Page 57 of Bachelor
I wasn’t ready. Not entirely.
I hauled my suitcase into the back of Jessica’s car and breathlessly motioned for her to bring her bag over.
“What the hell did we pack?” she grunted as we lifted her suitcase into the trunk, the entire car trembling.
“I have no idea. I can’t even remember what I put in my own suitcase.”
“Is it weird to say I’m looking forward to going back to campus?”
“No,” I breathed, giving her a knowing smile. “This weekend didn’t exactly go as planned.”
She gave me a playful look but saved her laugh for once we were snug in the car and buckled in. She peeled out of the parking lot, waving at the shuttle bus taking the rest of the students and professors who hadn’t driven themselves as we passed them.
“It’s been over a day,” she said, eyeing me before turning back to the road. “Are we gonna talk about what happened now?”
“There’s not much to say.”
“Oh, really? Because I’m pretty sure Tyler and I nearly walked in on you and Rhys having sex.”
“You didn’t almost walk in. The door was locked.”
She pursed her lips. “Whitney, come on. What’s going on with you two?”
“Exactly what it looks like.”
“Uh, a confusing mess?”
“Yep.” I slouched in my seat and hugged myself. “What’s it like for you and Bill?”
“What do you mean?”
“What’s it like getting to just... date? To walk around town together and go out to eat without having to pretend like you barely know each other?”
“Well, first of all,” she laughed, “I don’t do PDA. Neither does Bill. Our idea of a romantic night is watching movies in bed and eating pizza rolls.”
I smiled to myself. Jessica’s eyes always lit up when she talked about Bill.
“He won my family over first, which is damn near impossible. Going after a girl with twelve Italian uncles, whether or not they’re actually related to me, is daunting to say the least. No one has ever tried, but he did. He made the effort, and I gave him a shot, and now... Now I’m driving his car.” She laughed again, her red hair trembling around her face. “I love him, you know. I really do. I’d marry him if he asked.”
“Really? It’s only been a few months.”
“I know, isn’t that crazy? I think you just know when you know.” She shrugged and turned the wheel slightly as we took the ramp onto the highway. “And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I’d go to hell and be happy because he’d be there, in hell with me, making me laugh. That’s what I want. Someone to make it through the bad times with. Someone who makes the bad times good.”
My heart suddenly felt so heavy I found it momentarily hard to breathe.
“I think you and Rhys are in the thick of your bad times,” she breathed, glancing at me. “But I don’t think that’s a bad thing.”
“I guess I don’t see how it could get any worse.”
“What are you going to do, Whit?”
I stared out the window, watching the cars speed ahead of us. “I’d do anything to be with him,” I admitted. “It goes against everything I thought I knew about myself. I wanted a career, an education, degrees to hang on my wall until I ran out of space. The more I think about it, the more I think I wanted those things because no one else wanted me to have them. No one else understood why I wanted this. But he does, which makes this even harder.”
“Why would that make it harder?”
“Because he believes in me,” I said under my breath, my eyes locked on the blurred cityscape passing us by as we sped toward campus, toward reality, toward whatever came next for Rhys and me. “I was so mad at him for so long, but I understand why he pushed me away now. He wants me to succeed and focus on the path I laid out for myself and not get in my way, but the thought of not being with him just... sucks. It sucks, Jessica. I don’t know how else to say it. And now we’re in this again, trying to navigate it, trying to figure out how to keep this huge secret that impacts both of our lives and careers if we’re not careful.”
“It’s going to be okay, Whitney,” she said, reaching over and squeezing my thigh. “You’re both smart. I know this can stay a secret until graduation, at least.”
