That's the last thing she needs.
"Everyone is a hero. It just depends on who's telling the story." She reaches out and takes my clenching fingers in hers, the touch gentle as a feather. Her eyes soften like a sweet declaration of affection. "I've known a lot of people that came from foster care, kids who were beaten and starved every day. What most of them have in common is the fantasy that their bio mom or bio dad would come and save them from the abuse. The situation might not be the same, but you did that for Rowe. Nothing else matters. You were there when he needed you. That's what a dad does."
How is it that I tell her that I'm Rowe's father and she can turn it into some type of fantasy?
"I'm not a dad. I knew he was better off without me. I was never supposed to be a father. It was a mistake." I try to drive the point home, but she just frowns at me.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I want you to know that I do good things sometimes. That doesn’t make me a good person, and you need to remember that. I've done a lot of bad things in my life, and I'll continue to do bad things. It's who I am, and I can't be saved."
She frowns. "You can't or you won't allow yourself to be saved?"
"I don'twantto be saved. Ilikedoing bad things. Ilikehurting people. I especially like hurting you. Don't think just because I brought you to the hospital that you're safe. Even the people that work here won't protect you from me."
Her eyes narrow as she removes her hand from mine, slow and deliberate. "I didn't expect them to."
CHAPTERNINETEEN
ARIA
My road to recovery was even more bumpy than after the accident. The colostomy bag was a pain, and I'm so glad it's gone. I'm all healed up. The only downside is this means I'm going back to Kai's house.
My prison.
The only upside is that the guys will be there. All of them came to visit me, but the most frequent visitors were Rowe and Nico.
Rowe is so brutally honest and tries to hide how much he cares, but I can see it. I see so much of Kai in him, but it's only the good parts, like who he was before everything went down the shitter.
Nico has been so kind, bringing me cookies and different sweets to help me get better. He even brought me the most delicious red velvet cookies he made himself. We talked and laughed and had so much fun hanging out.
The doctor discharged me, and now I just have to wait for Kai to pick me up. Kai isn't the one who walks into my room, though.
The door opens and Knox steps inside. Isn't this a surprising turn of events? I haven't seen Knox since Kai threw me down the stairs. I didn't expect him to show his face since he hasn't come to see me since my surgery.
"Where's Kai?" I ask when he doesn't meet my eyes.
"He…sent me to pick you up."
Is this another torture method? Is this another instance where Kai uses me as a torture device?
Instead of Blaine, it seems Kai is targeting me at Knox which makes sense. Kai didn't like the things that happened with Knox while I was left alone with the guys.
"Okay."
We stand there in an awkward silence. I don't know what to say to him. He's the only one who hasn't been here to make sure I'm okay. Even Dax came, which I was surprised about. Everyone except Knox.
Fuck this. I'm not going to jump around the elephant in the room. That's never been my style and it won't start now.
"Why didn't you come to see me?" I ask, forcing the words out. His eyes flash up to mine and I see the hesitation like a weight on his shoulders. Still, he doesn't speak. "Everyone else did. Not you. Why?" I press again.
This time, he breaks. "You were here because of me."
"No, I wasn't. I was in the hospital because Kai—"
"I know, but he hurt you because of me. It's as simple as that."
He's been avoiding facing me. He feels guilty about what Kai did to me.
