Page 40 of The Forbidden Texan
He pumped harder, faster and suddenly groaned, thrusting deeply and shuddering with his climax.
They slowed until he finally stretched beside her, one of his legs between hers as she ran her fingers in his hair. Her other hand stroked his smooth back that was damp with perspiration. “Jake, this is paradise.”
He kissed her throat instead of replying, his left hand stroking her so lightly.
“You’re fantastic,” he whispered finally. “You’ll never know how much I wanted you,” he added. “Next time will be slow. I’ll kiss you and caress you until you want me as desperately as I just wanted you.”
She wrapped her arm around his narrow waist, to hold him close while she lightly kissed his ear and his neck. When he couldn’t see her lips, she mouthed, “I love you,” but that was all. She didn’t whisper them.
She would never tell him she loved him. They had no future, only a short past. When they parted, Jake would walk away with her heart and he would never even know it. She didn’t want him to know. She had to let him go and tell him goodbye. For now, though, he was here in her arms and she could kiss him as much as she wanted.
* * *
Friday night, after working hard all week to complete her assignment at the Long L, she was packed and ready to go in the morning. Jake would fly her back to Dallas.
When Saturday morning came, as they left the ranch and walked out the door, he had his pickup waiting at the front. She asked him to wait while she walked into the fenced front yard and took a picture of the house.
She took two more and had three pictures of Jake standing with his pickup in front of the house. He had on a black Stetson, a black long-sleeve shirt beneath his denim jacket and tight jeans and he looked every inch the Texas rancher. She loved him with all her heart and she hurt badly. She knew she should cut the ties today, but she had agreed to stay Saturday night in Dallas with him.
They’d planned to have dinner out, but after they left the ranch, flew to Dallas and went to his condo, he took her into his arms to kiss her and they didn’t leave his condo from that moment on.
Sunday morning she lay beside him with his arm around her. It was finally goodbye today. She had been awake a lot of the night, lying quietly beside him, sometimes caressing him until he would wake and they would make love again.
She ran her fingers across his muscled chest. “Jake, are you awake enough to talk?”
“I am now,” he drawled and rolled on his side, propping his head on his hand to look at her and toy with locks of her long hair. “Actually, I was awake and I’ve been thinking about us. I know what you’ll answer but I still want to ask, anyway. Will you move in with me, maybe go home with me to my other ranch part of the time?”
Her heart thudded. She could move in with him and hope he’d change his mind and want to make it permanent. As she thought about it, he remained quiet.
She hurt, but she knew the answer. “I can’t do that, Jake. I guess that’s old-fashioned, but so is my whole family. Old-fashioned and happy. Very happy. That’s what I want and maybe someday, some guy will come into my life and share that, but if that doesn’t happen, I can’t change what I want and who I am.”
“Your answer doesn’t surprise me, but if I hadn’t asked, I’d always wonder.”
“As long as we’re on the subject of families, relationships, love and the future, I’ll admit I’ve been thinking about us. Really thinking about you.”
“How so?” he asked, sounding amused as he turned to look at her.
“Jake, I’d never expect you to change. And know that I won’t change. Intimacy to me is a precious thing between two people and vows are meant to be kept. If I have a long-running relationship, I have to have commitment. But there’s no denying that there’s something special between us, something unique that generates these crazy sparks that fly between us whenever we’re together.”
“Darlin’, is there ever. I don’t want to let you go.”
“It’s because of that fiery chemistry that I’ve made an exception these last few nights. Though I want commitment, I also wanted to let go and make love, kiss and be kissed, do things with you, because you’re handsome, sexy, exciting—”
“If this is a goodbye, that isn’t the way to do it,” he said, his brown eyes intense, as he looked at her. His smile had vanished.
“It is goodbye and why I wanted this final time with you. I wanted to do those things with you that took me out of my world. I may never find the fire and excitement with anyone else that I’ve found with you but I’ll wait, Jake. I’ve told you that I want a ring, a family, kids and dogs. I want it all. I can’t have that with you, so I won’t live with you on the ranch or in Dallas. We end today. You’ll go on with life and you won’t miss me because I’ve never been a real part of your life.”
“I’m going to miss you terribly,” he whispered and kissed away her answer.
* * *
An hour later, he lay with his arm around her, holding her close against him. She turned on her side to look at him, touching him lightly, her fingers playing in his curly chest hair.
“Jake, you’ve told me from the time we first met that you have a dim view of marriage because your own family has done so poorly. And your brothers and sister have warned you not to have kids because fighting for their custody will tear you up.”
“That’s right,” he said, sounding amused. “Are you going to give me a pitch about how good it is in your family and I should rethink my stand on marriage?”
She didn’t answer for a minute. “No, it’s not my family I’m going to remind you about. It’s your family.”
