I shake my head, remembering how happy she had looked when she saw me in that alley.
Even after she'd been hurt.
My heart starts to clench, so hard it hurts, and I clamp my hand over my sternum, sobs starting to wrack from somewhere so deep in my soul, it feels like it's fighting, tearing through flesh and time and bone to come to the surface.
And when it does, it sounds like the wolves howling in the wind.
In the chaos, someone pulls me back to rest against the wall, and they push down on my shoulder anchoring me to the world.
"Let it out, Kingsley. We're here. "
I try to breathe, remembering the sound of her laughter, but all that my brain hears is the sound of her voice, fading into the night as she's said,"Maybe I couldn't take care of myself after all... I thought it was you..."
And her body falling, heavy and lifeless in my arms.
Kiara joins My-Linh on the floor; together, in their evening gowns, pulling my brothers' jackets on the floor, soaking up Luna's lifeblood, softly sobbing.
And then, when they're done, they sit down on the floor next to me, folding the jackets up and put them in my lap.
Hugging the scarlet soaked coats to my chest, I say silent prayers to every god I can think of, praying for the only woman who has ever brought me to my knees.
"Mr. Baxter, Luna has come out of surgery."
The seven of us jump to our feet.
"How is she doing?" I ask, barely recognizing my own voice.
"So, she had a long knife slash from about half way down her ribcage along her side to her back," he points to the extent of thewound on his body. "Luckily, while it was deep, it didn't injure any of her organs and is mostly a flesh wound. She lost a lot of blood, but we have stitched her up for now and she is getting a steady transfusion as well as a very strong dose of antibiotics to wave off infection. We will be watching her closely over the next few hours."
"Does she need more blood?" I shout, rolling up my sleeves. "We're the same blood type. Take mine. Pump it directly from my heart if you have to!"
He gives me an understanding nod. "We will let you know, sir. For now, she needs a lot of rest. She's still sedated, and we're going to keep her that way for a few hours."
"I need to see her. I'm family. Please. She's…everything.."
"Sir."
I square my jaw. "I'm seeing her. Now."
He takes a deep breath and then nods. “Okay. Just you though."
She's so small.
That's the first thing I think when I see her lying there, all bed and blankets and wires and machines.
So small.
Such a tiny little moonray amongst all this mortal weight.
"Can I... touch her?" I whisper to the nurse checking her oxygen tube.
"Very gently. And talk to her. That'll help."
I nod, swallowing, as I stand by the bedside, her little hand laying on top of the blanket, still stained with her own blood.
"Moonshine, it's me. Grumpy-pants, or Bossy Britches, or Mr. Boring. Or chatty guy. Isn't that what you called me that night at Watergate Bay and you didn't think I heard it? I did. I alwayshear you," I whisper. "I'm here. You're going to be fine. Okay? I demand it, and this is one of those times when you're going to listen to me. Because I can't… if you're not going to be okay. So, you're going to take a little nap, and then wake up, and everything is going to be fine. Because I didn't get a chance to woo you like Prince Charming. And there are still so many things we have yet to do. You still owe me my first dance. So, you going to be okay, sweetheart. And that's the only way that I'm going to be okay, too."
And I stand there, listening to the machine tell me that her heart is still beating. And that mine has reason to continue to beat as well.
