Page 1 of Written in the Stars
ZANDER
It’s funny how in the blink of an eye, everything can change. One minute you’re making dinner plans, trying to figure out what movie to watch on TV, and the next, you’re making funeral arrangements. What was so important just that morning no longer matters.
I throw back the bottle, letting the cold beer coat the back of my throat. It’s the only comfort I’ve had in the last couple of days. How the hell could shit change so drastically in just the blink of an eye?
“So?” Matt’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts and back into reality.
“Huh?”
He frowns, obviously disappointed that I haven’t heard a single thing he’s said to me.
I shrug. Of course I feel bad, but I’m not really sorry. I think if he was going through the same thing I am, he would feel the exact way.
Matt stretches his arms. “I know it’s hard, man. I can’t imagine going through what you are. I just want you to know that the guys and I are here for you if you need anything, ever.” He pats me on the back and then takes a swig of his own beer.
He’s the last one left; everyone else had gone home hours ago, but Matt was like that. He didn’t want to leave me alone. He’s my best friend. But he speaks the truth. I know everyone on the force would definitely give their last penny to a brother. We’re a family, and that’s what we do. That’s what the Glimerton Fire Department is all about.
I nod. “I appreciate it, man.”
“No problem. Have you given it any more thought?”
I think over his words. It’s been three days since the fire, but I haven’t changed my mind since I first told him I would leave the force two days ago.
I shake my head. I know what he wants to hear, but I haven’t wavered from my first decision at all. I can’t. How the hell can I go back to fighting fires when it’s just a fucking horrible reminder every single time.
The black smoke. The blazing fire.
The stopping of her beating heart.
I have to squeeze my eyes shut to fight back the tears.
Taking another swig, I shake my head and say, “Nope. I’m sorry, bro. I’ve made up my mind. There’s no turning back. I’m handing in my immediate resignation in the morning, probably via email. I would do it now, but I can’t think straight.”
Matt lets out a deep sigh and then rises to his feet. Placing his empty bottle down onto the table to his right, he says, “Well, this is my two cents, and you can take it with a grain of salt or leave it, but I really don’t think you should quit.”
I rise from my seat and also place my bottle of beer down onto the table. “What?”
He walks toward my front door, and I follow him.
As he pulls it open and turns around to face me, he says, “Look, I get it’s a painful reminder. I get that, but we’re firefighters. Fighting fires is all we know. I joined this force because I believed in helping and saving people, and I put my life on the line every single day. But it’s what I do and I love it.” He pauses for a moment and says, “And I know you do, too. I know you do this for the same reasons I do.”
I swallow thickly. “That was a long time ago; that’s all over now.”
He nods, but waves a dismissive hand in my direction. “Maybe so. But instead of giving your resignation, why don’t you just tell Calloway you need some time off.”
Now he’s talking crazy. There’s no way the chief will give me the time off I’ll be needing after all of this. Plus, the truth of the matter is that I no longer want to do this. My reason for doing it is gone. I don’t have that desire, that drive, any more.
Still, I don’t completely blow him off. “I don’t know, Matt…”
“Just think about it before you say anything. You’ve already got a bit of time off because of what happened. Take the next couple of days to think before you say anything to Chief Calloway.” He looks out the door and then faces me once more. “Think about it, will ya?”
I nod, even though I don’t know if there really is anything left to think about. I’ve pretty much already made a decision.
He offers me a small smile and says, “Well, I’d better run.”
He’s been here long enough, and I know he’s due at the firehouse at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning.
“If you need anything, and I mean anything, even just to vent or talk, don’t hesitate to call… no matter the time. You hear me?”
