Page 19 of The Wrong Sister
“What the fuck?” Raff looks at me, his eyes reflecting the surprise I feel.
“I don’t even know! I think I need a minute to process that.”
Rafferty pauses it before the next episode can start and takes our dishes into the kitchen. He comes back with two more beers, hands me one, and crashes back into the sofa. “Spill Meens, what’s bugging you?”
“Ugh. I don’t know if bugging is the right way to put it. That makes it seem like more than it is. It’s just…” I exhale loudly, sitting back and running my hands through my hair. “You know Griffin and Catherine are truly dating?”
“It’s an official thing now?”
“Yeah. He laid it all out like a painfully boring spreadsheet and she agreed it was worth giving it the ol’ college try, complete with a handshake.” I roll my eyes, then shake my head, frustrated with my conflicting emotions. Dumb, dumb feelings. Anger wouldn’t do me dirty like this. “I don’t know how to handle myself here, Raff! I’m not mad at Catherine. I couldn’t be! She has never had any idea that I’ve been into Griffin for years. I’d never tell her that, I don’t want to interfere in what they’re doing. But it still sucks hearing about their dates. I don’t know how to respond, I don’t know how to feel, I hate all of it. I don’t want to keep hurting indefinitely, it’s stupid. I’m pissing myself off!”
“Mina mad? What are the odds?” I punch him in the arm and he has the decency to pretend it hurt. “I get it though, Meens. Truly. I wish I knew what to tell you. You don’t have to ask for details to be supportive. Don’t make it harder on yourself than it needs to be. Meanwhile, you can always talk to me, we’ll have to wait them out.”
“Raff, has there ever been anything between you and Catherine?” I swear he’s blushing, although the beard makes it a bit hard to tell.
“No, I don’t think Catherine ever saw me as anything more than the younger Simms brother.” It’s subtle but there seems to be a hint of sadness in his voice.
“What about more recently?”
“What? No. The other day was the first time we’ve hung out, just us, maybe ever. You know that. Plus there’s Griffin.”
“Plus there’s Griffin,” I echo, sighing.
“I don’t want to tell you to give up, but I also don’t like seeing you hurt. It’s probably not good for you to be thinking about someone that is this determined to date your sister. Especially because you love her and value your relationship with her.”
“You’re right. I don’t know that I’m over him enough to be her wing woman in this situation. At the very least, I can pull back and focus on other things.”
“I think that’s probably for the best.” He sits for a moment, lost in thought, before shaking his head. “Want to watch the next episode?”
“Most definitely. I need to know what happens next!”
We watch a second episode, getting more hooked and confused than we were already until I have to be responsible and call it a night. I send Rafferty on his way since he has early clients, then clean up our dishes and my cooking mess before I shower and head to bed. I purposefully don’t think about Griffin Simms.
At all.
Or much, anyway.
And dreams don’t even count.
14
griffin
I do not understand what is wrong with me. I’m doing everything I’m supposed to, the way that I’m supposed to. I’m with the right woman, we’re doing things the right way—slowly and carefully. I’m working hard at something I’m passionate about. Why do I feel…numb? I wouldn’t exactly say I’m unhappy. It’s more an absence of happiness or any strong emotions. The only time I seem to light up is when I cross paths with Mina. But that leads to more frustration and guilt. I’m not counting it, as it’s a problem. Nothing in my life excites me right now and I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why. Maybe it’s that I’m not pushing myself. Catherine and I have been sticking to things like getting dinner and going to the movies. Reliable and fun could go together, right? It could be that what we need is to do more fun things together, except I’m not entirely sure what that looks like.
Me: What should I do for fun?
Raff: Only you would need help to have fun, Griff
Me: Don’t be a dick
Me: Help me!
Raff: Hike? You like a challenge, being physical, and being out in nature is good
Me: Perfect. Thanks
A hiking date. I’m positive this will break me out of my funk and help push our relationship in the right direction. Tomorrow is Prince Kuhio day. Schools are closed as well as government offices. It’s an ideal time for a day date. Me, Catherine, and nature. The perfect combination for moving forward.
