Page 113 of Desecrated Saints
His caramel eyes scrape over me like molten lava. I could lose myself in his gaze, even on the days when it’s cold and filled with the icy fires of hatred. Seven sees part of me that I keep hidden from the world, underneath the shame and loathing of what Augustus has made us.
“I’ll be here until you know what you want,” I promise.
“When this is all over, you’ll leave.”
His words stop me dead in my tracks. Hudson realises we’re having a moment and crosses the road to finish his cigarette. I peer up at Seven, attempting to read the unfathomable look on his face.
“Why?”
“What we have isn’t fit for the real world,” he says in a matter-of-fact tone. “You said it before. Surviving and living are two very different things. I’ve kept you alive, but that doesn’t mean I’m capable of helping you live.”
“You seriously think I’d walk away after all we’ve been through?”
Seven shoves unkempt hair behind his ears. “I wouldn’t blame you. There’s no future for me in this world, we both know that. I’m not capable of getting better. They’ll lock me up and throw away the key.”
I take a shallow breath. “You are exactly who you’re supposed to be. Jude, Seven, fucking Santa Claus. I don’t give a damn what you are or how you got here. Don’t you know how I feel about you?”
Biting his bottom lip, a glimmer of want flashes across his expression. Seven wraps himself in barbed wire and violence to survive the brutality of this world. Life is easier when you wield your pain as a weapon, cutting down all who dare to come close. The torment of staying alive is easier that way.
“You’re scared.” I grab a handful of his plain t-shirt. “I know what it’s like to lose everything that matters to you. When I make a promise, I keep it. You will never have to lose me.”
He looks so vulnerable, wracked by indecision.
“I don’t want to be a burden to anyone, even you,” he finally admits.
“Fuck, Sev. I was a wreck long before Augustus got his hands on me. I can’t get through a single day at the moment without crying. I see shit that isn’t real, hurt people who don’t deserve it and need the strength of five men just to keep me on my feet. If anyone’s a burden here, it’s me.”
“They love you. There’s a difference.”
I cup his cheek. “What difference? Are you so thickskulled that you can’t see I fucking love you too? I’m in love with you, Sev. I have been since that damned basement.”
Emotions churn in his irises after so long spent turning off his humanity. He’s no longer the gaunt, lifeless man I used to be terrified of. His impenetrable shield is falling down, revealing someone else inside.
“I’m not sure what love means.” Seven’s brows crease. “But… I think it would feel like this. I can’t breathe when I’m around you. All I want is to drink the oxygen from your lungs. Living in a world without your strength at my side is no longer an option. I can’t take another step alone.”
Brushing my lips against his, I seal the kiss with a sigh of blissful defeat. This isn’t a battle I want to win. I’ll surrender my weapons and allow myself to fall on Seven’s sword. He can take the last remaining shard of my heart and do with it what he pleases… as long as I can stay right here, in his arms.
“That’s love,” I say against his lips. “You never have to be alone again.”
Folded into his strong, scarred arms, I feel myself slump. We melt into each other like rain dissipating on a summer’s day. Cars and pedestrians pass us, but the world is insignificant. He’s the beginning and the end of my existence in this precious moment.
“Oi, lovebirds!” Hudson heckles us. “Get a fucking move on.”
Seven’s chuckle brushes over me. “I really can’t kill him now, can I?”
“We’re a package deal, I’m afraid. You get used to him.”
“I think I already have.”
We cross the street together to join our disgruntled third member. Hudson studies me first, then Seven, before releasing an exaggerated sigh.
“This asshat is sticking around then, huh?”
Seven’s smile is smug. “You’d miss my sunny personality too much, pretty boy.”
Hudson gets him in a headlock, and the pair wrestle their way down the street. I’m left to watch and laugh, mentally betting on who will win out. When Hudson prevails, Seven mutters something about breaking his skull and returns to my side.
“Hud? Where are we going? Getting hungry here.”
