“Your parents aren’t involved.”
“I beg to differ. So, what’s it going to be, Luke? Telling me the truth, or the end of our relationship?”
Chapter Twenty-One
THREE MONTHS LATER
I stand on the door step to Luke’s house, and I am petrified. I haven’t seen him since the day that I moved out. I haven’t spoken to him since then either. I refused to answer his phone calls, and I refused to see him when he pestered my family and friends. I have stuck my ground. I will never forget the hurt he caused me on the day that I gave him the ultimatum. When he chose to keep his secret, it felt like my world was ending…
“I beg to differ. So, what’s it going to be, Luke? Telling me the truth, or the end of our relationship?”
“Charlie,” Luke said as his jaw ticked and his hands reached out to touch me. I made myself step back and I kept my eyes on his. I knew with the way in which he said my name, and with the way in which his eyes glazed over that he had made his choice. He didn’t need to spell the words out for me. I let a lonely tear run down my cheek as I turned on my heel and made my way from the bedroom.
“Goodbye, Luke,” I said without turning back around to look at him. I moved robotically as I walked into the hallway and saw the smashed glass of the window on the floor. I didn’t even falter as I walked by the mess and made my way down the stairs, and out of Luke’s life for good.
The memory leaves me saddened all over again, although the sad feeling hasn’t left me since that day. It has taken me a lot of courage to come here to speak to Luke. I take a few deep breaths and I reach my hand up, ready to knock on the door, when it opens unexpectedly. I jump from the surprise and am faced with a wide-eyed Luke.
“Charlie?” he says, the surprise evident in his voice. I feel a lump settle in my throat at the sound of his voice. I gulp it down as I drink in the sight of him. He is wearing a pair of loose-fitting jeans and a T-shirt. A T-shirt that I used to use as a pyjama top.
“Hi,” I say, my voice sounding so quiet that I am unsure if he has heard me at first. I let my eyes connect with his. The tension between us is overwhelming. Tension from the situation that we have found ourselves in, and tension in the sexual sense. No matter what has happened between us, my body still responds to him as it always has. My pussy still stirs for him. I give my head a little shake as I don’t need my mind wandering off of what I came here to do.
“Can I come in?” I ask, feeling weird that this is the first time I have ever had to ask him that question.
“Sure,” he says as he moves aside and gestures for me to go in.
“Thanks,” I reply as I walk past him and stop awkwardly in the hallway.
“Can I get you a drink?” Luke asks as he shuts the front door. I catch a whiff of his scent and I fight the urge to let out a small moan. He always smelt so good.
“No, I’m fine, thank you. I… I just needed to speak to you, if that’s okay?” I can’t mask how nervous I am feeling right now.
“Of course it’s okay. Want to go through to the lounge?”
“Okay.”
The conversation between us is stilted, something that it never has been before. I feel uncomfortable, and I don’t like that I am feeling like that. Luke moves, and I follow him to the lounge. He sits on the sofa, and I sit opposite him in the chair, perching on the edge. I place my handbag by my feet and then I place my hands in my lap.
“So, how have you been?” Luke asks me.
“Not great, but that’s to be expected, isn’t it?” I say as I allow myself to look at him. He nods at me, and it is only now––in the light of the lounge––that I can see the bags under his eyes. Bags that I know are mirrored on my face. He has stubble that must be a few days old, and I let myself think to all of the times that I have let my palm rub against that stubble. Stop it, Charlie. You need to speak to him and thinking about old times isn’t going to help you. Before I tell him the reason for my visit, I feel that it is only fair that I ask how he is. “How have things been for you?”
“Fucking awful.” His answer is immediate. I can see that he is hurting, but I am too. I need to look after my broken heart above all else. The room goes silent, and I search my brain for how best to break my news to him, but then he speaks again, allowing me a little more time to muster up the courage to say what I need to. “Those guys are gone, by the way.”
“Oh.” He is looking to me for an answer, but I am unsure what he expects me to say.
“I wanted to tell you, but you wouldn’t speak to me.”
“I’m sorry that I had to cut off contact, but I knew that if I didn’t then I would have allowed myself to be pulled back in. I didn’t want to be a part of something that scared me,” I reply honestly.
“I never wanted you to be scared.”
“I know,” I reply, a soft smile forming on my lips.
“I’m sorry for everything.”
“You know what, it’s done, and it can’t be changed. I think we just need to move past it now.” I don’t want to dwell on the past any longer. There are more important matters that I need to discuss with him. I don’t even want to know what happened to Ricardo and Gavin. I don’t think knowing will make me feel any better.
“Okay,” Luke says, his shoulders relaxing a little. “So, how was your birthday?” he asks, throwing me off of my game plan again. Oh who are you kidding, Charlie, you never had a game plan.
