Emma comes through the front door before I can change us both out of our messy clothes. She gives a dramatic sniff of the air.
"Something smells delicious in here," she says.
"We made cookies!" Cora yells and meets her as she comes in. Emma sets down her makeup case to scoop the little girl in her arms.
She looks at me over her daughter's head, "You okay?"
She knows that my baking binges mean I’m having processing issues with my emotions.
I nod, "Getting better."
"Good." She sets Cora back down. "You need to go change out of these clothes, baby girl. There is flour everywhere, and I see some chocolate smears on those pant legs."
Cora runs down the hallway to do as her mom asks, and Emma turns to me.
"Thank you so much for today. I'm glad I didn't have to take her to my mom's or daycare. It looks like the two of you had fun."
"She's adorable, and we had a blast. Anytime I can help out, I will."
"I'm going to hold you to that. Especially soon."
"What do you mean?" I ask her. My stomach has already dropped, sensing what she's about to say.
"I'm pregnant. Three months along now," she tells me.
I keep my face blank while I absorb this. All these years later, it doesn't feel like this should hurt anymore. But it does. It hurts so bad knowing I lost out on so much with my child.
I give Emma a brittle smile, and I open my arms for a hug.
"I'm sorry." she starts, but I stop her.
"Do not apologize to me. I'm so happy for you, Matt, and Cora. Your family is beautiful and thriving. Congratulations.”
"Thank you, but I do worry. You've had a lot of knocks lately. I don’t want to pile on top of it."
I pull away and look her in her face, "Is that why you didn't tell me sooner?"
"Not just that. You know it's best to wait until after the first trimester."
"Maybe announce it to distant family members and acquaintances, but not your best friend. I'm sorry that you felt you had to hide it from me. I love you and will support you in every way."
She pulls me back in for another hug, "I know. I love you, too. Are you staying for dinner now that you’ve stuffed my kid full of sweets?"
"Sorry, bestie. It's time for me to confront my issues head-on. And that hurricane of a child is all yours now. What are aunties for?"
I collect my things, give Cora the biggest hug and kiss, and leave to face the men I've been avoiding for days.
Chapter 28
When I walk through the garage door and into the kitchen, I’m almost shocked that no one is there waiting for me. Not that I expect them to be puppies, wagging their tails and ready to jump on me because I came home, but I expected…something. With all the cameras and security notifications, I know someone knows I'm here. I can't decide if I'm relieved or disappointed.
I look around the empty kitchen. It’s clean, and everything is precisely as it was when I left three days ago. I want it to look different because I feel different standing here. I remember being so happy here while cooking with Foster, throwing food together for Talon, and sharing kisses with Cole after realizing our relationship wasn’t doomed. Instead of that, I'm full of hurt and never-ending sadness.
"Hello," I call out, and my voice echoes back to me. Truly, no one is home. I take out my phone and check for messages. After not answering for days, they’ve stopped sending them.
Have they given up on me so quickly?
I drop my phone on the counter and my duffel bag on the floor. I don't have the energy to climb the stairs, especially when I’m not sure I’m staying. Instead, I go into the fridge, grateful it's always well stocked. I grab a beer in each hand. I pop the top and drink the first completely while standing there. I grimace. The flavor is not my favorite, but I'm not drinking for enjoyment right now.
