But as I glance at Rose now, her body close to mine, her lips slightly parted, heat burns in my veins alongside the anger that’s festered there for so long.
I’ve only fucked her once, but even that one time was enough for me to know that I was addicted to her.
And now? I still want her, despite everything.
I throw the covers off and go to the shower. This chaotic mess of emotions can’t control me.
Fucking hell, I won’t let it.
But I also can’t stay beside her when all I can think about is her soft, yielding body and her delicate touch. I’m supposed to be holding her hostage, using her as a pawn against her father, but in this moment, that’s the furthest thing from my mind.
And that’s a problem.
I’ll handle this somehow, but right now, all I know is the consuming need I feel.
Reaching down, I fist my cock as the water pours down on me, groaning at the small relief of feeling my own hand wrap around my shaft.
Gritting my teeth, I think about Rose lying on the bed, hair fanned across the pillow, smooth skin contrasting with the dark sheets. I think about the way her nipples are hard under her borrowed shirt, the morning air cool against her body.
God, there are so many filthy things I want to do to her.
I could lift her legs over my shoulders and fuck her, watch her face as she tries to deny what she’s feeling. I could turn her over, push her into the pillows so I don’t have to look, don’t have to remind myself that I’m betraying my family and myself.
I could finger her, driving her even closer to the edge while she twists on the sheets. I’m sure she would try to fight that too. I wonder how many times I could make her come before she gives up on the charade. Once? Twice?
But that’s not what I think about as the hot water rains down on my back.
No. The image that sticks in my mind is of her lips wrapped around my cock. I can imagine what her mouth would look like, pretty and pink, stretched just to fit me.
My jaw clenches as I think about what it would feel like to have Rose’s silky hair tangled tight in my fist, holding her in place as I drove all the way into the back of her throat. I’d make her suck my cock until she begged to be fucked. She would get wet while I slid in and out of her mouth, making her breathless and red.
I think about tugging at her hair when she stays too long at the base of my cock, urging her to move faster. I wonder if she’d moan when I pull.
I wonder if anyone has ever been rough with her before, or if she’s only had useless lovers.
Has anyone taught her what true pleasure can feel like? The wild, dangerous, consuming kind?
Fuck, I want to show her that.
I imagine just what it would feel like to fuck her mouth and have her hands cling to my legs, her nails digging in as she tries not to gag.
Rose would shut her eyes, try to touch herself. I’d pull her hands up and hold her wrists so she couldn’t. She’d look up at me, pleading, but I wouldn’t let her find relief. I’d make her wait for me.
I think about Rose moaning around my cock. I think about her breathing hard through her nose, clinging desperately to me as she takes me in.
I think about Rose’s tongue pressed to my dick and the sound of her sucking on it, lips popping as she comes off, breathing hard.
Would she ask for me? Beg?
Maybe she would deny it the entire time. Rose is defiant. I know it. She’d probably act unaffected, but I’d be able to see the truth in her eyes, in the way she touched me. I would hold her chin and tell her to be good. I’d put my hand on her throat and pull her back to me, guiding my cock into her mouth. I’d listen as she took me all the way.
My hand tightens. I can almost feel her, feel Rose whimper against my dick, feel the vibrations in her throat as I ram faster and harder into her mouth.
I can feel the heat of her body. I can feel how wet and tight she’d be. I can feel her throat under my hand, feel her tongue flick against the head of my cock, teasing me. I can feel her hand on the base of my cock, her fingers curved perfectly around it, as tight as she is inside.
I come hard, just the way I want to pour into her throat.
Except instead of Rose, all I have is the wall before me.
