Page 98 of The Lies That Shatter
Only the thin layer of his boxers separates us, and I can feel how much he’s enjoying this. Yet, even when I scrape my fingersthrough his hair, moaning against his lips, he doesn’t take things further.
I pull my lips from his, and normally he would continue to kiss along my neck, but this time he just looks at me. I can see the passion reflected in his eyes, yet he’s holding back.
“I’m not going to break, Finley,” I snap, hating the way my lips pull into a pout.
The side of his mouth quirks up, and he lets out a short laugh. “I know that, McKenna. I just… We don’t need to rush. I want you to be sure this is what you want, and you’re not reacting just because I told you I love you.”
I narrow my gaze into a glare. “I’m not spreading my legs for you because you told me you love me, asshole. I’m doing it because I want to. I’ve spent the last month starved of your touch. Yes, it was my own fault, and I know that. My biggest fear this whole time has been that you wouldn’t want me after what he did to me.
“The thought of having sex again for the first time, after what he did, scares the crap out of me. But I don’t want this to be another way he wins. I don’t want him to take something I enjoy very much away from me.
“I’m not even sure Icango all the way with you right now, but I want to at least try. You make me feel safe enough to be vulnerable,” I explain, and as the words fall from my lips, I feel a little lighter.
These fears and worries have been consuming me for weeks, sitting heavy on my chest the more I thought about them. Finally, getting it out in the open with Finn feels almost freeing.
He reaches up with both hands to capture my cheeks, the way he always does when he wants me to keep eye contact with him, but I have no intention of looking away now.
“Sweetheart, I will always want you. Nothing that prick did will ever change that. We can take things as slow or fast as you need, as long as you promise me something,” he replies.
“What?”
“Promise me you will only do whatyouwant to do. Don’t do it for me, or to prove something. If it gets too much, use your safe word. We can take things slow, and only do what you feel comfortable doing.
“If something triggers you, tell me about it, and I’ll make sure not to do it again. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, and I honestly have no idea if I can help you, but the best I can do is listen to you and trust you.
“In return, I need you to promise me that you will put yourself first. If I know I’m not pushing you too much, or doing something you don’t enjoy anymore, that will help me relax. I’m not trying to make this about me, but I don’t want to do something that makes things worse for you, or sets you back in your recovery. So all I ask is that we communicate,” he explains, as his cheeks flush, like he’s embarrassed.
My heart swells and I can’t help but smile. “You’re a good man, Finley Doughty. I know you won’t ever hurt me, but I promise to use my safe words and communicate with you if something is bothering me.
“I know me shutting you out over the last few weeks has been tough on you, and I’m sorry. I didn’t realise how tough things must have been for you until just now. I may have been the one to suffer in that room, but you went through your own kind of torture that day too, and you’ve had nobody here to help you get over it, the way you’ve been helping me.
“I promise to do better, to be better. I love you so fucking much,” I reply, the words just slipping out.
His eyes widen, like he’s genuinely surprised to hear them. “You’re not just saying that because I said it, are you?”
I can’t help but laugh. “No, Finley. I’ve been in love with you since I had my appendix removed. I’m just sorry it’s taken so long to get to a stage where I can tell you!”
He shakes his head, like he can’t quite believe it. “I’m pissed it’s taken us so long to get here, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. I’m here with you now because I’m supposed to be. I’ve been waiting a long time for this, and today is the first day of our forever together.”
Another rogue tear slips down my cheek, but this one is all happiness. My heart fills, bigger and more full than it’s ever before, and I’m so loved, I almost feel like I’m floating.
Finn catches me off guard by flipping me over, so I’m laying on the bed and he’s using his body to cage me in. With slow, torturous movements, he presses lazy kisses all over my skin. He presses his lips against the scars like they’re not even there. They’re just another part of my body, and he loves all of me—scars and all.
As he kisses along my inner thigh, he spreads my legs wider, until he’s settled between them. He looks up at me, his eyes level with my exposed pussy, and his eyes blaze with fire. He looks like a starving man who has just been presented with the most delicious chocolate fudge cake. As he licks his lips, not taking his eyes off my face, a shiver ripples down my spine.
“Can I taste you?” he asks, no longer sounding as nervous as he did before. He still wants to check with me, which I appreciate.
I nod, but as always, he waits for my words. “Please.”
That’s all he needs to hear before he dives in, his tongue swiping the length of my slit in the most delicious way. The heat and wetness startles me, causing me to jump, but his arms wrap around my thighs in such a way that I couldn’t move, even if I wanted to—which I very much fucking don’t.
He licks and sucks frantically, devouring and tasting me as much as he can. He moves with the expert precision of someone who knows my body better than anyone—myself included. He knows exactly when and where to lick, suck, or graze with his teeth, in just the right way, and it doesn’t take long until I’m a quivering mess.
Loud moans fill the room around me as he gently fills me with two fingers, his tongue never leaving my clit as he does. He allows me a moment to adjust to his touch, then he moves them faster. In and out, faster and faster each time, curving them in just the right way that he hits that spot deep inside, making my toes curl.
I squirm around the bed as much as I can whilst being held down with one arm, my back arching as he brings me to the edge. My stomach coils and heat floods my pussy as I moan, desire flowing like fire through my veins.
“Fuck…Finn. I’m…I-I… Can I come?” I beg between breathy moans, as I try desperately to capture some air in between words.
