Page 102 of The Lies That Shatter
I can’t hear any nerves or apprehension in his voice. It’s difficult to tell what he’s thinking. I let out a sigh. “Honestly, I don’t know. Until Kellan mentioned it, I hadn’t even thought about it. I haven’t had a period in months, but that’s not unusual, and I’ve been stressed. Still, we’ve hardly been careful when it comes to contraception, and I’m the first to admit I’m not the best at taking the pill.”
“So we need to do a test?” he asks.
I nod my head, and he surprises me by pulling one out of the drawer in our ensuite. “Why do you have a pregnancy test?”
That cocky smirk of his appears as he shrugs his shoulders innocently. “I knew this would happen one day, so I figured it was best to be prepared.”
I roll my eyes. “I think proper contraception is called being prepared. This is something else entirely,” I joke, and Finn just chuckles.
“You’re seriously not worried by this?” My heart is racing at the thought we might be having a baby.
Finn takes hold of my hand, and I can see there’s not even a slightest bit of doubt on his face. “Not at all. I want a future with you, and this is it.”
The three minutes I have to wait until I can read the results on the pregnancy test are the longest of my life. Finn has to hold me back to stop me from checking it early. But as soon as the timer goes off, we both reach for the test.
“Shall we look together, after three?” I ask, my hand shaking a little as I hold the test upside down.
“Yes. One,” Finn replies, his eyes lighting up as he stares at the test.
“Two,” we say in unison.
“Three.” As soon as the word leaves my lips, I turn the test over.
POSITIVE.
Next to the two blue lines is one word that will change the rest of our lives, and though the thought of being a parent scares the shit out of me, my heart feels fuller than ever.
Finn pulls me into his arms, and it’s not until I feel a drop of wetness that I look up and see a tear trailing down his cheek. His eyes are shimmering, but the bright smile on his face tells me they’re happy tears. He crashes his lips against mine, showing me all the love we will ever need.
Two weeks later, after getting the number of Bree’s private specialist—after swearing her to a vow of secrecy—I’m sitting in a doctor’s office, waiting for our lives to change. We decided to go straight to the private doctor to get a scan. To find out how far along I am, and check that everything is okay. If it is, then we will see a midwife at the local hospital, but until I see there really is a baby on the monitor, it almost doesn’t seem real.
I shuffle around on the small hospital couch, trying and failing to get comfortable. It’s impossible. I’m wearing a hospital gown with the lower half of my body completely on display. My legs are dangling off the edge of the bed, next to a device that looks very similar to a torture instrument, but I think it’s where I put my legs.
The ultrasound machine is on one side of me, while Finn paces nervously on the other. Lately, I’ve been constantlyalternating between wanting to vomit and needing to pee, and the urge to do both is growing the longer we sit here waiting for the doctor.
When the door opens, and a small older woman with long black hair enters, I breathe a sigh of relief. After some brief introductions, she explains how she will do the scan, and why she needs to do it. She will start with an internal scan, and move onto my abdomen if the baby is far enough along.
Finn is still pacing, so I grab hold of his hand and fix him with a glare that makes it clear he needs to stand fucking still or I may kill him.
Doing as he’s told, he stands beside me, lacing our fingers together as he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Are you happy for me to begin?” the doctor asks.
“I’m not surehappyis the right word. But, sure, go for it. But please try not to press too hard on my stomach or I might pee,” I admit, a blush spreading across my cheeks as she laughs.
“It’s not the first time I’ve heard that. I will be gentle and quick,” she replies with a reassuring smile.
The vaginal scan is over quickly—which I’m fucking grateful for— and she determines I’m far enough along to do an external scan. She squirts a lot of jelly onto my stomach, just below my belly button.
Finn says he can already see a bump, and from certain angles, it looks like you can. Although, as Kian was quick to remind me this morning, it could just be from eating one too many of the muffins I’ve been craving recently. He was certainly not laughing when a piece of said muffin hit him in the face when I threw it at him. That will teach him to call a pregnant lady fat.
As soon as the doctor places the ultrasound probe against my skin, my eyes are glued to the screen. I barely notice the cold sensation from the jelly, or the way my bladder protests when she presses in one particular spot. All I can focus on is the tinylittle blob in the middle of the screen, though I can’t make out anything at all. I can’t even be sure it’s a baby at this point.
“Huh,” the doctor says, drawing my attention straight over to her. She doesn’t look concerned, but it’s hardly a reassuring thing to say.
Finn sounds frantic. “What is it, Doc? Is everything okay? Is McKenna okay? Is it the baby?” The words stumble out of his mouth so quickly, neither of us can keep up. I squeeze his hand in reassurance, but all his attention is on the doctor, who is still staring at the ultrasound screen.
“Nothing is wrong. In fact, everything looks perfect. You are almost sixteen weeks along, which is further than we initially thought. It’s why I moved to the abdominal ultrasound, to get a clearer picture. Now I’m sure…you’re having twins.”
The last word echoes around the room, and both Finn and I turn to look at each other, matching wide eyes and startled expressions. “Are you sure it’s twins?” Finn asks, and the doctor just chuckles.
