Rose makes a small noise of shock, a wordless exhale. “Me? Why?”
“I don’t know. Our families had no grudge against each other, so I don’t think it was about me. I’m not sure why he decided it had to be you. I just know that he wouldn’t stop. He would talk about it all the fucking time.”
“About marrying me?”
“No.” I grit my teeth, trying to force myself to calm down before I speak again. The words are bringing memories back. Bad ones.
Dmitri knew I was with Rose, even though we kept our relationship mostly a secret, not flaunting it around the school. But he didn’t give a shit that she was taken. Didn’t care that she didn’t want him.
“What did he talk about then?” Rose presses. “If not about marrying me, then what?”
I almost don’t want to say it, but I do.
“He talked about what he’d do to youafterhe married you,” I grit out. “It made me want to fucking kill him.”
I could have her begging on her knees.Dmitri’s voice floats through my mind, smug and taunting.Have you seen her mouth? It would look damn good with my cock in it.
I nearly fucking killed him for saying that. But I couldn’t. It would’ve set off a war between our families and possibly gotten my brothers and my father killed.
“The Raven Syndicate was powerful enough that if he wanted you, he could have had you,” I say. “His father was prepared to make any offer to get his son the wife he wanted, and…” My jaw clenches so tight my teeth ache. “Dmitri was obsessed with having a virgin bride.”
Horror and understanding bloom across Rose’s face. “Oh my god. So you…”
“I did something unforgivable,” I say shortly. I swallow past the lump forming in my throat and push on. “Like I said, Dmitri was obsessed. He wanted to…break a woman in.Like a goddamn animal.”
“Fuck. Oh god.”
I can feel Rose shrink into herself, repulsed by the thought. I remember the first time I heard Dmitri say the words that made me realize he wouldn’t stop.
I’d like to see her bleed for me,he said.She has to be broken in. House trained, so she knows the minute I get home, I want her to have her legs spread. She’ll be mine, anyway. Mine to fuck as hard as I want. As many times as I want.
It made me sick. He didn’t give a shit about Rose. He just wanted someone to use as a toy, and he wanted the power and control of ruining something precious.
A nice cunt to warm my cock,Dmitri said once, laughing. That was the last thing he said before I lost control and drove my fist into his jaw.
“He was fascinated with the idea of taking his wife’s virginity. I knew he wouldn’t want anyone he thought was less than that,” I say thickly. “He wouldn’t want someone who was… damaged goods.”
The words burn on my tongue, and I hate myself more in this moment than I ever have.
But I did what I thought I had to do.
“So I ruined you,” I say quietly, holding Rose’s gaze as I speak. “I took what he wanted most, and I made sure everyone knew it.”
“Aiden…” Tears gleam in Rose’s eyes, pain passing through her features, but she doesn’t say anything else.
“We got into a fight after that day,” I continue. “Almost killed each other. Dmitri was beyond angry. He was beyond rage. He went at me, and I fought back. But in the end, he stopped looking at you. I won. I wanted him to never look at you again. I wouldn’t let him have you. Wouldn’t let him hurt you.”
Rose is quiet. I can almost hear her heartbeat. I wonder if this will mean anything to her. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness, and if she won’t give it, I’ll have to fucking live with that.
I’ve done it this long.
But I desperately want her to understand. After all this time spent keeping the truth from her, I want Rose to know why I did what I did. I want her to know that I didn’t feel like I had a choice. I just wanted her to be safe.
After my father’s death, I almost let my rage turn me into a monster just like Dmitri, but I could never be that kind of man. Even when I hated Rose the most, even when I tried to hate her, I could never truly hurt her. I could never let the beast inside me harm her.
Dmitri, on the other hand, would’ve tortured her with a smile. I couldn’t let him do that. Even thinking about it now makes fury bubble inside my veins.
“The gala,” Rose finally says, her tone subdued. “This explains what happened that night.”
