Page 50 of The Playboy Meets His Match
“Jason, we haven’t known each other long enough. This is too fast. Last month I didn’t know you. Days ago you told me in no uncertain terms that you would never marry.”
“Well, I hadn’t fallen in love then. My life has changed because of knowing you.”
“It’s too soon to really know what you feel deep in your heart.”
“I think you’re the one who said something about you’d just know when you fell in love. Well, that’s the way it’s been with me. I know what I want and how I feel.” He gazed into her eyes in a long, probing look. “Tell me you don’t love me.”
“You know I can’t tell you that, but this is too fast. I don’t want to rush into an engagement, rush into a marriage. Last month you were certain you’d never marry. You’ve spent a lifetime—your adult lifetime—going from woman to woman. For you to really know your feelings is going to take time.”
“No, it isn’t,” he answered, and her pulse jumped because she wanted with all her heart to believe what he was saying.
“If we love each other, time will prove it.”
“I don’t want you to go back to Dallas. I want you here, just as you are now. I want you in my arms, in my bed every night. I want to come home to you, to call you when I need you, to have someone to share everything with.”
“Jason, I want that so badly that I don’t dare think about it.”
“Let go and trust me. Acknowledge what you know you feel.”
“You can’t be so sure so fast. I don’t know if you’ve done this with every other woman you’ve—”
“I haven’t asked another woman to marry me,” he interrupted her gruffly. “I swear to you, Merry, I’ve never told a woman I loved her. Not once, not ever. Not even as a teen. There was always a part of me that stood back and held back and kept quiet.”
“Oh, Jason,” she said, knowing that withdrawal was from old hurts, but that didn’t mean he was so completely certain now. “I don’t think you can change quickly and really know how you’ll feel a year from now or two years from now. This is way too fast, way too superficial.”
“There’s nothing superficial about it. I know to the depths of my soul, Merry. I’ve never been this way before. I know for certain.”
“Then date me and show me. There hasn’t been anything normal or routine about the time we’ve been together—the bomb, I’m away from home, I’m living here—”
“The intimacy and the upheaval ought to allow us to know each other better and know our feelings better. In a crisis all civilized veneer is stripped away and what’s real is left. And that’s what we’ve seen of each other.”
“Maybe, but I think we need some time and space. I can’t believe you really know your own heart. No one can have a complete turnaround the way you have. Not this fast. Jason, when I marry, I want it to be forever.”
“I do, too. And I know my heart. I know what I feel for you. I love you.”
She closed the ring box and placed it in his hand. “Maybe in time, Jason. Not now. There’s no way you can convince me that you deeply, truly love me. You were far too convincing only a short time ago when you said you would never fall in love, never marry.”
“I didn’t really know you then.”
“You don’t really, really know me now.”
“I think I do. And what I don’t know, I want to find out.” He held her face with his hands. “Dammit, woman, I love you. I want you to marry me.”
She gazed into his eyes, blazing with determination and desire. He pulled her closer to lean forward and kiss her long and hard.
“Marry me,” he urged after a lot of kisses.
She moved away, wrapping his fingers around the ring box. “We can talk about it, and you can see how you feel after we get to know each other better.”
He caught her chin with his hand and his eyes burned into hers. “I know exactly what I want. I love you, darlin’. And I’ll convince you of it.”
Her heart thudded, and she couldn’t resist pulling him to her, taking them both down on the bed and kissing him wildly. Letting go with kisses and lovemaking, she couldn’t get enough of him or give enough of herself to him. There were no barriers here, no holding back. Time did not exist. Love was all-encompassing, and she could pour out her love for him.
The next morning, Jason left the house shortly after dawn to round up steers to take to market.
A lot of the ranch work Jason did was from his pickup, but today he and the men were going on horseback. At the corral he saddled his gray horse and swung into the saddle, riding out to join the others.
All through the day, unless his attention was completely on his work, he thought about Merry and how to convince her he knew his own feelings. In late afternoon before he returned to the house, he flagged down his foreman.
