He just needed to stand up. If he could only stand up and find the door, he could get help. He could see Marjie again. He could buy her more modeling clay and tell her he loved her and she would call him Dad again, and he wouldn’t have to die knowing that she would forget about him and move on just as Jessica had forgotten about him and moved on.
He opened his mouth to say his daughter’s name, but no sound came out. He slumped heavily against the wall, and when his head connected with the handle, he was too far gone to realize he had found the door.
CHAPTER TEN
“Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if you and Michael had worked out?”
Faith furrowed her brow and smiled in amusement. “Me and Michael? Are you serious?”
“Yes,” Dr. West insisted, smiling slightly. “I’m curious.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Well, he seems to be the most important person in your life. I’m curious to know if you still consider him to be and if you ever wonder what might have happened if the two of you had managed to maintain your romantic relationship.”
She narrowed her eyes playfully. “It seems to me like you’re trying to live vicariously.”
“Through you?” he asked.
“Or through Michael.”
He gave her a paternal look. “Are you suggesting that I’m asking this question so I can imagine what dating you would be like?”
She laughed and shook her head. “Maybe vicariously is the wrong word.”
“Maybe you’re just stalling so you can avoid answering the question.”
“It’s a weird question!” she protested. “Do you ever wonder what things would have been like if you and your ex-wife had remained together?”
“Of course,” he replied. “All the time.”
She stared in surprise. “Really? Doesn’t that depress you?”
“Does it depress you to think of what might have happened between you and Michael?”
“I asked first,” she said.
“Actually, I did,” he pointed out, “and you still haven’t answered my question.” He took a sip of his water. “But I’ll play nice. No, it doesn’t depress me. I am happy with my choice, and I believe she is happy with hers. We reached a point where we were completely incompatible, and there was no way for us to be together without lessening both of ourselves.”
“Wow.” Faith leaned back in her chair to digest that. “That soundsverydepressing.”
“Not at all. We enjoyed many wonderful years together, and I look back on them fondly. Occasionally, I miss those years. But when I look back on them, I realize that she and I wouldn’t have lasted in the long term, and if we had tried to force something that wasn’t there, we would have made ourselves miserable and sacrificed much of what matters to us both intrinsically and experientially.” He smiled a touch sheepishly. “Was that too much psychobabble for you?”
“No, you’re good,” Faith said with a smile.
The smile faded. Dr. West waited patiently while she gathered her thoughts. Finally, she said, “I… try not to think too much about it, I guess.”
“Why’s that?”
She shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable with the subject. “I mean… it didn’t work out. What’s the point of wondering why or thinking about how things might have been different? They’re not different, and if we try to make them different, we’ll just end up hurt.”
“Why do you say that?”
She stared at him incredulously. “Um… well, we’re not together, so obviously things didn’t work out.”
“No, I mean the last part. The part where you said if we try to make them different, we’ll just end up hurt. Why do you say that?”
She shifted in her seat and shrugged. “I mean… we’re different people. We want different things in life, and we want different things in a relationship. If we tried to want the things the other person wanted… I guess like you, we’d be forcing something that isn’t there.”
