"What? Yeah, of course," I say as I turn to him, the disbelief clear in his eyes.
"Then, why are you crying?"
What? I touch under my left eye and find moisture, tears soaking my fingers. That's not possible. I can't be crying. Not over Kai. It's stupid, insane really.
"No, I'm not." I try to laugh, but instead a sob falls from my lips, the knife in my chest twisting in the wound. Salt from my tears irritate the gash in my heart, intensifying the pain.
"Hey. It's okay," Knox attempts to placate me, taking me in his arms.
"What's wrong with me!" I yell in incredulity and anguish, unable to comprehend whatever is ensuing within my body. This shouldn't hurt. If anything, I should be glad that I don't have to tend to his desires until the morning, but I'm not.
I'm heartbroken and none of it makes any sense. The logic is gone. My sanity has been compromised.
* * *
"That wasn't the step.No one was expecting that," Rowe says as I lay with my head in Nico's lap.
The five of us are in my room. The guys have been being supportive though I know they think I've lost my mind. My tears are a thing of the past, but my chest and throat are raw, including my emotions.
"What was the step?" My voice cracks as Nico's fingers run through my red hair.
"He was supposed to drug Kaylee, force one of us to volunteer to rape her, and make you watch the whole thing. He wasn't supposed to touch her at all," Rowe offers, keeping his eyes on the ground.
The sound of banging reverberates through the walls and I flinch. I didn't think these walls were thin before but I do now.
This is the second time these sounds have come through the wall. They must be going for another round.
"Maybe we should go downstairs. You won't hear it down there," Dax says, softly touching my leg.
"No." I take a deep breath. "It's almost midnight anyway. I won't be able to look or talk to any of you soon. You guys should go. The last thing anyone needs is for me to break any of his rules."
At first, they argue, but even Rowe knows they need to leave. What will the point be for them hanging around after the cut off of myno rulestime frame? If I break a rule, Rowe dies.
"We'll stay until midnight. At least then, we can wish you happy birthday," Knox says cheerfully.
His good mood rubs off on me and I cry again, but this time, it's happy tears.
Dax sets his alarm for midnight and I give each of the guys a hug and a sloppy kiss, knowing I'll never get to kiss them again.
This whole ending is bittersweet. I want it to last forever, but the second the alarm goes off, I drop my head to stare at my hands in my lap.
"Happy birthday to you!" Knox starts singing, a big smile spreading across my face. The others join in and more tears fall as the song progresses, my heart singing along with them.
"Happy birthday, Aria! Happy birthday to … you!" They end together and I laugh happily, but keep my eyes down, not saying a word.
I want to tell them that this moment makes turning eighteen worth it, but my lips stay sealed and my eyes stay down until I hear the door click, announcing their departure.
I lift my head, a frown growing across my face, as more tears fall. I'll never see them again.
Knox Ward.
Nico Mendoza.
Dax Porter.
Rowe Kade.
They've barely been gone for thirty seconds, and I want to roll over and accept defeat. I won't though. Kai would enjoy that too much.
