Page 73 of Shame
Yes, it’s a mess, but we’ll sort it.
EPILOGUE
Carmen
It’s funny how life turns out sometimes.
The orphaned young man, the whore and the son that was never meant to be, live together in a house much too big for the three of us.
Lucas, me, and David. David Moreno Salvatore.
After a few weeks of us living in a hotel, Salvatore somehow managed to convince his closest neighbor that it was in their best interest to move. I’m not sure I want to know how. He pays for everything and I have no qualms accepting his dirty money. He owes me, and Lucas, more than he can ever make up for, but at the same time my life has turned out better than I could have ever imagined. I feel loved, safe… happy. If it hadn’t been for Luciano, I would never have met Lucas. I would never have had David.
He has begun to walk. He doesn’t say much yet. He loves chasing butterflies, and in Salvatore’s beautiful garden we find hundreds of them.
Salvatore schedules time with David. He sees him every day, but our son lives with me. Thank God, he accepted my proposal, or David would have lived with nannies, just as I foresaw. I think the big, bad mafia boss loves his son, though. I see it in his eyes, and as time passes, I’m beginning to see a change in him. None of my former workmates have been called over. Oh, there have been women, make no mistake, and I can’t know what goes on behind his closed doors late at night, but if he fucks women he doesn't pay for, I doubt he treats them like he used to treat us.
Salvatore will never be an angel, he will never be a law-abiding citizen, but something is changing. He’s not as much of a monster anymore.
Little David is so loved – the beautiful little boy with three parents.
“I know what I want to do,” says Lucas one day. We are having a long and lazy breakfast in the morning sun on the patio at the back of the house.
“Yeah?”
“I want to teach.”
“You are teaching.”
“Yes, and I love it, but I want to do more than teach Krav Maga for the rest of my life. I want to reach kids. For real. I want to get to them before they turn out like me. I have done so many wrongs. I want to spend my life making them right.”
I down the last of my coffee and put down the cup. “I think you turned out just fine.”
He takes my hand, stroking his thumb over the back of mine. Goosebumps race across my back. He knows I love it. “You know what I mean.”
“So what do you want to teach?”
“Social studies. Maybe English.”
“I knew you were something extra the moment I saw you.”
“I still have some ways to go. I never finished college.” He grimaces.
I grip his hand. “You’ll get there. I know it. Help me get this to the kitchen.”
As I wash up our cups, Lucas comes up from behind, pressing against me. “Is David gonna be with Elena… a while?” he whispers in my ear.
I let the cups go, spin around and lay my arms around his neck, pushing my belly against the growing bulge in his pants. “Yeah, she brought him over to Luci. Why? Do you have plans?”
My tall, blond Viking scoops me up in his embrace so fast I squeal. “Plan, schman. I’m taking you back to bed, miss.”
“When will you make an honorable woman out of me? Mrs. Carmen Payne?”
He groans. “As soon as you say yes.”
I giggle. “Ask me again,” I whisper in his ear.
Lucas lets me down in an instant and falls to one knee before me. “Will you marry me, Carmen?”
