“I can’t believe how calm the water is today.” The anchor disappears into the dark blue ocean, coming to a stop when it hits the sea floor. “Is it cold?”
“The gauge said it’s about fifty-six degrees.”
“Too cold to swim,” I say regretfully.
Wilder considers me skeptically and points to the cloudy sky. “Camilla, we’re not swimming in December.”
“What would happen if I jumped in?”
He runs off to shut down the engine. “You’re not jumping in.”
“But what would happen if I did?”
“I’d have to go in after you.” He returns and pulls the blanket from my hands. Wilder sits and opens his arms to me, and I sink beside him, soaking in his warmth. He drapes the blanket over our legs and asks, “What’s going on? Why are you asking?”
Smiling shyly, I say, “I saw this movie once where these people jumped off their boat in the middle of the ocean and forgot to put the ladder down. Most of them died.”
He nods, sweeping my hair away from my forehead. “If you happened to fall in, there’s a boarding ladder at the back of the boat. I’ll jump in after you, we’ll climb on board, and then I’ll lock you in the cabin until we get home.”
I elbow him and say, “Not funny.”
“Shit.” He sighs, palming the back of his neck. “Bad joke. I’m sorry.”
“No big deal,” I say, taking in our surroundings.
I watch the ocean every single day from Ridge & Sons, and if I’m quiet enough, I can hear it from the apartment. Fresh off the bus, the first thing I did when I decided to stay in Grand Haven was go to the beach. Walking along the seashore, I dipped my toes in the water, searched for seashells, and lay in the warm sand. It was a dream come true, but this rocking, floating sensation is brand-new. For the first time in my life, the ground isn’t solid under my feet.
But I have never been this still.
Wilder tips my chin up with his knuckle. “It’s a big deal to me. What’s going on? Are you scared? I can pull the anchors and we can go closer to port.”
“Quite the opposite, actually.” I stand up, returning to the farthest point of the bow. I look over the edge, and the boat sits four or five feet out of the water. “Thank you for bringing me here. Those dolphins were amazing.”
“Baby, don’t lean so far over.” He pushes the blanket off his legs and beckons me back, sliding to the end of his seat.
Standing on the very edge of the ship, I hold my arms out to my sides like Wilder did in front of Nico and close my eyes. The sun breaks through the clouds, turning everything red and the prickling heat matches the fire inside. Wilder grabs me by the back of my sweater, and I turn in his arms. “Let me go,” I say.
“Camilla, I can’t.”
He’s stronger and could pull me down if he wanted to. His expression hardens instead, and maybe it goes to show how unwilling he is to let me out of his sight or maybe it’s love, but Wilder steps onto the edge of the boat. We’re face-to-face on separate sides of the guardrail, holding each other like a slow dance.
“Then come with me.”
“What are you doing?”
“Trust me.” I trace an invisible cross on his forehead with my thumb and whisper, “Let go.”
We fall for centuries and sink beneath the waves for an eternity. Frigid water shocks our hearts like electricity, and our skin burns like it’s on fire. The ocean is as loud below the surface as it is above ground, and underwater waves hum in our ears as the weight of the water crushes our lungs. We can’t open our eyes, but we don’t need to see. Wilder’s lips press against mine, and my mouth parts, filling with saltwater.
This isn’t a church basin, but the water is holy.
A brand-new baptism.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit…
And we’re not alone.
Cradled in His light, we’re forgiven and washed of our sins. He never abandoned me. He waited until I needed Him the most to show up.
