Page 32 of Find Me Under the Stars
“Thank you,” I say genuinely and spin the gift bag in my hand. “Should we go in?”
Laura nods and hooks her arm in mine. “Are you going to be okay in there?”
Nope.
But I lie.
Again.
“Yeah. It’ll be awkward for sure. But I think I’ll be okay. I probably won’t stay for very long. I’m exhausted,” I tell her.
“You showed up, and I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to be around him right now either. But you still did it, and that matters, no matter how long you stay,” she says, doing her best to ease my anxiety about the whole situation.
“Yeah…” I trail off as we make our way to the rink.
The music is the first thing I notice, as well as the bright pink carpet leading to the large black carpets that cover the ice from blue line to blue line.
The rink is packed and practically glowing pink from everyone’s outfits.
I want to turn around and run and not look back until I’m in my house and under my comforter, blocking out the world.
Is seeing Reed ever going to be anything less than agonizing? He hasn’t seen me yet as we walk across the pink carpet toward the party. He looks good—so good. And he’s smiling at something Brett said.
I can’t tear my gaze away from him, and while he’s happy and chatting, I don’t want to. Even if this building was burning to the ground, I couldn’t look away from him. Seeing him like that is all I want. Part of me starts to pretend everything is fine and I’m walking over to my boyfriend. But I quickly shut that fantasy down.
I’m going to ruin that happiness—I know it. The second he sees me, his smile will drop, and his demeanor will turn cold.
Brett looks at me and mumbles something to Reed, who doesn’t hesitate to turn my way. The second his eyes land on mine, my body freezes and stops in place.
Any ounce of joy that was pulsing through his body moments ago is instantly replaced by the most intense hurt. All because he looked at me. My eyes drop to the floor, unable to watch his walls go up right in front of me.
Maybe I can’t do this. It’s too much.
I love him—I fucking love him—and he hates me to the core right now. That hatred is more damaging to my soul than anything else in the world.
“Char?” Laura whispers, her arm still locked in mine.
I didn’t even realize she had stopped with me. My body is quivering and starting to shake as her fingers brush the back of my hand. My eyes well with tears, and my throat burns like I swallowed embers.
Someone speaks through the mic, and I immediately recognize Reed’s mom, Anna’s, voice. “Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for coming out to celebrate Abby’s birthday! We are going to kick tonight off with dinner, dessert, and then our birthday girl’s favorite part—presents and mingling!” She laughs. “Please feel free to find any seat available at the tables, and dinner will be served in just a few minutes.”
“Can I sit with you guys?” I instantly ask Laura.
“Yeah, of course. We already claimed a spot over here. Come on,” she tells me and walks us over to a table.
I sit down in the chair right next to hers. I feel so aware of everything happening around me; it’s overstimulating. As long as Reed doesn’t sit over here, we’ll be fine.
The round table seats six. Alec. Jack. Laura. Me.
I catch flowing pink hair in my peripheral vision right as Morgan sits down in the chair to my right. “Charlotte, it’s so good to see you!”
“You too! You look amazing!” I tell her genuinely.
Clearly, I’m not the only one that thinks so because Cam can’t take his eyes off of her as he walks over and sits down in the last unclaimed free chair.
“Hi, Char!” Jack sings as he wraps his arms around the chair and me.
Grabbing his clasped hands, I say, “Hi, bud! Missed you!”
