I cry as he puts a cover over me.
I cry as he lays beside me, holding me, letting me have this moment to weep for all that I have lost.
I said that I would give myself tonight.
I promised that tomorrow would be a new day.
And I let the darkness cloak me as I sob for the Lucy that I desperately miss.
Chapter Thirty
The Watchman
Cal
Watching her weep kills me.
Watching her pain obliterates me.
Watching her grieve shatters me.
I held her until she passed out from the tears, from the exhaustion that continues to play havoc with her mind and her soul.
I hate feeling so helpless.
I hate that I didn’t try harder to get her away from him.
I hate that it took me so long to admit my love for her.
I left to go travelling when she was with Tom, and I came back to find that she was suffering a different kind of horror altogether. Tom was a douche, but Michael is the devil.
How could any man put their hands on a woman? Hurt them. Make them bleed. Turn them into someone that is so scared for their life, but at the same time make them too scared to leave.
I don’t understand it.
I never want to understand it.
There is a difference between loving someone fearlessly and loving someone dangerously.
Fuck.
I sit up and run my hands through my hair, desperate to know how to help Lucy.
But I already know that I can’t help her until she has helped herself.
Her road to recovery isn’t going to be an easy one.
She thinks that she’s weak, a coward, broken, but she couldn’t be further from the truth.
She’s courageous, brave and strong.
I won’t run from her again.
I’ll be by her side until she decides that she doesn’t want me here any longer. I hope she never decides that, but I will always respect her wishes.
I love her, always have.
Now, I just have to show her that I am worthy of her loving me back, in the same way that I adore her.
