“Morning. Do you need anything?”
Despite the bottle of champagne we had devoured, my mind felt clear. “No, I’m all set.” I reached across him and grabbed a water bottle from his bedside table. “What time do we have to leave?”
He glanced at his watch. “Check out is eleven. The bus leaves for Galway at half-noon, so we’ll get lunch before we go home.”
I refused to be sad, even though the days were ticking away and eventually I would have to wake up from this dream. I kissed him on the lips and pressed my body against his. “Thank you for everything. Last night, this, for putting up with me.”
We spent the rest of the morning eating the chocolate strawberries that remained in the dish from the night before, talking, and being together without any distractions. I didn’t question him or his motives, but stayed in the moment and felt the euphoria that raced through my body.
For the first time ever, I felt loved.
The next week, I swung on a pendulum of emotions. Some days, I was so busy, I could feel my life returning to a list of to-do items and checkmarks. My final projects were due, and I hadn’t managed my time as well as I did in the States. Jaime and Owen helped me cram for my Northern Ireland exam, and Deirdre answered some questions for me about the history of women in Ireland. Despite the grades I would receive, I had learned more about the culture from life experiences than any book or professor could have spouted at me.
My mood seemed to match the weather, carrying me from sunny and optimistic when it was warm and bright, to feelings of melancholy and despair when the skies turned gray and dreary. Questions about the future floated in and out of my brain, but I pushed them away, refusing to spend my remaining days in Ireland overthinking.
I tried to spend time with Marissa and Zoey, regretful for not getting to know them better. I knew I’d never forget them, but the bond they shared with each other was something I envied from afar.
Jaime and I moved beyond the friends with benefits stage and outwardly showed our affection. When we were out in public, he held my hand, held me close, and kissed me. At first, confusion about his sudden change in behavior made me uncomfortable, but I pushed my initial reaction away and fell into the moment, cherishing the constant touches of love.
After I turned in my last final, I walked up the curvy streets to our apartment, reflecting on the past four months. Noticing every quaint home I passed, and each gnarly tree growing out of the sidewalk, I embossed the sights and smells of Ireland into my memory. Nothing was too insignificant and I wanted to remember it all.
I stopped at the hotel restaurant next door and grabbed some drinks for take-away. It was my last weekend, and I’d need something to keep me company while I packed my stuff. I cradled four pint cans and walked back to our apartment.
Jaime, Zoey, and Marissa sat at the table eating cereal, and I handed them the tall cans. The tabs cracked open and echoed throughout the room.
“Cereal, milk, and beer. Quite the combination,” Zoey said, alternating between the three.
“When does everyone move out?” Jaime asked.
“My flight’s Tuesday,” Zoey said.
“Mine too,” said Marissa. “We’re gonna take a cab to the bus station in the morning.”
“I leave Wednesday,” I said. “Jaime, did you decide if you’re moving out or staying here?”
“I went to the office this morning. They told me to stay. I guess some Irish blokes are starting school mid-year or requested a transfer, so I’ll be with a few Irish guys.”
I leaned forward and scanned the messy kitchen counter. I couldn’t imagine what this place would look like without a lady’s touch. “That’s good. So, you don’t have to move out or find a new place. Are you bummed? I know you wanted to move in with some of your football guys.”
“Nah, I see them enough. Besides, it’s just a few more months. It’ll be grand.”
I imagined the space without our belongings and recalled the generic, empty shell we had walked into when we first arrived. Marissa spoke my mind. “I’m gonna miss this place.”
“Do you miss home?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m ready to go home and see my friends and family, but I’m gonna miss you guys. We had so much fun this semester.”
“What are you two doing once you leave? You live at opposite ends of the country.” I didn’t have to explain that I was referring to their relationship. The upcoming goodbye weighed us down and I could feel the uncertainty in our apartment.
Zoey leaned back in her chair and placed her hand on Marissa’s. “We’re gonna see what happens. Try the long-distance thing and make time to see each other whenever we can. We’re trying to keep the pressure off, because the pressure to stay together will kill us before we get home.”
“Besides,” Marissa added, “We’re going to stay best friends no matter what. We’ve shared too many experiences together during this life-changing time. We’re part of each other’s story. Now, we’ll see if the story continues back home.”
They made it sound so simple. So natural. I wanted to be like them, to throw caution to the wind and accept the chips as they fell.
“What about you guys?” Zoey asked.
Jaime and I didn’t answer. I waited for him to respond because I was curious, but he never did. He looked at me with those amber eyes that contained more green than brown today, and I melted beside him.
