Page 25 of Shame
“You look different. As if you’re full of pain.”
Lucas stands so abruptly the chair topples. He grabs it before it falls to the floor. Shoving a hand through his thick blond hair, he moves over to the window, turning his broad back to me.
“The view from here isn’t bad.”
“You don’t wanna talk about it?”
“No,” he mumbles.
“Salvatore?”
His shoulders tense up, and I don’t even need his verbal answer. Something has happened to this boy since the first time I saw him. Whatever it is, I find myself wishing I could have taken it for him. I have nothing left anyway. It might not be too late for Lucas.
“I won’t ask again, I’m sorry.”
He darts to my side, kneeling next to me. “It’s—” His eyes turn glossy and he swallows hard.
I lay my hand on his cheek, and he grabs it, holding it there, careful not to touch the bandages.
“So much pain,” I whisper. “He causes so much pain.”
Lucas looks down and nods. “Yeah.”
“Do you know what I used to love when I was little? What made me forget about the world?”
He shakes his head.
“I loved to read. There are some books in the common room. Do you want to read to me?”
His features transform, soften, and for the first time since he picked me up that fatal night, I see his beauty again. My Viking.
“I’ll be right back!” He darts to the door, and spins on his heels. “What do you like?”
“I’d like to see what you choose.”
A smile spreads on his face. “Be right back!”
I know my respite will be short lived. I know this is a little piece of a heaven that is not meant for me, but Lucas shows up faithfully, day after day, and reads to me. He chose The Fellowship of the Ring. I hadn’t read it, neither had he, and together we’re falling into a dark world of elves, love, friendships, and a mysterious dark force.
I don’t need fantasy to know there are monsters, but knowing that in the world of the book, they will eventually be beaten, strengthens me. Maybe they can be beaten in the real world too?
Late one night, I tiptoe to the common room, looking to see if we have the other books in the series as well. I really need to know how it ends. Upset voices coming from the kitchen make me freeze. A man and a woman. The matron and…
Luciano Salvatore.
I nearly vomit and throw myself between an armchair and the wall, crouching, my heart slamming in my chest. Why is he here? I should get back to my room, but morbid curiosity makes me stand, makes my feet move on their own accord. I need to know what they’re saying.
“You’ve got to calm down, sir.” The matron sounds tense, a bit cautious, but unafraid.
“You’re in no position to tell me what to do,” he slurs.
He’s drunk. My God. A drunk Salvatore in my house. The hair on my nape rises, my mind tells me to run, my feet take me closer. His mere presence makes my wounds ache, like a tooth cavity does when you even think of something sweet.
“I have almost thirty years on you, Luciano. Don’t give me attitude.”
“Don’t forget I own you. You and all of this,” he growls so viciously I nearly rush inside, wanting to save my brave matron.
“How can I forget,” she answers, her voice tainted by bitterness.
