Page 49 of Written in the Stars
SERENITY
Things have been calm since that last cryptic message. I know I said I would report it if any others were to come through, but I didn’t. Well, I tried to, but when I called the police station the night after the video of me and Zander came through on my phone, the storm caused the line to fail, and I wasn’t able to get service for the rest of the night. The following day, no other messages came through. I didn’t say anything to him or Lissa, not that day or any other day that followed. Of course, they kept asking me every once in a while if I had received any more messages, but I didn’t say anything, just hoping to put the incident behind me. I didn’t want either of them to freak out, and I knew they would have.
Luckily for me, that was the last message I received two weeks ago. Maybe it’s all over after all.
Today was a good day, and right now, on a typical Thursday evening, Zander picked me up from Lissa’s store around eight, and we went back to his place for some takeout and a movie on Netflix. It’s the perfect Thursday night, and I couldn’t have asked for a better night than this.
We’re sitting on his couch, eating noodles from a white container and occasionally laughing at the movie playing in front of us. Everything is going well until I see him practically spacing out, and he seems to no longer be in the room with me. He’s barely eating anymore, pushing around the noodles in his container. His mind is obviously somewhere else.
“All okay?” I ask as the movie comes to a close.
He picks up the remote and turns on the news instead. “Yeah, babe. All is fine. Why?”
“Your face says otherwise, and you’ve barely touched your food, which you normally love. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
He lets out a relaxed breath and then his whole expression changes. I know something is up. As if on cue, he says, “I need to tell you something.”
Immediately after saying those words, he rises from the couch and walks to the window nearest to his fireplace. He has his back turned toward me and, as he looks out of the window, he’s obviously deep in thought.
“What’s up?” I ask. He’s acting weird. He’s never pulled away from me like this before. Is he breaking up with me? He’s been the only good thing in my life in so long. Is it all ending now? I know I probably shouldn’t think like this, but I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose him, but how can I not think the worst?
The silence is killing me, and I’m afraid to ask anything further, but I do because I have to know. I have to know what is going on. “Is everything okay?”
He turns around to face me but still keeps his place near the window. Leaning against it, he says, “I need to be truthful with you. I’ve been trying to find the right moment to tell you this, but it always seemed like it was never the time.” He pauses for a second, takes a deep breath and then says, “Do you remember when you asked me a while back how come I’m single?”
Oh my God. He’s not single. He’s still married and now he’s coming clean about it all. I knew this was too good to be true. Why would a perfect man like Zander be single? I’m such an idiot for falling for the lies once again.
I nod, but say nothing and just let him continue. I can’t say anything because this is it and it’s all falling apart. Just like my last relationship.
“I told you that my wife left me, and I know that sounded like she just walked out on me. But she didn’t. I wish that was it, but unfortunately, it wasn’t that. I couldn’t bear to tell you that when she left me, I meant she left this earth. She didn’t just walk away and run off into the arms of another man. She died… tragically, and it was all my fault.”
My mouth forms an O. That was not what I was expecting at all. “What are you talking about, Zander? And how is it your fault that she passed away?” I ask, unable to understand.
“I couldn’t save her. I let Maddie down… I let her down. I saved everyone else, but her… and one other lady,” he adds hesitantly. He sucks in a breath and then continues. “A fire broke out three years ago at the elementary school in town. Maddie was a teacher there. I lost her that day and have never forgiven myself for not being able to get her out. She was six months pregnant with our first child.”
Oh my God. How devastating. Now I know why he couldn’t tell me sooner. This is hard for him and he’s blaming himself. He lost his wife and his unborn child and he feels like it’s his fault. How could anyone forgive themselves after feeling that way?
And then it hits me.
He said the elementary school in town.
Three years ago.
Could it be?
“Glimerton Elementary School… three years ago?” I ask, my stomach forming knots.
“Yeah. Glimerton Elementary School. All the kids made it out safely and most of the staff… except for my wife, who was the kindergarten teacher there, as well as the fourth-grade teacher.”
Glimerton Elementary School three years ago where my mother was the fourth grade teacher. She lost her life as well.
“That was my mom, Lynette Darling. She was the fourth-grade teacher at Glimerton Elementary School three years ago. She died in that fire.” Tears well up in my eyes.
“I know… and that’s what I needed to be truthful with you about…”
The realization hits me. He knew and he couldn’t tell me about his wife because of my mom.
“Serenity, I am so sorry. I can’t believe things happened the way they did. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn’t want you to hate me. I realized it the moment I walked into the store and saw the photograph of you with your family… I remembered seeing you at the funeral for your mom. I was there, and I saw you then. But I blocked out things from the past because I hated myself for what I let happen.” He pauses for a moment and then adds, “It’s all my fault that they’re gone.” A forlorn expression forms on his face.
