“I want to kiss you, but I can’t. Just know that I miss you.” I slid my hand down his torso and patted him on the butt. He jumped, grinned, and raised his eyebrows at me. “I’ll see you later.” He squeezed my hand, and I returned to the table.
“Marty? Scott? I’m taking Zoey home. She’s not feeling well.”
Marty threw Zoey a concerned look, and the fine lines around her lips deepened. “Okay.”
“Don’t worry. Marissa and Jaime are staying. I’m not sure what Owen and Aoife are doing, but I’m sure they’ll make sure you have fun tonight.”
Marty jumped up and hugged me, and I stiffly tapped her on her shoulders. Scott stood, and I waved before turning on my heel and escaping from the pub before he got any ideas.
Zoey and I rode home in silence. She rested her head against the window with her eyes closed. Once we got home, I tucked her into bed and got her a glass of water. As I got up, she grabbed my wrist. “Wait.” Her eyes reflected fear. “I have to tell you something.”
I froze, not sure what she could have to say.
“Marty and Scott. They’re dating. She told me in the bathroom. After you sent that email to break up with him, they hooked up. And they’ve been together ever since.”
The room spun, and nausea bubbled inside me. Heat rose from my gut to my head, and I felt my heart beat in my fingers. Everything turned black, and then I saw red.
Chapter 31
Lying in bed the following day, I couldn’t rise. My bones hurt, my muscles ached, and my lips, chapped from crying, stuck together like dried glue. Peeling my eyes open, I crawled to the bathroom and examined the red, puffy rings above my cheek bones.
Slogging back to my bed, I burrowed under the heavy covers, and allowed the sounds of Jaime’s breathing to swallow me whole. Memories from the night before crashed against me like a hurricane. My little dinghy couldn’t sustain the constant hits of rage, frustration, and disappointment, and I cowered in a ball until the waves of emotions stopped.
Last night, I needed to be alone. When I heard the door to our apartment open, I froze. My eyes squeezed shut, my heart raced, and I slowed my breathing, pretending to be asleep. I wasn’t ready to see anyone, and I needed more time.
Jaime climbed under my blankets, but the smell of smoke and alcohol made my stomach turn. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and needed space. He reluctantly crossed the room into his bed, and I pulled my body into a tight ball, gripping my abdomen. My body shook as the tears raced down my face, but it was dark, and Jaime was sleeping. I tried my hardest to be quiet, but if the moonlight hit me just right, he would see me sobbing.
I dozed in and out of consciousness, the nightmare of Marty and Scott crossing into my dreams. Tossing and turning all night, I felt like a monster, unsure if I could pretend nothing had happened. My best friend snatched my ex-boyfriend the moment we broke up. I knew Scott wasn’t ‘the one’, but friends didn’t do that to friends. What she did was sleezy and manipulative, and I wondered what secrets of mine she had shared, knowing the issues I had with him and the feelings I had confessed to her over the past year.
Wake up, wake up. You have to wake up. It’s Thanksgiving, your favorite holiday. Do NOT let her ruin it. The room slowly came into focus, and I stumbled out of bed to face the consequences of the night before. I needed to get in the kitchen, but the open concept floor plan would wake Marty and Scott, and I didn’t want them in my view.
Procrastinating, I showered. The hot water cleared my cloudy head, and I stayed under there for who-knows-how-long, with the hot, foggy haze suffocating me. The warm air stung my lungs and made my head dizzy.
I waited until nine-thirty before convincing myself it was time to go out there. “Jaime.” I rocked his shoulders and knelt beside him. “Jaime,” I said louder.
He hmm’d and opened one eye. “I’m going to the grocery store to get some last-minute items, and my backpack isn’t big enough for everything. Can you come?” I needed him to come so I could refresh myself on his night and prepare myself for the day. “Please?”
Jaime rolled toward me and stretched his long limbs, hitting the wall behind his head. “Sure.”
He stood, stumbling to the piles of laundry on the floor, and I saw his boxers hang just below his belly button. I looked away quickly, not wanting anything to happen right now, but I couldn’t resist watching him. His confidence and swagger quietly stood out to me. He pulled on a pair of pants and a sweatshirt, and we walked the mile to the store.
Our conversation was dismal. My brain fired questions, but I couldn’t pull up enough nerve to ask. Instead, I kept it polite. “Did you have fun last night?”
“Yeah. Was Zoey okay?”
“Yeah, she needed to go to bed, but she was fine. I think she’s getting homesick.” I didn’t know if that was true, but it sounded legit, seeing that Thanksgiving was a significant holiday away from home.
The rain pelted my face, and I pulled the hood of my raincoat over my forehead. I’d gotten used to the gloomy weather, embracing the gray before the beauty could come out. It reminded me of my life.
Jaime popped open his umbrella and half-heartedly held it over my head. I waved him away, pointing to my hood.
“What’d you guys end up doing last night?” I couldn’t look at him. My pink eyes were ready to turn red and watery again.
“Hung out at the pub, went to the chippy, and then to the club. I think they got a full taste of nightlife here.”
I smiled and shoved my hands in my pockets. “Great. Thanks for staying with them. I know it wasn’t ideal. I swear, Jaime, I had no idea he was coming.” I stopped and grabbed his arm, staring into his eyes, begging him to believe me. “I don’t want him here.”
The cars raced by us, and we stepped aside to avoid the splash-over. “No worries. It’s just two more days.”
