Page 19 of Trash Talk
“We’re meeting a friend,” I don’t know her, and I’m damn sure not going to spill my private business to a complete stranger. Heck, I just came clean to Poppy not fifteen minutes ago and we’ve been friends for years.
“Yeah. My friend and I were supposed to be having a girl’s night. But I guess when your hot boyfriend hits you up for semi-public bar sex, you just can’t pass it up.” God, I could have a hot boyfriend, and we could be having semi-public bar sex right now if I wasn’t such a coward. Whoever her friend is, I’m super freakin’ jealous of her. Suddenly the urge to urinate hits me hard. I excuse myself and head to the restroom. Pop stays to save our seats.
As I’m coming out, I practically run into someone. Someone very tall, with a broad chest and tattoos covering his left arm who smells like minty grass. My eyes drink him in. His hair’s still on the short side (to be honest I miss his long locks; I loved pulling them), but he’s still as handsome as ever if not a little tired looking. His large warm hands are still holding my arms, where he put them to steady me. We’re just staring at each other not saying a word until someone bumps into him from behind. Someone who must have been in the office with him. I peer around his arm and almost swallow my tongue. I know my eyes are saucers.
“Babe, why are you just standing in the middle of the hallway? I about stubbed my dang toe on the back of your boots. Were you comin’ back for seconds?” Her saucy exaggerated southern twang grates on my nerves. Babe? Seconds? I see the moment her words reach his ears and shame washes over his face. I cannot believe he got back with Brittany Lennard. What in the actual fuck?
“Knox? Oh, I didn’t realize,” her eyes meet mine and a look of triumph washes over her gorgeous features. Unless that bra is stuffed with cutlets, she’s even faker than the last time I saw her. “Oh my gosh, it’s your little neighbor friend. Roxy, right?” This bitch. She knows exactly what my fucking name is.
“Ruby,” Knox manages to husk out an answer to her question. “What are you doing here?” Well, if that isn’t a loaded question. And one I have no intention of answering honestly in front of Brit.
“Came in with Poppy for a drink. Depot’s just about the only place in town to get one.” That’s a total lie. I could get a drink at any restaurant in town or at the Alexander’s tasting room. There’s also a biker bar. Although, I’m a little too afraid to set foot in that place. I’ve heard some stories. I came here to see Knox. He has to know. I shake his hands off my arms, “I’m gonna get back to it, if you don’t mind.” God, I want to die. I’m too late. He’s moved on. And with Brittany Freakin’ Lennard of all people.
I sit back in my seat beside Pop and drain my drink while signaling to Jemma for another.
“The plan was two drinks, Rubes. What happened back there?” Poppy whispers to me.
“I need at least four tonight. Don’t turn around, but,” I don’t finish what I’m saying because that sk?la is next to me again. I can hear her talking to someone.
“We can get out of here, now. I got what I came for.”
It’s my nosy seatmate to the left, “but Brit, I haven’t finished my drink or paid my tab. We’re supposed to have girl’s night and you haven’t even had one drink.” I’m listening intently to their conversation. Who’s the nosy seatmate now?
“Don’t worry about your tab. Knox’ll cover it, won’t you, baby?” She lowers her voice, but her next words still manage to greet my ears with the force of a hurricane. “And I can’t drink. I didn’t come for that. I came because my hormones are making me crazy, and I just couldn’t wait for him to get home.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Yes, girl!”
“Oh my gosh! I’m so happy for y'all!” her friend gushes.
“Thanks, I’m happy too. Knox is going to be the best daddy. Now, let’s get out of here. We’ve got wine at the house you can have. We can put on a movie and have girl’s night in.”
I don’t wait for her reply. I couldn’t hear it right now, anyway. There’s a weird whooshing sound in my ears and a fairy gymnast in my tummy that’s busy perfecting her floor routine. I might vomit all over this bar or burst into tears or both. I can’t breathe. Poppy grabs ahold of my arm, and whispers something in my ear about leaving. I’m too stunned. I can’t move. She tugs me, “come on Rubes.” My eyes go to the full glass in front of me. I need that lime green shit in my life. Hard. I chug but before the numbness can hit me, a set of beautiful brown eyes lock on mine. Sad, regretful eyes that sear my soul. How could he? I mean, he had to know I just wasn’t ready yet. I was scared. He had to have known it wouldn’t take me long to come to my senses. He knows me. But he told me he was done waiting. And I stupidly didn’t ask him to. But how could he get back with that hussy?
“I called us a cab, it’ll be here in a few minutes,” Poppy’s still gripping my arm tight, and I let her pull me away, but I can’t tear my eyes away from Knox. What did he do?
She props me up against the side of the old brick building. It’s been here forever. The bricks were reclaimed from the old train depot that was torn down sometime in the mid-thirties, long after the passenger line stopped running through town— that’s how the bar got its name. Gramps thought it was clever. There are still some grass-covered track segments around town and an old trestle bridge over Moccasin Creek that everyone says is haunted. I don’t believe in ghosts, but it didn’t stop us girls from driving out there and parking on the tracks every Halloween at midnight when we were teens. It was a rush, but after waiting for half an hour, with nothing happening, we’d get bored, head home and camp out in the living room to watch scary movies while gorging on chocolate. Simpler times. I miss them.
Poppy’s doing an adult version of the pee-pee dance and I feel bad, so I tell her to go. “I’ll only be like two secs; are you gonna be okay?” I nod. “You sure?” I nod again. I don’t know how much longer she can hold it, and I couldn’t even move right now if I tried. “I’ll be right back, don’t leave without me.” She dashes back inside and leaves me to my thoughts. But I’m not alone for long. His scent hits me before I see him.
“Ruby. I don’t know what to say. I fucked up. Bad.” He’s standing so close. But he’s not touching me. “Please, say something.”
“Congratulations.” I meet his eyes just in time to see him wince.
“I didn’t plan this. You told me you just wanted to be friends. I was heartbroken, Ruby. And I started drinking. A lot. Spring Break was a couple weeks later. Campus was a ghost town; I didn’t want to be alone. Gramps convinced me I’d be better off coming home for a few days. God, Ruby. You have no idea what I went through.”
Oh, but I did. I was heartbroken too. Still am. Even more so this second. This is it. There’s no chance of us getting back together now.
“I went to a party; I was already three sheets when I bumped into Brit. We started talking and taking shots and the next thing you know we were both wasted and I kind of blacked out. I woke up the next day hungover as fuck and Brit was next to me in bed. I got your text an hour later. I would never have touched her if I thought you…” he gulps in air.
“Oh, so getting your ex-girlfriend pregnant is somehow my fault?” I bite hard on my lip to stop the sob from coming out. Because as angry as I am with him right now; I am also so fucking sad.
“No. That’s not what I meant. I just wasn’t in my right mind. We weren’t together anymore, but when you finally messaged me, I felt like I’d betrayed you. It was too late.”
“It wasn’t too late, Knox.” I swallow back the lump in my throat. “So, y’all are together now? Just because she’s pregnant, doesn’t mean you have to be with her. Y’all made a mistake. Don’t make another one. I know you don’t love her.” I’m begging now. Not well. I don’t do it often enough to have perfected the skill.
“I did make a mistake, a stupid, drunken mistake, but I want to be in my kid’s life. She told me she’d cut me off if I didn’t marry her. I owe it to her, to both of them to give this a real shot.”
