A WEIGHT CRUSHED LUCIFER’S chest. It had begun as a cold, hollow stone embedded where his heart should’ve been. The short trip back through the black hole had fueled it, causing it to grow into a boulder too heavy for any lost soul to push up the never-ending hill in one of Hell’s many dimensions.
Lucifer had yearned to console Diana, to let her know that despite the interruption, what he felt had been real. If Olivier had not shown up, he would’ve enjoyed eternity making love to her, physical body or not. Just the two of them... forever. The moment he’d heard his brother’s gruff chuckle, all passion had been leached from his spirit, leaving only a hollow husk empty of joy and hope.
Every word, every hurt-filled glance from Diana had cut him deeply. He’d deserved all of it. The Pit was the more appropriate place for him. He should’ve never given in to temptation, should’ve never allowed himself to enjoy the tender fruit of her kiss, should’ve never soiled her purity, should’ve never wanted what he’d wanted... what he still wanted.
Damn Olivier!
No, he should be grateful. Although he’d interrupted the most pleasurable experience of Lucifer’s existence, Olivier had proven to be the hero. He’d risked it all to save them from the black hole.
Perhaps longing to be alone with Diana, he’d not even considered that he could’ve freed them, could’ve flown them both to safety. That was the problem. With her near, thinking was impossible.
He’d wanted to assure her, comfort her, and protect her. Instead, he’d been too horrified by his own guilt to realize that he’d hurt Diana with his silence... and not defending her honor.
But no one could’ve succeeded as well as she’d done in that measure. She’d been fierce, a raging fire who didn’t spare anyone or anything. What a temper! Trouble was, instead of placing her in a negative light in his eyes, it’d made her even more lovely with her cheeks flushed the color of pomegranates and her honeyed eyes glittering with ice. A fierce warrior goddess! Who had ever dared to declare her as a fragile female god, not worthy of battle, had never witnessed her in all her glory.
And he was the source of her dismay.
Why hadn’t he told Olivier to fuck off or punched the prick’s snide smile off his face? Instead, he’d been worried about no one finding out what he’d done. All because his ego couldn’t accept that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t perfect and everyone else would discover that as well. Then perhaps his father would, too. Would he love him still? The Creator had cast out many others for far less than what he’d done, but also forgiven those who’d committed greater sins. Not because he was fickle, but because he saw into the truth of the heart of each soul.
At the moment, Lucifer doubted his own would hold up under such scrutiny.
He turned to follow Diana, but Olivier stepped in his path, his face stern, no longer any amusement twinkling in his eyes, no cockeyed grin to mask his mirth. “No, brother. The best course of action when a female is angry at you is to let them simmer for a bit until they cool down. If you go after her now, you may be roasting on a spit as our dinner.”
“But we don’t know what’s out there. She could be in danger. What if I can’t get to her?” He threw off Olivier’s hand that had clamped down on his shoulder only to be rewarded with that annoying chuckle again.
“I dare any creature, great or small, to so much as glance in her direction. I’d wager the armory of Heaven on her against anything when she’s this mad. You notice, I didn’t try to stop her from leaving. Not out of lack of concern for her safety. But I know when to get out of the way of danger and when to step in. That’s a lesson you need to learn, my brother. Especially if you intend to woo her back into your arms.”
Olivier slapped him on the back so hard Lucifer stumbled forward.
“I will not be trying to woo her! I wasn’t trying earlier. It just...”
“Happened?” Olivier filled in, his lips twitching upward.
Lucifer swallowed down the fresh guilt attached to that word.
“It’s okay, Lucifer. Your secret is safe with me. Whatever you do with the goddess, or anyone, is your business. I would never betray your secret or your trust. I did mean what I said.”
“Then what was with all the huffing and sneering earlier? You were angry yourself. Now you’re making out like you’re my biggest fan and playing matchmaker despite knowing it’s not allowed.”
Even speaking the words out loud didn’t dull the thread of panic racing through his mind. He’d come so close to the ultimate sin for an angel, other than outright rebellion. He had been moments away from damning himself... all for a few precious moments of bliss. And he knew, deep to the very core of his being, that he would’ve committed that sin over and over for eternity and been happier than he’d ever been. Happiness for a moment. Torment forever. Had it been just him, Lucifer knew he’d accept his fate for that one moment.
But he also knew he could never have justified his actions if it meant damning Diana as well. Those that tempted the righteous found themselves in far more precarious positions when faced with their sin.
Olivier stared at him. Lines creased his forehead and his eyes narrowed to slits. “Brother, I apologize. I did not mean for my behavior to come across so gruffly. My anger was not directed at you, but at myself. If I had let Diana’s creepy servant float off into the far reaches of space and rushed to you instead, none of this would’ve happened. It is my own guilt that plagues and confounds me. For I should be furious at you. I should report back to our father your behavior. I know that. But truth be told, I could never betray you. If you were to be punished, I would follow you into the Pit myself. But let’s face it... neither of us wishes to be cast out. Doesn’t mean that my heart wouldn’t rejoice in your newfound—yet momentary—happiness. Your entire existence has been about obedience, loyalty, selflessness, love for others but never for yourself. This brings me pain, to know that you give so much but never take for yourself.”
A hand clamped down on Lucifer’s shoulder again. “It is my love for you, brother, that I desire to see you happy... and the lovely goddess”—his neck tilted, indicating the path Diana had taken away from them—“makes you delirious. You smile. You laugh. Your eyes darken with desire for her. Never have you shown so much as an iota of interest in anyone or anything, other than serving the Creator and his creations. Seeing how she returns your feelings, well, I have to admit, there was a sharp twinge in my heart. The mortals speak of this apparition called a soul mate. If we angels could indeed have another being to which we were so intimately and divinely connected, it would be Diana for you. Why discovering such a thing should be deemed a sin, I do not understand.”
The words found their mark in Lucifer’s heart. Yes, he had denied himself pleasure in all forms, always. He’d witnessed the joy of others when they’d discovered love, and when that love went wrong and turned to apathy or spite. Regardless, love had always intrigued him. But when it had been freely offered to him, what had he done? He’d rejected her... twice. He was no more worthy of her love than a Stymphalian man-eating bird.
That was his true sin. Unworthiness.
“Wait.” His head shot up, certain words punching through the fog of thoughts. “Diana’s servant? Puck, was it? You were able to save him?”
She’d be so relieved. It had torn her heart in two when she’d thought he was dead. At least he could give her back something.
Olivier’s laugh shook the branches of the tree he stood underneath. “Not only that, but I have a gift for you.” His meaty hand tugged something held inside his breastplate. “Probably not in its best shape, but I guarantee with just a couple flares of your divine magic, it’ll be as good as new, if not better.”
Relief flooded Lucifer’s spirit. His vessel, his physical vessel, that he’d discarded in order to race through the stars to save Diana, now fell from Olivier’s grasp. It floated over to him, all skin and hair. It was tarnished from the harsh treatment but appeared to be in decent shape—no appendages cut off, so that was a good start. “Brother, how can I ever repay you?”
