Page 20 of Loss
“Okay. I’ve got a possible solution. I’m just not sure if either one of you are gonna like it. I’m pretty sure you will, but the other half is a wild card and I’m not sure they’ll go for it,” Slim says making my heart rate skyrocket as my breath stalls in my chest and a fine layer of sweat coats my back and face. I know exactly what Slim is gonna suggest before he even says the words. “I’ll talk to Annabell and see if she’d be willin’ to move down there for a while to help you. She can work at Hound’s and help with the paperwork and office shit there. When she’s not workin’ you can have her go through the paperwork for the clubhouse. You know what she can and can’t see. This only happens if she’ll agree to it. I’m not gonna force my daughter to do anythin’ she’s not comfortable doin’.”
“Okay,” I say, my voice coming out hoarse from the sudden dryness of my mouth. “What can we do if she doesn’t want to move down here?”
“We’ll figure somethin’ out. It won’t be much longer and the boys will be ready to come down and join you. They’ll help take some of the weight off your shoulders so you won’t have to spend hours doin’ all the shit you’ve been doin’, Vault. We will get a solution to this problem. I’ll be in touch later today or tomorrow with an answer for you,” he says before hanging up the phone on me. It’s Slim’s way and I can’t help but laugh at him because he’s never gonna change.
Setting my phone down on the desk in front of me, I once again lean back in my chair and try to keep every image and thought of Annabell out of my head. It’s hard as fuck and there isn’t a day that goes by when I’m not thinking about her. Wondering what she’s doing, how she’s been since the last time I saw her, and if she’s found her happily ever after yet. I hate that she might have found a man to spend her life with who isn’t me. Yes, I know I ruined anything we could’ve had between us. I fully accept that shit and live with it daily. And I will always want my sweet Angel to be happy and healthy. Instead I find myself wondering if I can get through to her and try to start repairing our relationship while she’s here in Pine View. Instead of dreading seeing her, thoughts start forming in my mind about all the ways I can apologize and make it up to her. To get us back where we need to be so I can finally hold my Angel in my arms once again.
Chapter Twelve
Annabell
LIFE HAS BECOME pure routine for me on a daily basis over the last five years. I get up, work wherever Slim and the club needs me, come home to eat dinner, and then read while music or a movie plays in the background. I no longer live with Slim, Shy, and the girls. It took me forever, but I finally convinced my parents to let me have an apartment of my own. After choosing one that Slim thought was close enough to them and safe enough with the various other tenants, Fox went through and went beyond what is necessary for the security. I’ve got all brand-new locks on the door and windows, cameras all over the place, my balcony has some kind of electrical current that will go through anyone trying to climb over the railing of it. And anything else that Slim and Fox thought I needed to protect me, I got it installed. The landlord, an overweight asshole, didn’t even put up a fight because Slim scares the shit out of him. That’s the only reason I know he’ll leave me alone and won’t harass me like the rest of the women who live in the complex.
Hunter comes to see me every single day. He’s been there for me when I needed him the most. I know he still wishes things were different between the two of us, I can’t take that step with him. It’s not fair to him when I still think of Vault daily and wonder what his life is like now. Still, Hunter has been there for me every step of the way since I left for college and didn’t see Vault and Valor off when they left Benton Falls for the last time. Hunter talked to me on the phone every single day and listened to me cry because I should’ve told them goodbye. When I started dating my first boyfriend, Hunter was there and gave me advice even though I know it’s the last thing he wanted to do. Especially when I lost my virginity and didn’t handle things well afterward.
These days, Hunter is sexy as fuck and one of the best men I’ll ever have in my life. Over the years, he’s worked out daily along with the rest of his duties for the club. He’s got more muscles than I ever thought he’d gain because his newest obsession is body building and competing locally. Women are always all over him and have no problem pushing me out of the way to get closer to him. Those women quickly find out that I will always come first with him and they’re immediately dismissed and he never talks to them again. It’s funny as fuck to watch them continue to glare at me as they walk away like the man they wanted to fuck didn’t just reject them in a brutal way. They’ll never fucking learn and that’s what makes it so fucking funny to me.
