Page 30 of The Playboy Meets His Match
“Jason!” Merry said softly, shocked and caught by surprise, never guessing the shuttered looks had been because of his mother. A muscle worked in his jaw, and his fist was clenched on his knee. He had already told her his parents had been divorced, but she didn’t realize those old hurts still plagued him.
“My father never got over her. Never. That’s what hurt so damned badly. He loved her every day all his life, and he drank too much to drown his sorrows. It hurt to lose her, but that pain never diminished because my brothers and I had to watch our dad suffer. My brothers have had bad marriages, and I vowed I would avoid loving someone the way my father and brothers did. No commitment—no great hurt.”
“Jason, love doesn’t always bring hurt,” she said, aghast at his dismal view of love.
“It makes you damn vulnerable,” he said with rough cynicism.
“You want to go through life alone? There are so many joys when you share life. Children are wonderful.”
“I have my nephews and I haven’t exactly been lonely.”
She hurt for him and she hurt for herself because she suspected his life was settled the way he wanted it, and he was in no danger of risking his heart. That realization spread pain deep inside her, because he was a strong-willed man who was old enough and experienced enough to know what he wanted and to control his impulses when he needed to. Hurt and sadness filled her. She was aware of the invisible barrier between them.
She thought about the living room that didn’t seem to fit the rest of the house. “Your mother decorated the living room, didn’t she?”
“Yes, and my dad never wanted to change it. It was the one room that held her touch. That and their bedroom, but he changed the bedroom. I suppose it was too painful for him the way it had been when she was here. But the living room is the same. I intend to change it, but I just haven’t gotten around to it. None of us has ever used that room and now I don’t give it much thought.”
Merry moved close to him and put her arm around him. “I’m sorry. Do you remember her?”
He turned to look at her. He was only inches away now, and she realized moving close to hug him in sympathy was the wrong gesture if she wanted the attraction between them to cool. In the depths of his eyes, desire flashed as hot as a consuming blaze. When she met his gaze, her pulse jumped. His arm tightened, and he leaned the last few inches to kiss her.
Mouths touched, and that flash of heat and desire came, but along with it was more. Jason had just given her a part of himself that she knew he seldom had shared and it made the kiss more important. There was more of a closeness. And desire was building, igniting into heat that melted and shook her. The man could kiss. She didn’t need to know his past to know she was with an expert. His mouth, his tongue were doing things to her, with her, that shattered her cautious resolve.
She wanted to kiss him in return, to give in return and to do to him even half of what he was doing to her.
She broke away finally, both of them gasping for breath. “We’re going in circles. I should go.”
He caught her wrist, turning her hand to kiss her palm. “Just stay and talk. We’re not going to sleep. I promise I’ll keep my distance if that’s what you want.”
“It’s what I want,” she said, knowing that wasn’t the full truth at all. It was fast becoming less than a half-truth. She wanted him with so much of her being that it frightened her.
When she moved to the corner of the sofa, he looked amused. “I think I asked you if you remembered your mother. You don’t need to answer me if you don’t want to,” she said.
“Oh, yes. I remember her,” he replied. “Lots of memories that have grown fuzzy over the years and that I no longer try to dredge up. When I was little I thought she loved us all. I was wrong.”
“I’m sorry you were hurt, because I think loving someone would be pretty wonderful.”
“Yeah, if they always loved you in return.”
“True enough. Are your brothers happily married now?”
“Yes. Ethan, who is thirty-five, has two boys from his first marriage and two from his second. Same with Luke.”
“See, sometimes you can marry and live happily ever after.”
“Maybe.” A muscle worked in his jaw and she regretted his hurts and his attitude that she didn’t think would ever change.
“So what’s the next step with the disk?” she asked, trying to get away from a discussion of marriage.
“I’ll give those copies of the files to Sheriff Escobar, to Rob—actually to several of the club members. I’ll call them around seven to set up a meeting.”
He scooted closer, stretched out his long arm and wound his fingers lightly in her hair. There were faint tugs against her scalp that should have been insignificant, but were not. Instead, desire that had been steadily burning, sparked and danced across her raw nerves. Her gaze drank in his thickly lashed eyes and sensual mouth. She longed to be back in his arms. Everything in her screamed that this man was important to her, yet she knew her reactions to him were dangerous to her well-being.
“If I meet with my friends tomorrow, will you stay here?”
“If you want me to. Yes.”
“Is that a promise?”
