Page 110 of Desecrated Saints
“I promised to follow you in this life and the next; conspiracies, assassins and finger-chopping bastards aside. I still have one good hand to do this with.”
His fingers bury in my hair, encouraging me to look up. Before I can take a breath, Phoenix is kissing the living daylights out of me. His soft lips move against mine in a passionate dance, demanding every ounce of submission I have left to give.
I’ll happily let myself be consumed by him.
Death doesn’t scare me, but losing him does.
Phoenix’s teeth nip my lip with his usual playfulness, even as my tears leak between us in a salty flow. We end up gasping and laughing together. Everything about this is so fucked. Our happiness at being reunited feels futile in the face of so much tragedy.
“So,” Phoenix whispers. “You don’t mind another boyfriend with missing body parts, right?”
I kiss the corner of his mouth. “If you don’t mind a girlfriend with enough baggage to sink a ship and four other boyfriends, then nope. I can deal.”
“We’re counting Seven in this shitshow now, huh?”
“Group vote. Nothing to do with me.”
He nuzzles my throat. “Damn. I miss out on all the important stuff.”
Resting his weary head on Phoenix’s chest, Eli releases a contented sigh. I curl up tighter, letting my fingers bury in his ringlets to gently massage his head. He can sleep now for the first time in days, knowing Phoenix is back exactly where he fucking belongs.
With both of us snuggled close, I feel the tension drain out of Phoenix’s body.
“Do you need anything? More painkillers? Or we can move to another bed, give you some space.”
“You’re staying right where you are,” he says firmly. “Everything I need is in this room.”
As I lay there staring at his face, too many words to count beg to escape my lips. His expression is conflicted. When Eli’s light snores fill the room, I feel Phoenix’s chest shudder with the first sob. He’s biting his lip to keep his crying silent.
“I’m so sorry,” I repeat, my own cheeks wet.
“I couldn’t keep her safe. Charlie is dead because of me.”
“No, she isn’t. They did this. It’s not your fault.”
His tear-logged, chocolatey eyes meet mine. “I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. She was just a kid when I left. Now, I’ll never see her again.”
“You will. Not on this earth, but one day. I believe that.”
“Does it make it easier?” he asks through his agony. “Believing?”
Taking his good hand from my leg, I link our fingers together. His sister is dead. Sadie’s gone, lost in spectacular ashes. We’ve lost our future. Our lives. The freedom that drove us to break our way out of Blackwood’s cruel grasp.
It’s all far more than we bargained for. But who gets what they deserve in life? None of the guys asked for this. I brought darkness into their lives the day I arrived, but they haven’t once blamed me. The least I can do is hold Phoenix in his grief and put his broken pieces back together, just like he did for me.
“Nothing makes this easier. We’re here though, Nix.”
“Stay with me tonight? Please?”
“I’m not going anywhere. Sleep, I’ve got you.”
It takes a long time for him to drop off, his tears staining the pale-grey pillowcase beneath his head. I hold on tight through every last teardrop, determined to keep him afloat amidst the falling rain of his agony. It’s all I can do now. Nothing else will end this torment.
When I fall asleep too, Kade’s earlier words echo in my head. He was right all along. We get through shit as a family. Together, not apart.
All we have left in this world is each other, and that alone is worth enduring all this pain and heartache for.
CHAPTER 23
