There are two emotions, two responses that immediately jump to mind. The first is denial. I want to say no, to put my foot down and prove myself. I want to see this through. It frightens me how stuck my father seems, how much he seems unable to fight this.
The second thought I have is to run—not just out of the building, but out of the state. I want to run far away, away from the past I thought I was done with that clearly isn’t done with me. Anything in the world would be better than this. Anywhere in the world would feel safer than this overcrowded table does right now.
I can’t leave my father, but I don’t want this.
I can’t do this.
My heart stutters, surging into my throat and making it hard to breathe. I shove my chair back, a little less artfully than I hoped. I don’t say anything. I just slip away and start walking as fast as I can.
I’m almost running. I can hear the low click of my block heels and some distant, panicking part of my brain is glad I wore something I could get away in.
I know why he told me to run. I half expect to hear gunshots or raised voices. I have to fight the urge to go back and protect my father, and the knowledge that I could never be strong enough to help. Not really.
Not against all of the O’Reilly brothers.
My legs feel wobbly as I stride down a hall, the walls seeming to close in around me. The door that opens onto the ally at the back of the restaurant is right up ahead, calling my name, telling me to get out before it’s too late.
I don’t make it.
Someone catches my arm, and I gasp. I’ve choked back so much fear that I can’t even scream. For a fleeting moment, I wonder if my father is dead. If I’m next.
The hand yanks me around, and I awkwardly stumble backward. My back hits the wall, the textured brick bumpy through the thin fabric of my dress.
My heart pounds in my chest as Aiden glares down at me.
He has me pinned, caging me in. I can smell his cologne, a grown-up version of the same scent he liked in high school. It smells warm and musky, like spices on a winter day.
I know the feeling of his body close to mine, but not like this. He’s taller now, bigger. It’s somehow alien and painfully familiar all at once. He looms over me, so close that if I closed my eyes, I could pretend we’re in another world, another universe where he never hurt me.
“Think carefully about what you do next,” he says, his voice a low rumble.
I try not to look up at him, but my alternative is to stare at his chest. I hate that my mind races, comparing who he is now to the boy I knew.
What would it be like if nothing bad had ever happened between us? Would he be holding me now, having dinner with my father?
Asking me to marry him, but not doing it to threaten the only person I care about?
“Fight all you want,” Aiden says. He’s almost whispering, his breath warm on my skin. “All it will do is get your father killed. And my brothers and I will be glad to do it.”
A spike of fear surges in my heart. I know he’s not bluffing. He was always true to his word, always so sure when he spoke. I can hear the same confidence in his words right now, and I know he’s not lying to me.
My mind races. I don’t know what made him hate my father, what made him so ready to kill. The boy I knew was always willing to fight, but never looking for a fight. What happened? What changed to make him like this—make him so bloodthirsty?
A cold chill runs down my spine, but I try to hide it as I square my shoulders, staring defiantly up at him.
“I know the rules of the Assembly. You can’t kill each other.”
The blue of Aiden’s eyes darkens like a drop of blood falling into a pool of clear water. His jaw clenches.
“There are ways around that. Are you willing to risk it?”
No. I swallow, barely able to breathe.
“Why? Why do you want to marry me? You hate me.”
Some part of me expects him to deny that, to tell me I’m wrong. I know, because when he doesn’t deny it, I feel like I’m dying inside all over again.
There’s a cold triumph in Aiden’s eyes, a satisfaction when he looms over me. This isn’t just about duty for him, not just because his family asked him to marry me and he couldn’t say no. He’s pleased with himself, I realize. It makes my gut twist.
