“Cool. I’m visiting. Or… I’m not sure,” I admit.
It’s easy to talk to Noah. I know he doesn’t know much about the Assembly. He’s not part of a mafia family. He knows what everyone at Battle Hill Prep knew, but he’s not in the thick of it.
He wouldn’t know about the truth.
I’m sure Noah remembers what happened between Aiden and me, as public as it was. Maybe he doesn’t want to acknowledge it, though, or maybe he’s just comfortable not having to.
“Well, you should stick around,” Noah says. “They cleaned up the shopping center. We even have a legitimate Gucci now.”
“Oh, how distinguished,” I reply, laughing. We all used to hang out at the same place in high school. There was a yogurt place that always seemed half-broken down, but we loved it anyway.
Noah watches me with a pleased little smile. I wonder if he’s not used to having good conversations with old high school acquaintances, or maybe he’s just glad talking to me didn’t blow up in his face. “You know, if you’re around long enough, we should catch up. Maybe do lunch tomorrow?”
His offer is surprising, but not unwelcome. I’d like to get a look around town, but I don’t want to get caught alone by someone I don’t want to see.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m up for it. We can meet at the center, maybe?”
Noah nods. He leans back against the glass display, relaxed. He’s so blessedly normal that I feel like my blood pressure is dropping. I don’t have to worry about what his motive is. He’s just a normal guy talking to me.
Although he probably thinks I’m a normal woman.
“That sounds good,” he says. “How’s one o’clock?”
“Perfect.”
The counter bell rings and I lean over to pick up my food. I remember the car is still outside, so I turn in that direction.
“Sorry to have to run, but I have an Uber waiting. I’m headed home,” I say. “Jet lag.”
“Sure, of course. I didn’t realize you just touched down.” Noah runs a hand through his head of curls, and I can see just the faintest hint of the boy he was in high school.
It’s comforting to know someone hasn’t changed much.
I smile and hold up my sandwich bag. “One o’clock.”
“Oh, here.” Noah turns quickly, taking a pen from the cup next to the register. He scribbles on a napkin and passes it to me. “Just in case. Since you just got back, I know you might get busy. If you need to change our plans, just let me know.”
“That’s probably smart,” I reply. “Well, I’ll see you.”
I can’t wait any longer. I push my way out and wave as I go. The car is still there, thank god, and I realize it’s only been eight minutes. I thank the driver as I get in and toss the sandwich bag into my purse.
It only takes another five minutes for us to pass the ice cream place where Aiden and I went on our second date. I quickly look away, but it’s too late.
I tell myself it’s the lingering onion and smoke from the sandwich shop that’s making my eyes sting, but I know it’s a lie.
Maybe I never should have come back. Four years did me good. I was able to piece myself together, harden my heart, and learn not to fall in love so easily, but now that I’m back, it feels like a dam is about to burst in my chest.
All the reinforcements I’ve surrounded my heart with do nothing against the bursts of memory and emotion that keep slipping through the cracks. The pressure is too much, and it’s threatening to drown me the same way it did back then.
I close my eyes and clutch my phone tightly in my hand. I can survive this. I’m stronger than the heartbroken teenage girl I once was.
But if I have to see Aiden, I don’t know what I’ll do.
I’m not sure I’ll survive it. I’m not sure what I’ll even say. And how can I avoid him when our families are two parts of the underside of Boston?
One thing is certain: if our paths cross, I won’t be leaving Boston the same woman that I am now.
Again.
