Page 8 of Dear Creed
CREED
My muscles are burningand sweat is rolling down my temples as I grit my teeth and push the weighted bar back up one last time. The metal bar clangs when I set it back in the cradle above me, and I shake out my arms. Sitting up, I glance at the mirrored wall, checking my reflection. I’m red in the face, and my hair looks like I just climbed out of the shower. My teammates lift and strain around me, looking equally rough. Grunts and groans accompany their efforts.
Jackson, the wide receiver who’s been spotting me, swipes his blond hair from his forehead and flashes me a pearly white smile. His vivid green eyes twinkle with humor. “Thought you weren’t going to get that last one in for a second.”
I glare. “Shut up, dick.”
He chuckles, and gestures for me to get up. “Switch with me. I’m so glad we don’t have workout or class tomorrow. I want to get this done so I can meet up with my girl. Her roommate’s out of town, so—”
“I’ll pass on the details,” I interrupt while swinging my leg over the bench and pushing myself up on tired arms. I grab a towel and dry the sweat off the bench and the weight bar.
Speaking of girls, my phone has about ten unread messages from my date on Valentine’s Day. When I’d followed Jake home from the party a week ago, I’d only returned to let her know I was leaving. I hadn’t been in the right headspace to fake having a good time. I hadn’t been able to draw my attention away from Jake all night. My thoughts haven’t been any clearer since then.
I’d known there was a possibility he’d be there. I think it was part of the reason I’d agreed to attend with Anna, someone I’d met a several months ago in the library but wasn’t genuinely interested in. That probably makes me a dick. No, it definitely makes me a dick.
What I hadn’t considered in my ill-planned night out was having an argument with Jake, or how just being near him would bring so many memories rushing through my mind.
The sounds of workout machinery and my teammates giving each other shit echo off the concrete walls of the weight room. The smells of sweat and commercial grade cleaner linger in the air. The athletic complex is a second home, and conditioning is so routine I operate on autopilot most days, but my focus has been off all week. My thoughts are centered on Jake.
“Are you going to spot me or what?” Jackson’s voice cuts through my tangled thoughts, and I realize I’ve been staring at the concrete floor that’s been painted with the purple and gold Tigers logo.
“Sorry, man. Just distracted.” I move behind the bench, positioning my fingers under the bar.
His hands are wrapped around the bar, but he doesn’t lift. Instead, he cocks a brow. “You’ve been this way for days. What’s going on with you?”
I like Jackson. We get along well and connect nearly flawlessly on the field. That doesn’t mean I’m going to start sharing my innermost secrets with him. I frown. “Nothing. I thought you were in a hurry to leave.”
Jackson rolls his eyes, but his attention moves to the bar once again as he begins his set. I force myself to focus on my task because his safety is my responsibility, but I can’t help thinking of Jake and the conversation we’d had that night. A conversation that was still incomplete and a year late. Too late maybe.
I’m still not sure what I want to say to him. I miss him. I miss our friendship. But there are so many question marks where he and I are concerned that I’ve been stuck on this hamster wheel in my head. There are so many things he doesn’t know yet. Things I can’t think about right now because of my environment, and more truthfully, because I’m an asshole who’d rather ignore real feelings than face them.
“Shit.” Jackson grunts, and I instinctually wrap my hands around the bar.
I arch a brow down at him. “You good?”
He smirks. “Just making sure you’re alert back there. Can’t let anything happen to this pretty face.”
Jackson does have a pretty face, almost feminine, not that I’m going to tell him that. Instead, I glare. “Not funny.”
He snickers, but it’s breathless. Jackson already sounds tired, so I need to concentrate on the heavy weights over his head. I push aside thoughts of Jake for the rest of the session.
An hour later, I drag my sweaty ass to the locker room and grab a shower, quickly soaping my body and washing my hair. Once I’m clean, I wrap my towel around my waist and head to my locker, pulling out my gym bag and spare clothes.
“What are you getting into when you leave here?” Jackson asks, while slipping on a long-sleeved t-shirt.
It’s Friday and I don’t have any classes until Monday, but I hadn’t planned on doing anything except maybe seeing what some of the boys were getting into. Jake is still on my mind, and I know he’s working today. He’s worked every Friday at this little electronic store a short walk from campus since he started the job this semester. I could stop by and see what he’s up to, but he’d probably kick me out It’s a bad idea. Besides, I still haven’t decided what I want to say to him.
Jackson’s eyebrows crash together. “Did you go mute sometime in the last minute or so?”
I shake my head, clearing away my thoughts. “No, I was just thinking. No plans. And I still don’t want details on your night.”
He snorts. “I wouldn’t give them to you anyway. You’d probably try to steal my girl if I told you she can do this thing with her tongue that’s just…” Jackson sighs dreamily, and I frown, deciding no reply is necessary. I don’t care about his girlfriend or any of hertalents. “Anyway,” he says while standing and then slinging his gym bag strap over his shoulder, “have fun doing whatever it is you broody dicks do on Friday nights.”
“I’m not broody,” I reply automatically. His eyes call me a liar. I don’t argue again. It’s not the first time the label has been thrown at me, but truthfully, I just get in my head a lot.
Jackson purposely knocks into my shoulder on his way out, and I roll my eyes. I don’t talk to anyone else or join in the chaos of discussions going on around me. I need some peace and quiet. I need some time to make a decision about what I want to say to Jake before I end up causing a disaster during winter conditioning.
After dressing quickly, I grab my gym bag and offer a few chin nods and promises to text later on my way out. I head to the door and then through the athletic complex until I reach the parking lot. Settling into my truck, a lifted black crew cab Mom and Dad had surprised me with for high school graduation, I start the engine to get the heat circulating through the vents. While waiting for it to warm up, I contemplate my next move.
