“I’m sorry,” I murmur, unable to stop myself from reaching out for her. She doesn’t resist as I pull her into my embrace, wrapping my arms around her as our naked bodies press together. “I’m so sorry, little dove.”
She doesn’t speak again, but she lets me hold her, a tangled mess of emotions swirling between us—grief and regret and need and exhaustion all rolled into one.
I know things aren’t fixed between us. She may understand why I did what I did in some sense, but it doesn’t undo the hurt I caused her. It doesn’t change my complicated feelings toward her family.
Still, as we lie together in bed, a growing certainty fills my heart.
Rose is mine.
Not the way Dmitri wanted to make her his. Not a toy to be played with, broken, and tossed aside. Butmine, body, heart, and soul. She’s the only woman I will ever want.
And somehow, I’ll find a way to make her see that.
CHAPTER23
Rose
Over the next several days, something seems to shift between Aiden and me. Even the air in the house feels different, less fraught with tension—or at least, full of a different kind of tension.
Aiden and his brothers begin to make funeral arrangements for their mother, and I do my best to help with what I can. The men are all grieving, and the next time I see him, Finn looks like he’s been on a serious bender.
But they’re all still alive, all still pushing forward, and it’s clear they have each other’s backs.
Aiden and I have still been sleeping in the same bed, but we haven’t had sex again since the night his mother died. I want to—fuck, I can’t stop thinking about the way it felt to have him inside me—but after everything he told me that night, I’ve had a lot to sort through in my head.
Everything he did, the way he hurt me… he said it was to protect me. I hate that he thinks I can’t protect myself, hate that he chose to hurt me because of what could’ve happened. I hate that he never told me the danger I was in. As if ignorance was any better than what he did.
But at the same time, every time I think of Willow and her hollow eyes and listless demeanor, I can’t help feeling a rush of relief that it isn’tmewalking through the world like a ghost.
Aiden did the one thing he could think of that would end Dmitri’s sick obsession with me—and it worked. Dmitri moved on, and I was able to leave Boston, go to school, and live a normal life. My heart may have been broken, but at least my body and spirit weren’t.
It’s still hard to forgive Aiden, but at the same time, knowing the truth gives me a sense of peace, as if the wound in my heart has been lanced and can finally start healing properly.
And I don’t know what it means that he told me now.
Does he want our marriage to be more than a sham, more than a business arrangement or a wedding in name only? Does he want something real with me, or was his confession just a result of his turbulent emotions after losing his mother?
I spend days turning those thoughts over and over in my head, and by the end of the week, I join Aiden and his family at the St. Joseph Catholic Church for Siobhan’s funeral.
There are Assembly members here, a few people I vaguely recognize occupying seats apart from everyone else. My father is here, and Dmitri and Willow are too, sitting with the other important people near the front.
Since the night the O’Reillys negotiated with Dad for the marriage contract that would bind our families together, I’ve spoken to my father a few times. I’ve tried to reassure him that I’m okay, but I know he still blames himself for what happened. For not being able to prevent it.
If I told him that I’m no longer sure I even want to get out of this marriage arrangement, what would he say? Would he believe me?
Would it change any of the animosity between him and the O’Reillys?
I’m not sure it would, and now isn’t the time to stir up mafia grudges, so I just spoke to him quietly for a few minutes before the service, then gave him a quick hug and returned to Aiden’s side.
As the funeral begins, I hold tight to Aiden’s hand. I don’t know if that small gesture will be welcome, but he doesn’t push me away, threading his fingers through mine and gripping tightly.
I listen to the words that people speak, the way they talk about his mother. It’s poignant. Everyone loved her, or so they say—and I really believe it. People are crying, really crying, like they’ve lost someone irreplaceable. Important.
When the service ends, Aiden goes to stand with his brothers and accept the words of the mourners. I slip away to give him some room, and as I do, I catch sight of Willow hanging around near the pews.
After glancing around the church quickly, I make my way toward her. Dmitri makes my skin crawl now that I know the truth about him, but I feel even worse for Willow. She isn’t just a sad addict anymore. She’s a sad, abused addict. I’ve only had a glimpse of what she must suffer, and I can imagine just how bad it probably is behind closed doors.
“Hey, Willow,” I say, giving her a small wave as I approach.
