Page 48 of Carrying Your Lies
There is recognition in his eyes as I spit the last word at him. “She told you about the cameras.” He doesn’t look as panicked or worried as I thought he would be. Rather, he looksdistressed. “Let me explain. I didn’t have a choice. She would call me at work and threaten to kill herself if I didn’t come home right then. You have no idea how many times I broke every speed limit to get back here only to see her sipping her wine as if she didn’t scare me like that.”
I hate that it seems somewhat plausible. Emery craves his attention. She cheated on him just so he would pay attention to her.But would she lie about killing herself?
Not only that, but he automatically presumed I was talking aboutthishouse. Why wouldn’t he assume I was talking about the guesthouse if he was guilty of watching me?
“Why are there cameras in the guesthouse? She told me you never installed them because you locked the doors,” I ask, controlling my tone. I don’t want him to know he has cast a doubt.
He looks confused but then shakes his head. “I forgot about those,” he mutters, more to himself than me. When he continues, his eyes latch onto mine. “Those aren’t even on. Savannah. She doesn’t know about them because I never told her.”
“Why?”
“I built that guesthouse for Emery because she begged me to. She wanted to start a business and asked for a workspace. It didn’t even finish being built before she told me she wastestingme. She wanted to see if I loved her enough to build it.”
“Why would she do that?”
Feeling frustrated, he stands up and runs his hand over his face. “Because this is what she does! She plays mind games. After I built it, she would hide there for days without coming out. I had no idea if she was dead or alive.” He looks lost in his thoughts as he relives the distraught. He swallows hard before he continues. “So, one day, I installed the cameras without telling her. Butonlyso I could make sure she was okay. I didn’t tell her because she would have hidden somewhere else. She would sit and drink non-stop for days. One day, she passed out and started choking on her own vomit. I locked the doors that day and told her she couldn’t go there anymore. I turned the cameras off that day. I can prove it to you.”
If he is lying, how could he come up with such a convincing story on the spot? It sounds so believable. But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been watching. He could have listened to my private calls, watched me sleep, get dressed, and have sex with Huxley. The thought makes me feel nauseous.
But if he did watch all that, would he have kept quiet? Emery said he knew about the cheating but never said anything. Is that what is happening here? From my experience, Xavier is too controlling. He turned up at Chris’s club when I broke that clause.
No. He would have said something.
I stand taller. “Prove it.”
He looks confident as he powers up his laptop. I watch over his shoulder as he logs in, passes all the security checks, and loads the live feeds. My stomach plummets when I see every corner of the house appear on his screen. He doesn’t linger on the screen for long. Instead, he pulls up a different menu and clicks on the tab labelledEm’s Office.I wait for something to happen, but the screen remains blank.
“See, they’re off.”
“How do I know you didn’t turn it off yesterday?”
His fingers move fast until he pulls up a page of coding. He highlights a line. “Look at the date, Savannah. The cameras were turned off more than a year before you moved in. I can do many things, but I can’t rewrite these codes. It’s built into the security system.” He swivels his chair around, so he is facing me. “Is that enough proof?”
I want to say no. I want to tell him he is lying, but he’s given me a reasonable answer. “For now.”
“You came in here ready to walk out,” he says. “It’s like you’re looking for a reason to leave me.”
I can’t face the sadness on his face. It’s making it hard to hold onto my anger. “How can you expect me to stay when you’re married?”
“And if I wasn’t?”
The question leaves me stumped. What would I do? Huxley is fun but can’t even commit to a friends-with-benefits situation. With Huxley, it’s purely sexual. Xavier, on the other hand, it’s more profound. He makes me feel safe. He looks at me as though he can really see me. I’ve never had that, and I want it.
“You’ll never leave her.” As painful as it is to say, I know it’s true.
“But what if I did?”
His question brings hope to my heart. Hope is equally beautiful as it is destructive.
“Until then, I won’t risk my heart. I’m not the pawn in this game of chess.”
I stare at the doctor in disbelief. “And when were you going to tell me?” I shout.
Xavier holds my hand as I stand up to throttle the stupid man. “Calm down, Savannah.”
When my mum’s care home called me for an emergency meeting, I was expecting bad news – maybe her medication needed changing again, or worse, she had hurt herself. Nothing could have prepared me for news of stage three blood cancer.
Dr. Grange gives me a sad smile. “I understand this is a difficult time for you. We will continue to give your mum the best care possible.”
