“I can’t get enough of your lips.”
“Good,” she said, snagging another kiss.
“You want to watch a movie?”
She nodded, and I grabbed the remote and scrolled through the on-demand movies. We agreed on a rom-com, and then I pulled her back to my front, loving the feel of her skin pressed to mine. Throughout the movie, her fingers would trail up and down my hand or lace together with my own as she tugged it close to her chest.
I would breathe in her hair, loving the way it tickled my nose. If I could make her a part of me, I would.
By the time the movie was over, she was already passed out. I slipped out from behind her and then picked her up from the couch, her body curling into me as I carried her up the stairs to the guest room. Once I had her settled, on a whim, I decided to lay down with her. She, again, curled her body into mine as soon as I settled next to hers and I wrapped her in my arms. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, especially since I knew nights were rough when flashbacks happened during the day.
“Fuck, Cal. How can this be wrong when it feels so good? It feels good, doesn’t it?”
“No!” I shouted, jerking up in bed. The air chilled my sweat-slicked skin. I jerked again when a hand landed on my arm.
“Hey,” Oaklyn’s soft voice reached me in the dark. “It’s okay. It’s just me.”
“Fuck,” I whispered past my panting. “I’m sorry.” My body began to tremble as I came down from the rush of adrenaline. “I’m so sorry, Oak.”
Her fingers slowly linked to mine, giving me a chance to pull away. The bed shifted as she scooted closer. On instinct, I leaned into her, allowing her to fall back and take me with her.9I stretched my arm, letting the long strands of her hair drape over my fingers and rested my head on her chest. Her hair always seemed to be my anchor to reality. When we fooled around, my hand found its way into the strands, holding them tight as she wrapped her lips around my cock. As she kissed me and stroked her hand up and down my cock. I always held tight.
Listening to her heartbeat, I tried to match my breathing to it. Tried to match the slow rise and fall of her chest. Tried to get lost in the heat of her skin pressing to my cheek. My other hand leisurely stroked across her stomach, fighting the urge to wrap tight around her and squeeze her to me as if I could make us one. As if she were closer, I could use her strength and finally let it all go.
As I held her, she held me. Her fingers slipping softly between the strands of my hair, sending goose bumps down my neck and back. She never tried to push me to talk about it, never made a big deal out of the way my body trembled against hers. She just held me as I came down from my nightmare.
When the shaking finally stopped, she asked, “Do you want to head to your room?”
“Yeah,” I agreed, embarrassed. “I don’t want to, but it may be for the best.”
Thank god she couldn’t see the fire burning my cheeks in the dark.
“Okay.” She placed a soft kiss to the crown of my head, and we sat up. I hadn’t expected her to hold my hand and lead the way, but she did like it was her own home. I showed her which door was mine and she didn’t unlink our fingers until we reached my bed. With a gentle kiss to my chest, she let go of my hand and walked toward the bathroom. She filled up one of the cups next to the sink and brought it back to me where I stood frozen, watching her movements in the dark.
“Drink. It’ll help.”
I dutifully took the cup and drank it all. She grabbed it from me and set it on the nightstand before ordering me to lay down. I almost laughed at the way she tucked me in, but it died before it started when she leaned over me and pushed my hair back from my face. Her golden eyes seemed to glow in the darkness and shine a light for me.
“You are one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever known, and I’m so grateful for any of the trust you place in me.”
I lifted my hand to her cheek and brushed my thumb across the soft skin before pulling her down for a kiss.
“I’m a fucking lucky man,” I whispered against her lips.
She gave one last kiss. “I’ll be right down the hall. Have sweet dreams, Cal.”
I did.
I dreamed of making love to her under the stars.10
chaptertwenty-five
Oaklyn
You’re on a stage.Just like an actress on Broadway.
They had to get naked and at least pretend to perform sexual acts too. This was exactly the same.
But no matter how many times I tried to remind myself of all the things I’d said before, nothing rid me of the weight pressing down on my chest.
