Less than a second later, Hawk lets himself in without a knock and his gun aimed. I have to say, this isn’t the birth plan I had in mind.
“What’s going on?” His voice is low and rough.
I pant through the contraction. “I think I’m in labor.”
His eyes go wide. “Fuck no.”
“Fuck yes,” I pant. “Help me up. I need to drive to the hospital.”
“It’s a forty-five-minute drive from here. Will you make it?”
I know he means well, but his questions are making things worse. I wish Dodge were here. His presence alone makes everything better.
Hawk pulls out his phone. “I’m going to call Dodge. He doesn’t need to go after this guy tonight.”
Finally, we agree on something.
I stand from the edge of the bed and make my way toward the attached bathroom. It’s a beautiful room with natural pine floors and the scent of the forest everywhere. Dodge has taken his time with small wildlife carvings and accents to make the space unique… which is why I feel even more guilty when my water breaks.
As the sloshing sound hits the floors, I glance up at Hawk. He’s a big man. A very big man. He’s bearded, with loads of tattoos. I’d bet he’s spent days under the needle if you add all the time together, but something about a woman’s bodily fluids on the floor makes him look like he’s about to go down.
“You’re okay.” I waddle toward him. “Can you get me a clean shirt from Dodge’s room?”
He nods, still holding the phone on his shoulder. Dodge hasn’t picked up yet. That’s not like him. I’m sure he’d answer right away, or at the very least call right back.
What if something happened?
With my hand on my lower back, I waddle toward the bed, and try to breathe through every worry and pressure that’s working through my body. How is this happening right now?
Hawk returns with a clean t-shirt with a bass on the front. “I can’t get him on the phone. I’m going to call the hospital. I don’t want you delivering in the truck. Maybe we should make a house call to Dr. Stevens. I’m sure she’d come right up here.”
“That won’t work. Ambulatory services would take too long.”
His brows crinkle. “Doc Stevens isn’t with the ambulance folks. She’s a house doctor.”
I huff out a heavy breath as another contraction squeezes down. With this one is an urge to push.
Fuck!
“I’m sorry, Mr. Hawk, but I’m not sure I have time to go over the list of providers. I think the baby is coming.” My tone is ragged and sarcastic.
He nods and meets me at my side. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve never…”
“Call Dr. Stevens. I’ll pay her whatever she wants,” I pant. “And try Dodge again.”
Hawk brushes his big hand down over his beard and stalks out of the room nodding. His eyes are glued open. I don’t think he’s blinked in ten minutes. I never thought I’d be the reasonable one in a room, but here we are.
Closing my eyes, I focus on breathing and counting down from ten. I should’ve taken all those breathing classes, but I got in my head, and everything else seemed more important.
The crib. I haven’t even assembled the crib! Where am I going to put this thing?
Hawk comes back with the same nervous energy he left with. “Turns out Dr. Stevens retired a few years ago.”
I blow out a heavy breath. “Okay… what do we do?”
“It can’t be that hard, right? I’ve delivered baby cows and horses.”
My heart sinks, squeezes, falls, stops, and does all things that hearts do when they don’t want any of what’s about to happen. I’m not ready to be someone’s mother. I’ve never changed a diaper. I’ve never breastfed. I don’t know what to do when kids bite. I don’t know what to say when teenagers act out. I don’t know how to tell a little boy about girls, or hunting, or fishing, or whatever else it is that little boys like.I don’t know anything!
