I tuck loose ends around her until she’s a little burrito, her fingers curled inside the blanket layers. My gaze sticks on her mouth, and my hands slow their aimless work. Other ways to warm her spin through my head. I finally sit back, my shoulder brushing hers.
“I should thank you. You rescued me back there.”
“I just filled some awkward silence.”
“Boss,” I say gently. “Accept my thanks.”
She nods, fighting a smile. “You’re welcome.”
I push slightly on the swing, rocking us slowly back and forth. “I’m glad my dad was there for you that day.”
Being stuck on the side of the highway could be a bad situation for anyone, let alone a teenage girl.
“Yeah. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to find me in a spot like that—includingmydad. He’s more the type to call in help than to offer it. The only hands-on work he does is all the braces he puts on at his orthodontics practice.”
“Did you get in trouble with your parents for running out of gas?”
She snuggles deeper into the blanket so it covers her chin. “I never told them about it.”
I dip my shoulder against hers. “Hope Parrish. You were secretly a little rebel, and I never knew.”
“It was self-preservation. I didn’t need a lecture about howLilanever ran out of gas on the highway.”
“You got it too, huh? Perfect Older Sibling Syndrome?”
“Textbook case. Lila’s spent her whole life checking off the list of things Mom wanted for us. I’m always scrambling to keep up.”
We rock for a minute, listening to the muffled hum of conversation from inside.
“I’m sorry for the way that man in there talked about you like you were an afterthought to your dad. You know you weren’t, right?”
Caleb had fallen into line behind Dad a whole lot easier than I had. Dad never pitted us against each other, but the comparisons didn’t have to be voiced for me to feel them. I know he loved me without question. But I also know I’d failed to do so many of the things that would have made him happy. Intentionally and unintentionally.
“I went to all your baseball games,” she says.
Now that’s an interesting bit of news. I spin my head to face her, but she lifts a hand out of the blanket cocoon I’d made for her.
“That’s not the point. The point is, your dad was always the loudest fan in the stands. He cheered for you like crazy, yelling his head off and whistling for every pitch.”
Just her mentioning it has the piercing sound echoing in my head. “His wolf whistles could damage people’s eardrums.”
“You guys lost your last home game. And your dad cheered for you just as hard as ever. I remember him running out onto the field to lift you up in this huge bear hug even though you weren’t having it. I didn’t know him, but it looked to me like he just wanted to celebrateyou, win or lose.”
Win or lose.
My lungs contract in that heavy, stuttering way that says tears are right around the corner. I suck in air as though that can protect me, but my defensive line is weak. Hope charged right through it with her memories of Dad.
She isn’t wrong. He’d supported me and cheered for me no matter how things shook out. I didn’t need to win to earn his proud looks and congratulations. He’d always had my back. Always championed me, always been the dad anybody would have loved to have.
It made it that much worse that I’d opted to leave him and everything he’d hoped for me behind.
Thisis why I hate events like tonight. Reminiscing. Sharing. I don’t let my emotions get the best of me. But a few soft words from Hope, and my eyes well with tears, my heart very nearly breaching the surface.
“Oh.” Her soft breath blows a little puff of vapor between us as she twists to face me, her leg pushing harder against mine. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that.”
“It’s okay.” I don’t meet her eyes, and my voice cracks. I don’t really want her to see me like this…but I don’t want her to leave, either. “That’s what tonight is about.”
I just hadn’t expected Hope to be the one to make me miss my dad with this ferocious ache.
