices, imagine my surprise when I went there today and saw that it was actually a very nice house, in a very nice area. Weird really, considering that you are meant to be working in construction.” I have now realised that Luke clearly doesn’t work in construction. There is no way that a construction job could be conducted in the house that I saw today. And there is no way that a construction job would make him so secretive.
“I have always worked there, Charlie. You know that.”
“I am fully aware of what you have always told me.”
“Is my word not good enough?” he questions. He looks guilty. He is trying to side-step, but it won’t work this time.
“No, not anymore it isn’t.” He goes to walk towards me, but I hold my hands up in front of me to stop him. “Don’t,” I say, warning lacing my tone.
“I can explain,” he says, panicked.
“Go on then.” I move and take a seat at the kitchen table. “We’ve got all night, so please, take your time.” The sarcasm drips from my tone, but I don’t feel bad about it. I’m sick of being made to feel stupid, and I am sick of being lied to.
Luke takes a shaky breath and sits opposite me. I keep my gaze fixed on him. “Before you start, I will just say one more thing. If you don’t tell me the whole truth, right now, then there will be no going back for us. There will be no wedding, and there will be no more chances. This is it, Luke. I can’t keep going through this.” He nods his head at me, and I sit back in the chair, waiting for him to speak.
“What I am about to tell you can go no further than this room. You can’t tell Tori, your mum and dad, nobody.”
“Okay.”
“I mean it, Charlie. You have to swear that you can keep this information to yourself. If you don’t then my ass is on the line.” His tone is serious. My heartbeat speeds up a little at the ferocity with which he says the words.
“I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Luke takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Time seems to drag, but once he starts speaking, I gasp. Never in a million years did I expect him to say anything like this.
“I don’t work for a construction company, and I never have done. Charlie, I work for a company that cleans up other people’s messes. The construction company has always been a cover-up.” He stops and assesses my reaction. I remain quiet, my lips shut tightly together. “By other people’s messes, I don’t just mean a bit of debt here or a falling out there. The people I work for are powerful. So powerful that they would kill me just for telling you this information, and my existence would be erased.” It takes me a few moments to be able to speak.
“What do you mean by ‘messes?’”
“I can’t go into too much detail for obvious reasons. If they were to know that you know what I do, then you would be a target. A very vulnerable target.”
“A target? I already seem to be some sort of fucking target, don’t you think?” I retort.
“I guess so.” He sounds defeated, and his easy admission shocks me. After all of the defending he has done of late, I guess I expected him to tell me that I was being daft for thinking of myself as a target. “I’m so sorry, Charlie, I have wanted to tell you the truth for so long.”
“Oh my God.” My hand comes up to cover my mouth, and my stomach starts to twist making me feel sick. “So, all this time, the whole ten years we have been together, you have been lying to me?” I watch him as he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths.
“Yes, but with good reason.” He reaches for my other hand which is led in my lap. He takes it in both of his hands and his eyes meet mine. “I only lied to keep you safe. If I could have told you the truth years ago, then I would have.”
“And they will kill you if they find out that you told me?” I ask, needing him to confirm what he said a few moments ago.
“Yes.” I don’t like the look in his eyes. He looks almost frightened, but he would never admit that.
“These people that you work for, how powerful are they really?”
“Let’s just say, run the country powerful and leave it at that.” I gasp. Luke’s grip tightens on my hand. “Please don’t ask me anymore, Charlie. What I have told you is already too much. I don’t want them to ever be able to get any information out of you.” I see him gulp and I can see his eyes glaze over as he continues to speak. “I love you, and I would do anything for you. I have hated having to lie to you for all of these years, but I wouldn’t have done it without good reason.” I nod at him, showing him that I have understood what he is saying. “Just, now that you know, please don’t leave me.”
My heart thumps against my chest. Oh God. Do I stay? Do I go? The answer lays with me. I knew that Luke wasn’t having an affair, but I never expected anything like this to be his secret. Can I trust someone that has kept this kind of thing hidden in all of the time that I have known him?
“I know that you asked me not to ask anything else, but there are a couple of things I do need to know the answer to.”
