Page 53 of Undeniable
Until Tatum had mentioned that, I’d forgotten my mom’s failed attempts to leave my dad. The blowup that always inevitably followed. And then the brief honeymoon period that would come after that. The whole cycle of it made me sick—for my mom. For me. For Olivia and my future.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I was getting ahead of myself. Olivia and I had never been in the same zip code, let alone the same room. I had no idea how I’d feel about her once I actually met her in person. But for the first time, I was nervous.
I mean, what kind of relationship could I offer someone, especially someone like Olivia, if I’d never seen a healthy, loving relationship modeled? Hell, based on what Olivia had told me about her parents, neither had she. So how could there be any hope for the two of us?
* * *
“Flight2468 to Los Angeles will begin boarding soon,” a woman’s voice announced over the airport PA system.
I opened my text messages and smiled at the most recent one from Olivia. A message from last night, wishing me sweet dreams. What a joke. I’d barely slept, excitement and anxiety and everything else rolling through me.
I was tempted to send Olivia a message now, but it was still early. I didn’t want to risk waking her, especially considering how tired and busy she’d been lately. She’d been doing a ton to prepare for the Spines for Soldiers event, and I was so damn proud of her.
I only wished she’d tell me what was going on with her boss. The longer the situation dragged on, and the less she said, the more anxious I grew.
I double-checked my boarding pass and wondered if Zeke was going to be a no-show. I scanned the crowd again, taking note of everyone’s body language. Even though I’d been doing it for years, I’d picked up some new tricks in my recent training, and I was using this as an opportunity to practice. It was a good distraction from the thoughts threatening to overwhelm me.
The gate agent had invited the first group to board when Zeke joined my side. “Hey, man.” He held up his fist with a wide grin.
“Hey, Disco.” I bumped his fist with mine. “Cutting it a little close, huh?” I teased.
“You know how I am.” He tilted his head.
“Always living on the edge,” I supplied.
“That’s right, Cujo.” He adjusted his backpack. “Gotta keep things interesting.”
I nodded. My life had definitely been interesting lately. I was taking a vacation for the first time in years. To meet a woman I’d only ever spoken with on the phone. A woman I was extremely attracted to, despite never having seen her. And I was quite possibly falling for her.
Falling for her?I pushed that thought away.
I had zero experience with relationships, and I was becoming too emotionally attached. Especially knowing that Olivia wasn’t at all interested in a long-distance relationship. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
“How was your last assignment?” I asked Zeke.
“Man, it was good to be back in the field. Even if the job was pretty dull for the most part. Though, the principal was hot.”
Zeke’s wrist had healed, and he’d returned to the field weeks ago. He’d been assigned to protect actress Cece Golden while she was in New York, and I hadn’t seen him at all while she’d been in town for filming.
It almost made me grateful for my injury. Not that the pain or the recovery had been fun, but it was the longest break I’d had from being in the field in years. It had given me time to think. Time to get to know Olivia.
And that worried me.
What would happen when I went back to fieldwork? Would Olivia understand my unpredictable schedule or the fact that I would likely be living with the principal? Protecting them. For the first time since I’d joined the SEALs or started with Hudson, I found myself evaluating my choices under a different set of standards.
I found myself considering her feelings, and how my choices might affect us. Part of me even wondered if I wanted to return to the field if it meant less time with Olivia. An idea that would’ve seemed inconceivable in the past.
I needed to slow down. Back off a little.
I hadn’t even met the woman. Had no idea what she looked like. And yet I was ready to upend my life for her?
“What about you?” Zeke asked. “When are you back in the field?”
“Hopefully after I return from vacation,” I said. “My suspension is over.”
“I’m glad.” He clapped a hand on my shoulder. “And I hope you’re doing better.”
“I am,” I said, and I meant it. “I know I’ve said this before, but thanks for having my back.”
