I didn’t think that I could deal with what it meant for me. We still haven’t had sex, and I don’t know if I can right now. As much as I love him, want him,needhim, I can’t bring myself to do more than what we’ve been doing.
Or couldn’t. Right now I can’t bring myself to make him stop.
Heavy make out sessions and dry humping, but never any clothes off. We both know why, even though I don’t bring it up. He mentions it, with small jabs toward Camille, but I always dodge it.
Griffin’s hand falls to my throat, squeezing it just enough to take the edge off my mind spiraling so I can focus on him.
“That’s it. Eyes on me, sweetheart.” He rewards me with a kiss, stealing the last bit of breath from my lungs.
The blood rushes to my face, and I focus on collecting tiny breaths of air. A satisfied smirk falls on his face, his pupils blown. The savage in him is coming out, the man who takes control of me when I need it, and lets me forget about all the ways I can’t control events in my life. The person who steers my ship and heads straight through the storm instead of away.
My vision blurs, white dots on the horizon. I can’t even focus on Griffin’s face when I start clawing at the hand on my throat. Finally, he releases me. Choking on air, he doesn’t give me much time to focus on catching my breath when he kisses me again.
The fire in my lungs is still there when he pulls away. Standing, he grabs my pants, yanking them off my body. I moan, Griffin’s mouth on my thighs leaving hot open-mouthed kisses. He trails his mouth toward my stomach, up to my nipples, swirling his tongue around them.
I whimper when he pulls away. He chuckles, grabbing my legs and pulling me to the edge of the bed. I lift my knees, opening myself for him while he grabs the bottle of lube in the nightstand. The familiar pop of the lid sends a thrill through me.
Cold liquid slides down me and straight to my hole. I hiss at the cool sensation. Griffin’s fingers slide inside me, pumping in slow agonizing strokes. I’m never full enough of him. “No,” I say, stroking my cock. “Give me your cock, baby.”
A slow grin spreads across his face, a lock of brown hair falling in front of his eyes. “So fucking needy for me. I love it.” Sliding his fingers out of me, I wince when he presses the head of his cock to my asshole. “Take it, Patrick. Let me stretch this tight hole of yours.”
He slides in an inch when I inhale. The burn hurts, but is so satisfying at the same time. We take it slow, each push agonizing and deliberate. I stroke myself in rhythm to his intimate thrusts. My chest tightens when he finally slams full into me, filling me in the best way.
Moving my hand from my cock, he takes control of all of my pleasure, jerking me off while he pounds into me. Growls and grunts leave his lips, sending tingles through my spine. I love the way he sounds when he’s feeling good, and I love that I’m the one he’s losing himself with.
I’ve always reveled in watching him take what he needs, and get so hot when it’s me he’s taking it from me. It goes beyond the sex. It’s s the way we’re connected. Childhood best friends to brothers in arms to lovers. Michael Griffin holds a piece of my soul that I’d never get back. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same if we part the way we did again.
Warmth spreads through the veins in my cock followed by the pressure. I’m so close, too close to stop. “I’m coming.” I moan through the sensation, the pumping of his hand picking up. I ride my high with him, and for a split second, the burden of my fucked up life is gone.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Camillesitsacrossfromme, her face pale with bags under her eyes. She’s not sleeping, and I actually feel bad for her. Like maybe a miniscule amount, nothing to write home to, though. Her belly has doubled in size over-night, and she’s been having trouble moving around the past few days that we’ve visited her.
Paddy’s been a trooper, shoving aside the hostile emotions he has for her. And I’ve been channeling the rage I usually have toward her into writing children science books. It’s been a great mind exercise and helps keep me from wanting to be mean.
I even decided to learn to draw my own characters, and made a science beaker look like an animated come to life cartoon. It’s something I’m pretty proud of and can’t wait to really get into.
Callum sits at the head of the table, Haley to his right and Paddy to his left. Giovanni Sorrentino sits next to Camille. It’s the first time I’ve met him. Usually Paddy comes without me to these lunches or dinners. I’ve been lucky enough to be working whenever they’re scheduled.
Though I’ve been controlling these negative emotions, I can’t seem to now. Not in the presence of both of these snakes. When Giovanni tried multiple times to kill me. Today’s a bad day to be a dick, though. Rohan, the leader of the Irish faction in New York, has joined this lunch with his right hand man, Collin.
Scotty is here, too, as well as Sean and Declan. There must be some sort of meeting after this lunch for everyone to be in one place. Mind reeling with curiosity, I remain silent for most of the meal. I know if I speak up, it’ll be something that comes off rude.
Leanne, Callum’s housekeeper, brings out the final course for the meal. Camille makes a gagging sound, her face scrunching up in disgust as Leanna sets a plate of fish and chips in front of her.
The silent treatment is over now. Taking a bite of my fry, I smirk. “Something wrong, Camille?”
Paddy nudges me with his foot, silently telling me to shut the fuck up. I ignore him, watching her as she continues to force out the choking sounds.
“Fish just hasn’t been agreeing with me lately.” She rubs her stomach, glancing at Rohan when she does. Wiping her face, she lets out a whimper. “I’m not feeling well. Could someone help me to my room?”
Rohan stands to help her, the chivalrous asshole, and I roll my eyes in disgust. “It must be hard for you to not be the center of attention,” I say. I grab my drink and take a huge gulp of the water.
“Griffin,” Haley whispers across the table to me.
Paddy elbows me.
“Is something wrong, Michael?” Giovanni asks, shooting me a dirty look.