Shy and I talk every single day. She checks in with me and makes sure I don’t need anything. When she goes out shopping, I always get a visit from her and the girls as she brings me things I want or need but won’t tell her about. Slim comes over and he always manages to find something to fix in the apartment. By now, it’s an entirely new space with everything he’s done for me. Hunter is usually the one to help him out because he’s usually here when my parents and sisters visit. Slim is sure that we’re together and has talked to each of us, but there’s nothing for him to find out because we’re not together. Hunter and I are like brother and sister. That’s how our relationship has developed over the years and I won’t ever do anything to lose that with him.
Playboy also comes and spends time with me at the apartment. I still rarely go to the clubhouse because of my need to stay away from all the memories I have with Vault there. My brother and sister-in-law come over a few times a week to hang out with me. I play with the kids and have enjoyed watching them grow up over the last five years. By now, they’re ready to start Prospecting and it won’t be long before they all leave us behind and start their lives over in Pine View with Vault and Valor. Sam and I spend our time talking about the books we’ve been reading and looking for new authors that we haven’t tried yet. Playboy usually comes in and takes over the living room so he can watch whatever game is on. He tells us he’s not able to watch them at the clubhouse because of everyone around and no one agreeing to watch the same game or some stupid shit like that. It’s not like he doesn’t have a house on the compound to go watch anything he wants at.
Once a week for the last five years, I go visit Hound’s grave and take him fresh flowers. I spend an hour or more with him and just talk about life and how much I miss his son. That’s the only place I ever mention Vault’s name out loud and it’s only when I’m by myself. Hunter and Shy have gone with me a few times and those are the days I don’t stay for long or talk to Hound as I normally do. When I do talk to Hound, I let him know how much we all miss him and that we think of him daily. I tell him about how much I want things to be different with Vault and that’s the reason my one and only relationship failed. One night I accidentally called my ex Vault and he lost his shit on me. Hound knows all about it because I came here and cried on his grave after Hunter got me cleaned up and made sure that no one knew what happened to me. It’s a secret we still keep to ourselves to this day and Hound is the only one I’ve shared it with. He knows all of my secrets and I’m okay with that. He might not be alive and with us any longer, but he sure as fuck is in our hearts and that’s where he’ll remain for the rest of our lives.
When I was in college, I met a man named Dominic. He was a little too pretty for me, but he seemed really nice and was always going out of his way to help me, get me coffee, and a million other small things to make my days easier. We had a few classes together and he always wanted to be in my group for projects we were required to work with others on. Over time, he finally managed to wear me down and I agreed to go on a date with him. At first everything was casual and we kept it light and easy. When that wasn’t enough for Dominic any longer, I tried to end things, but he refused to let me go. I should’ve called Slim right then, but I didn’t. Instead, I thought I could handle the situation on my own. When I accidentally called Dominic Vault, he lost his mind and told me he knew all about the piece of shit I was in love with. I was beaten so badly and could do nothing to protect myself. If there’s one thing I can say about Dominic, it’s that he lit a fire under my ass and I decided to take a stand and make sure I’d never be in that situation again.
The second Dominic left me alone in a bloody mess on the floor of my apartment, I pulled myself up enough to crawl to my phone. Knowing my dad and brother would lose their shit if I called one of them, the only option I had was to call Hunter. He didn’t hesitate to drive to my college, clean me up, pack what I needed to take with me that night, and brought me back to Benton Falls. I stayed in his apartment with him until I healed completely and then started showing my face around my family again. When Hunter went to get my things from the apartment, he told me that Dominic was removed from the college because after beating the fuck out of me, he ended up putting two guys and another girl in the hospital with the rage that exploded from him. Still, I didn’t go back to campus and finished my degree online. I only went back to graduate with my class for Slim, Shy, and the rest of my family. Hunter didn’t leave my side the entire time because he knew I was scared to be there.
Shaking my head, I clear the thoughts away and focus on the paperwork in front of me. Slim has me going through all the shit in his office and putting what I can into the new programs on his computer before shredding the physical copy of the information. Fox is upgrading everything as a way to keep his mind off of the boys getting older and preparing to Prospect before leaving their family behind to join Vault and Valor. Plus, he’s working with Kingston and teaching his son everything he knows about computers and what they can use them for in the club. I think Kingston is also teaching his dad a new thing or two as they work side-by-side. It’s funny as hell to watch them together. Especially when they start arguing and none of us know what the hell they’re talking about.
