Page 52 of One Texas Night...
“You were born worried.”
“I have a wonderful marriage, so I know that when you really love someone, marriage is paradise.”
Jared thought he had already heard it all from Sloan, but now Sloan had found a new worry. “That’s nice.”
“No, I mean it. When love is good, it’s beyond description. I want that for Allison.”
“That’s nice, Sloan. What’s that got to do with me?”
“I’m getting to it. I don’t think that’s what is going to happen. She told me that the next time Phillip proposes—and he will propose because he does so on a regular basis—she will accept.”
Jared had known that, but he still felt as if he had received a blow to his middle. “I already knew that.”
“I don’t think she’ll be happy or that marrying Phillip is what she wants to do.”
“I can’t do anything about your sister accepting some guy’s marriage proposal. She knows what she wants.”
“What makes me feel guilty and bad about this is that I think I’ve described you as a wild man who will never settle down. You’re my best friend, the best man in my wedding, a great guy and I shouldn’t have made you sound so wild and crazy.”
Jared laughed. “Is that what this lunch is about? Cool it, Sloan. It wouldn’t have mattered how wild and crazy you made me sound if Allison and I had been in love and wanted to get married.”
“I know you don’t want to marry, but you might rethink that a little. I’m telling you, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Far happier. It’s wonderful, kids with runny noses and all.”
“Kids with runny noses don’t exactly sell me on marriage,” he teased. “I’m kidding. I’m sure you’re happy,” Jared said, smiling at his friend. “You’re the best as far as friends go. Well, maybe you could worry a little less, but you’re a great friend. Allison and I aren’t seeing each other, and it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
“I have the feeling that I’m responsible.”
”You are definitely not responsible. Case closed. You haven’t done anything to change our lives, so forget it.”
Now if only Jared could forget Allison as easily.
On the way back to his office after lunch, he kept thinking about Allison and remembering that first night when she was eighteen, and how she had shocked and dazzled him. He had never forgotten her since. He thought about her sitting on his lap, telling him that he was missing out on life with his need for adventure instead of love. Real, deep, lasting love with commitment. With Allison, that was what it would be.
She was marrying another man. Every time Jared thought about her marrying someone else, he got a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. She wasn’t even really in love with Phillip. Yet she would be if she made that commitment.
Jared thought about the things he liked to do that Allison considered so wild. The bull riding was one. The deep-sea diving, the mountain climbing, the white-water rafting. If he had second thoughts, he’d better come to a conclusion soon. Sloan had called for a reason, and Jared suspected she was on the verge of getting engaged any day now.
He walked back to his office, burning off some energy, trying to think clearly about his future. Which was right for him—giving up the adventures he loved or giving up the woman he wanted?
Could he ever get her to accept him the way he was and let go of some of her fears?
The night of the rodeo he remembered how she had looked white as snow after his ride. Her hands had been ice, even in his car with the heater going. She had true fears, and that night she’d looked as if she would be physically ill.
Could he make any sacrifices for her? And was that what he wanted to do?
Telling his secretary that he didn’t want to be disturbed, Jared went into his office and closed the door.
Marry Allison? He had never seriously thought about marriage. But then he had never seriously been in love.
He loved her. The realization surprised him. He hadn’t stopped to take a long look at his feelings for her. He had pursued her, enjoyed being with her, tried to develop a relationship, have an affair, but he hadn’t stopped to really consider how deep his feelings went. And if he asked her to marry him and she refused, would it make it more difficult than ever to forget her?
Jared walked to a window to look across the Dallas rooftops. He had expected her to do something like this, but not so soon. He had thought she would take some time after leaving him and think over her future, wait a while to see if he pursued her.
Instead, she was going on with her life as if he had never been in it. Perhaps Phillip was urging her to say yes.
Jared kicked a leg of his chair lightly with his toe, feeling frustrated and wanting to see her.
He stared beyond the roofs of buildings, seeing green treetops on the edge of town, some patches of green downtown. Was he losing the love of his life by not acting? Could he watch her marry someone else?