As I work on the last papers in one of the files, there’s a knock on my door. No one ever comes to visit me without giving me a head’s up. I’m instantly alert as I make my way cautiously toward the door and look through the peephole to find my dad standing there. He’s leaning against the door frame with his eyes pointed at his feet. Something heavy is weighing on his mind. Unlocking all the locks to keep me safe from anyone breaking in, I open the door and look at my dad.
“Baby Girl, I have to talk to you about somethin’,” he says, looking up at me with a determined look. I know this look and have seen it many times in the past when he knows someone is going to give him a hard time about something.
“Okay. What’s going on?” I ask him, backing up and letting him in the apartment.
I go back to my seat at the table where the paperwork is spread out and put the ones I just finished back in the file to stack it on top of the other ones I’ve already completed.
“You’ve gotten all of this done already?” he questions me, raising his brow as he takes a seat next to me.
“Yeah. It’s all I’ve been working on lately. I think I’ll have the rest of it done in the next two days,” I answer my dad as he relaxes back in his chair and looks at me.
“I got a call last night from Vault. He’s in a bind, Annabell. The entire time they’ve been in Pine View, he’s never once called me or anyone else for help. Now, he needs it. He’s drownin’ and is worried that he’s gonna spiral outta control. None of us wanna see that shit from him again,” my dad begins, watching me closely to see how I react to this news as my breathing picks up and I try to keep the emotions from my face. “They’ve got some shit goin’ on and he really needs someone to help him. Would you be willin’ to head there and help the club out? Work in the garage he started to honor Hound? I’m not sayin’ you gotta move there permanently. But maybe for a while so you can help them out and decide what you want to do from there.”
I sit in silence for several minutes, trying to wrap my head around what my dad is asking of me. He’d never willingly put me in a situation I don’t want to be in. My dad would go above and beyond to protect me and he’s done that exact thing many times over the years since I was rescued by him and the club. A large part of me wants to see Vault and try to determine if I’ll be able to get over him once and for all. Over the last five years, he’s on my mind every single day and nothing I do works to push him away. At this point, I’ve given up the hope of finding a man I can be with who will love me and I’ll be able to love in return. Hunter thinks I’m being stupid for feeling that way, but he also knows I haven’t gotten over Vault.
“You promise me that I can come home when I’m done?” I question my dad as he looks around the apartment and I know he’s trying to find something else to fix as usual.
“I promise you that you will not have to stay there for longer than you’re comfortable with, Baby Girl. If you get there and want to turn right around and come home, you can do that. I already told Vault that I wasn’t even sure if you’d go for the idea and the decision is yours to make. I’m not gonna tell you what to do or how you should play this,” he states, looking at me with a soft look only a few of us ever get to see from him. “What I will say is that I know you’re still strugglin’ with Vault and what you feel for him. Maybe you should take a few days to think about what you can handle before makin’ a final decision. Because I know that the two of you have some shit to work through and if you go down there, I want you to work through it. Vault is a good man and has finally found his path in life without spiralin’ out of control. He’s done really good things and I know he misses you even if he says nothin’ to anyone. It’s written all over your face how much you miss him, Annabell. That’s all I’m gonna say about the situation.”
I nod at my dad as he stands from his seat and leans down to press a kiss against the top of my head. Leaning into him, I take a minute to soak up his strength and let it wash over me. His request has truly thrown me for a loop and I don’t know if I should go down to Pine View or not. I have a feeling that if I do, a lot of shit from the past will be brought forward and I don’t know that I’m strong enough to deal with it right now.
“I’ll let you know by tomorrow,” I tell my dad as I get up and walk him to the door. “When I come to talk to you, I’ll bring the completed files back so you and Fox can take care of them. He can see what I’ve done on the computer so if you have any questions, let him know and he’ll walk you through it.”
“Okay. I love you, Annabell.”
“I love you too, Dad,” I respond, watching him leave my apartment before I close the door and lock it back up.
Taking my seat once again, I force myself to get back to work on the files while thoughts of Vault and seeing him again fill my mind and play on a loop. I need to talk to Hunter and see what he thinks about this situation before I make any final decisions. And maybe Shy. She knows all about how I feel and how bad I miss Vault. I won’t talk to Savannah about the situation because she’s got her own issues going on with Valor leaving. I’m not sure what the hell happened between the two of them, but my friend hasn’t been herself since he left Benton Falls.
